Pre-wedding Parties

Two weeks enough notice for a shower invite?

So, with the holidays rolling around my mom and FMIL had their plate full, as expected!  They are planning my shower for 1/30/2010 because both families are available that weekend. But because they got so busy they didn't have time to check out the places and book a spot. 

Since they won't have time to check out another place till next week, invites won't go out until about two weeks prior.

My mom was wondering if this is too late?  My thoughts were just push back the shower a week if so, but I really think 2 weeks notice is ok.... although according to 'etiquette' it isn't ideal.

Thoughts?
Anniversary

Re: Two weeks enough notice for a shower invite?

  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I think it might be too late for some people. Some people need at least two weeks to take a day off from work.
    image
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_two-weeks-enough-notice-shower-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:baa6b60e-ec2e-4af8-8669-e8143e40ed3cPost:9586a43e-d219-41e4-9fa7-ce46209986b9">Re: Two weeks enough notice for a shower invite?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think it might be too late for some people. Some people need at least two weeks to take a day off from work.
    Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

    hmmmmm, good point.  hey can i ask you this too....do we really have to send out invites for the rehearsal dinner?  is it terrible to just invite by word of mouth?
    Anniversary
  • Kristin789Kristin789 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011

    Shower invitations sent with two weeks notice:  That's fine.

    RD invitations:  Yeah, most MOG's insist on creating wonderful RD invitations, and planning and hosting a wonderful dinner party.  My friend B told her FI's mother that B wanted to have a Mexican dinner party, and sent FI's mother two sample templates showing the kind of border and font that B would like.  FI's mother told B in no uncertain terms that SHE, FI'S MOTHER, had planned MANY dinner parties and that SHE, FI'S MOTHER, could certainly handle planning THIS dinner party which would be hosted by HER, FI'S MOTHER and FI'S FATHER.  So my advice to you is to NOT get in the way of your FI's mother on the RD.  Just let her host the wonderful party for you... 

  • LoveMuffinsLoveMuffins member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Since your shower is on a Sunday (I'm assuming you meant 1/30/2011), I wouldn't worry about people having to take off work. 2 - 4 weeks is the perfect amount of time beforehand. When I was a bridesmaid we sent them about 3 weeks ahead, and that was just perfect. You don't want to give people too much time before the event, just as you don't want to give them too little. 1 week's notice wouldn't be enough, but I think you'll be ok with 2 weeks. If you're worried, maybe you can give the hostess the emails of all the people who will be invited and she can send them an e-invite just for the date and let them know the formal invitations will be in the mail as soon as they have the location locked down.
    Rocking the Dress with my Bestie
    image
    Vacation
    Married Bio
    Day Zero / Blog
  • LoveMuffinsLoveMuffins member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Oh, and ditto to what Kristin said about the RD.
    Rocking the Dress with my Bestie
    image
    Vacation
    Married Bio
    Day Zero / Blog
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_two-weeks-enough-notice-shower-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:baa6b60e-ec2e-4af8-8669-e8143e40ed3cPost:8bbe3558-850a-42bf-9668-1868eb8c046e">Re: Two weeks enough notice for a shower invite?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Shower invitations sent with two weeks notice:  That's fine. RD invitations:  Yeah, most MOG's insist on creating wonderful RD invitations, and planning and hosting a wonderful dinner party.  My friend B told her FI's mother that B wanted to have a Mexican dinner party, and sent FI's mother two sample templates showing the kind of border and font that B would like.  FI's mother told B in no uncertain terms that SHE, FI'S MOTHER, had planned MANY dinner parties and that SHE, FI'S MOTHER, could certainly handle planning THIS dinner party which would be hosted by HER, FI'S MOTHER and FI'S FATHER.  So my advice to you is to NOT get in the way of your FI's mother on the RD.  Just let her host the wonderful party for you... 
    Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]

    uh oh, so my FI and I must be terds for hosting our own RD?  we just have people from out of town coming in and wanted them to be fed. So we're having pizza, salad and breadsticks at my FI's brothers after the church rehearsal.

    Should we not call it a RD?  And just say "come on over for dinner?"
    Anniversary
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Kristen makes a lot of assumptions based on 1950's etiquette. Some parents of the groom like to host the RD; many do not. And it would be presumptuous of you to expect them to do it.

    Your pizza party sounds fine and very convenient for your RD guests. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you and fi hosting your own RD, since it is a thank you to your wedding party for participating. Formal invitations are not a requirement as long as you are able to give everyone the details before hand. If phone or email is the most efficient way for you to do it, that's okay.


                       
  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_two-weeks-enough-notice-shower-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:baa6b60e-ec2e-4af8-8669-e8143e40ed3cPost:4dea7e12-f37c-4f7b-b862-cd5bfc2f0c5e">Re: Two weeks enough notice for a shower invite?</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Since your shower is on a Sunday (I'm assuming you meant 1/30/20 11 ), I wouldn't worry about people having to take off work. </strong>2 - 4 weeks is the perfect amount of time beforehand. When I was a bridesmaid we sent them about 3 weeks ahead, and that was just perfect. You don't want to give people too much time before the event, just as you don't want to give them too little. 1 week's notice wouldn't be enough, but I think you'll be ok with 2 weeks. If you're worried, maybe you can give the hostess the emails of all the people who will be invited and she can send them an e-invite just for the date and let them know the formal invitations will be in the mail as soon as they have the location locked down.
    Posted by LoveMuffins[/QUOTE]
    Oh, I was speaking from personal experience. Both my fiance and I and most of our friends and family work weekends.
    But it all depends on who is on your guests list lol.

    I was never given an actual invitation to a RD, either. Just WOM. :)
    image
  • deb84deb84 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Two weeks notice depends on your guest list.  If they are all close it is no problem at all.  If a lot of people are over an hour or two away it might be a different story.

    RD: It is 100% okay that you are hosting.  As for invites, no you don't have to do formal invitations but please give them warning.  Call, text, email whatever but let them know what is going on. 

    I was in a wedding once and the bride and groom planned a brunch and gift opening for the Sunday after the wedding but none of the wedding party was told about it until the rehersal the night before the wedding.  A lot of us had made other plans or had travel plans set to leave.  Inform your wedding party!!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker Photobucket
  • john&juliejohn&julie member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    The only problem with 2 weeks' notice is out of towners, so if anyone is traveling, maybe it would be a good idea to call them now so they can look into travel options and then they'll get their invitation in the mail later. 

    Also, maybe I'm a little different from everyone else, but I have been a bridesmaid more times than I can remember and I think I have had a formal invitation to every single rehearsal dinner (and it's not a regional thing - I've been in weddings in the South, the Midwest, and on the East Coast).  That said, I certainly don't think they are mandatory - whatever the person(s) hosting want to do works.  So if word of mouth is your style, go for it. 
  • TamiFaithTamiFaith member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The people who really want to be there- and likely the ones you really want to be there- will be there.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_two-weeks-enough-notice-shower-invite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:baa6b60e-ec2e-4af8-8669-e8143e40ed3cPost:24d84540-851d-4b6a-8c12-326f2ac868b5">Re: Two weeks enough notice for a shower invite?</a>:
    [QUOTE]The people who really want to be there- and likely the ones you really want to be there- will be there.
    Posted by TamiFaith[/QUOTE]

    <div>As long as they can make it. Even people who would love to be there might not be able to if they have a previous engagement and can't get out of it. I think 2 weeks is a bit too short of notice. Plus, with the sudden cost (ie: for a gift) you want to be considerate of people's budgets - money tends to be tight a few weeks after Christmas, for example. </div>
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards