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Wedding Etiquette Forum
Bridesmaides
I don't know what to do. My fiance's brother just got married and his sister is getting married next month. We were not engaged for his brother's wedding so
I was not asked to be in the bridal party. His sister didn't ask me to be in her wedding next month. Do I have to ask my future sister-inlaws to be in mine? And if I don't ask them is it in poor taste to ask two of his cousins instead?
I was not asked to be in the bridal party. His sister didn't ask me to be in her wedding next month. Do I have to ask my future sister-inlaws to be in mine? And if I don't ask them is it in poor taste to ask two of his cousins instead?
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Re: Bridesmaides
Married!
I had been dating my then BF for 3 years when his sister got married and was not a bridesmaid. Dating four years when his brother got married and was in the wedding party. I had already been friendly with FI's brothers then GF, but now I am much closer with FI's brother's wife than his sister, because we had a lot of bonding time.
FI wanted his sister in our WP. I could care less. She has not treated me as a future sister, even when I have tried to do stuff with her. I didn't want to isolate her further by not including her. I'd like to think we'd become closer through the wedding planning and parties, but I don't see it happening. At least I can say I tried and I didn't hurt anyone's feelings. I know FMIL would have been pissed if FSIL wasn't part of the WP.
If your FI wants his sisters in the wedding, they can always stand on his side and be groomswomen. I've seen it done many times.
Married!
My Fi's sisters are doing readings for us, but are not in the WP. My brother is standing on my side because my FI likes him, but they aren't that close, and I wanted my brother on my side.
40/112
It was just really important to me to have my sister + 3 best friends as BMs, so I suggested the GW thing (since he had fewer GM anyway). He thought it was weird at first, but she was thrilled and everyone was happy.
[QUOTE]It's "bridesmaid" and "sisters inlaw" - not "sister inlaws".
Posted by pumpkinpumpkin[/QUOTE]
I gotta say, "sister in laws" is a huge pet peeve of mine.
40/112
I am not a bridesmaid in FH's sister's wedding, and did not expect to be. FH is a groomsman in his sister's wedding.
FH's sisters are both my bridesmaids, and my brother is going to be a groomsman in our wedding. My brother got engaged recently, and his fiance is not going to be a bridesmaid in our wedding.
To be completely honest, I'll be hurt if I'm not asked to stand up in my brother's wedding. My brother is walking me down the aisle.
My suggestion, to avoid hurt feelings, is to include your FH's siblings if he's close to them. They should be in the wedding, on either your side or his, for him. FH's sister-in-law doesn't necessarily fit that bill, though she might.
And if you're close to them, go ahead and ask the cousins.
I don't really see why either of his sisters would have been obligated on any level to include you in their WP, unless they were by chance marrying one of your brothers. Their marriages aren't joining your and your FI's families. Your marriage to your FI is.
That being said, while it's not against the law to exclude the bride or groom's siblings from the WP, in some families, it's really not worth the headache entailed with doing so.
If his family doesn't get upset by that sort of thing, just ask whomever you want and don't worry about it. If his family is the type that would throw it in your face at every single Thanksgiving and family reunion "for as long as you both shall live" that his sisters were left out (And those families really do exist), trust me, you're way better off just sucking it up and buying a couple of extra bouquets and including them as either bridesmaids or groomswomen.
If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
"Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar