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Honoring Loved Ones Passed Away

AlythAxelrodAlythAxelrod member
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in Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
Hi,
My brother passed away a couple of years ago (almost 2 exactly, actually), and I'm trying ot think of ways to honor him during the officiant's part of the ceremony wihtout making anything overly sad. My mother reacts poorly to any direct mention of him, so I definitely can't do anything too direct; I was thinking of a basic "acknowledging those who cannot be with us today", but am starting to wonder if that is too vague. This is really a very personal and difficult subject, and I'd appreciate any realistic/understanding suggestions. Thank you in advance!
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Re: Honoring Loved Ones Passed Away

  • Tanq&TonicTanq&Tonic
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Given that you know it hurts your mother so much, could you do something very subtle?  I love when brides tie a photo on a locket to their bouquet, or sew a momento into the underside of their gown -- gestures that are essentially invisible to the average person, but still enable him to be with you on the day.  Out of respect to your mother, I'd remove all references in the program and ceremony just to avoid opening old wounds over & over throughout the day.
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  • Michellea86Michellea86
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My mom passed away just over a year ago, and i am also trying to find a way to honor her on that day without making it too sad. My sister just got married, and she had a table with a few candles, flowers and photo of my mom on it. I think it was a great idea, and not too sad for the guests.

    How would your mom handle something like that? its subtle, and out there for everyone to see at the same time.
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  • AlythAxelrodAlythAxelrod member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thank you for your suggestions; I am actually putting a memonto into my bouquet, but I wanted to maybe add something into what the officiant says without it being too "obvious" or "general"...fine line to walk, I suppose. Thanks again:)
    BabyFruit Ticker One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life, that word is Love. - Socrates
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  • jml1981jml1981
    500 Comments
    I know this is a little vague, but this is what I plan on doing during the beginning of the ceremony.

    The officiant will say - “At this time we would like to take a moment to remember those people who aren't here to celebrate with us. We will always remember them and we know that they are celebrating with us in spirit. The memories of these beautiful people live on in our hearts today."

    I am doing this for my father and grandfather who passed in 2006 and all my other grandparents who passed before I was born. I didn't want it to be specific, but people will know who I mean.
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  • AlythAxelrodAlythAxelrod member
    First Comment
    jml1981: Thank you so much; I am going to use a modified version of what you posted during my vows:)

    BabyFruit Ticker One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life, that word is Love. - Socrates
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