I was a nanny for four kids for 2 years. There were triplets who were 2 when I started and their older brother was 3. They are now nearing 6 and 7. I basically raised these kids and was there for so many milestones in those years. Even after I was no longer their nanny (I was live-in) I continued living with them for a year while I was a teacher at their school. I moved out of their house at the end of May to move to FI's town. Their parents asked me to come watch them for the weekend so they could get away and I was more than happy to since I missed them like CRAZY! Well, it is night 2 of watching them and I just sat out on the back patio crying because they have grown up so much in the few months I've been away on top of the time I lived with them but wasn't with them all day. The little kids that were my babies are no longer there. They're in grade school. They have opinions and attitudes and lives and friends and they pick up things from these friends at school...they're so much older than they were with me. And I miss my babies terribly. What is so hard is that when I leave tomorrow, I don't know when I'll be seeing them again, except maybe to come help the girls get their flower girls dresses, then the wedding in 6 months. And there are so many other milestones that I'll miss. The time will come that I've been away from them more than I've been with them. They'll grow up and a day will come (probably not too far in the future...) where I won't play as important a role to them. And that devastates me. I love them with all my heart and it hurts so much to think that they'll remember me less and less as I'm able to be there.
On the other hand, I know that a few years down the road FI and I will have our own kids and it will be a whole new experience and I will ALWAYS be one of the most important people in their life...it is just hard to separate myself from these kids right now when mine are only thoughts at the moment. Just had to share somewhere...thanks for listening!
