My fiancé and I are getting married in September 2011 and have planned a week long trip to the beach with our wedding party so they can get to know each other, and Friday night we will split up to have separate bachelor and bachelorette parties. Well that was the original plan…now it seems like my girlfriends can’t make it down for most of the week (they will be there for the big night) and only a few of the guys will be there all week. I expressed to my fiancé that since we are renting a house for the week, I still want to take full advantage of relaxing before the wedding and having fun (we are paying for most of the house anyway). Well now all I hear is “me and the guys are going to do this, and me and the guys are going to do that.” And to top it off, after expressing how excited I was to still go to the beach REGARDLESS of who was going, my fiancé had the audacity to tell me, “I’m going to drive down with my friend…you just come later in the week.” EXCUSE ME?! Am I wrong or is that hurtful?? I feel like I am being completely excluded from something that I helped to plan and was looking forward to! I only want to be married once…this entire process is something I want to look back on and remember and this was a huge part of that. Now I don’t even feel welcome. I tried to explain that I don’t care if him and his guy friends want to hang out, but don’t make me feel like I don’t even exist. So he tells me that I can still come, but don’t be mad when he is out all day with the guys and I am left home alone. I just don’t understand why he won’t even TRY to include me at some point during the week. The whole beach house with both of our wedding parties being together was his idea in the first place! Just because things didn’t work out as planned, why am I getting the short end of the stick? Should I even go to our beach trip or just go for my bachelorette party…or just stay home and have one?
And to backtrack a little, the guy my fiancé is going to drive to the beach with was recently separated from his wife. We all used to hang out together (not too often, but every few months since we live far away) and no matter what the guys wanted to do, they always included us and we all had a great time together. Now that he is separated, he is CONSTANTLY calling and texting my fiancé and always asking him to go out. It’s like total overload! Where was this guy when he was still married?? Now all of a sudden everything is guys guys guys guys GUYS! I feel like just because he changed his lifestyle doesn’t mean that we should suddenly completely change ours. I realize that things will be different now, but my fiancé seems to not understand that he is not a bachelor and I do have feelings. For example, I recently asked my fiancé if he and I could go to a hockey game together (we are season ticket holders but have sold a lot of tickets to make money for the wedding). He called me later that day and asked if I would be okay if he took this friend instead. I was so hurt! And hurt even more that he got mad at me for being upset! We ended up going but not without a huge fight and him telling me I am selfish. Am I being selfish? I feel like I am slowly becoming the third wheel in my own relationship! HELP!!! Am I wrong for feeling upset?