Love

Re: Love

• TheDuckis member

  

  May 2010 edited December 2011

  He's not required to pay or participate. If he doesn't want to give you away, then ask your mom. But if you already asked, and he already said yes, then you can't un-ask him as a punishment for not being more excited.

  
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• Butter Cookie member

  

  May 2010 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_dad-doesnt-care?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:9235d3af-56d6-45b5-9109-1ac82e43581ePost:a6ddf44b-aece-418f-a889-b84fc2acc58c">Dad Doesn't Care</a>:
  [QUOTE]After multiple attempts to talk to my dad about the wedding and his place in it, he hasn't expressed any interest. He isn't helping to pay for anything and hasn't asked to participate in any way. I did ask him to give me away before I realized this, and nowI think I want my mom to do it instead. (They have been divorced for 25 years and get along.) My mom has always been there for me no matter what, and I feel she diserves this honor more. Should I tell my dad that I've changed my mind?
  Posted by jmpowell81[/QUOTE]
  
  
  So... his walking you down the aisle is dependent upon his financial contribution to the wedding?

  

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• Butter Cookie member

  

  May 2010 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_dad-doesnt-care?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:9235d3af-56d6-45b5-9109-1ac82e43581ePost:2add8d6e-03fb-4aa2-9a1c-ce1afdda0b2c">Re: Dad Doesn't Care</a>:
  [QUOTE]No, my mom isn't paying for it either. His walking me down the aisle is dependent on him contributing anything. Be it emotional or financial. He's missed out on a lot of important things in my life and I have expressed to him how important it is for me to have him be a part of it. I just feel like I will continue to be daisappointed.
  Posted by jmpowell81[/QUOTE]
  
  
  So let him know that after further consideration you'd rather have your mom walk you down the aisle. If he's never bothered to be a part of your life he certainly shouldn't be shocked by that (though he probably will be)
  
  But prepare for it to be a relationship ending conversation.
  
  If you want to not end your relationship why don't you have them both walk you down the aisle?
  
  (PS Dads rarely care about weddings beyond how-am-i-going-to-pay-for-this-oh-my-god-my-little-girl-is-getting-married-yay-free-booze.)

  

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• TheDuckis member

  

  May 2010 edited December 2011

  Well then it was your bad for asking him in the first place. If you unask him, you need to be prepared to never have a relationship with him going forward, because that's a huge "fvck you."

  
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• loveshine1 member

  

  May 2010 edited December 2011

  I like Butter Cookie's suggestion of having them both walk you down the aisle. Why not include both of them?

  

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• E Squared member

  

  May 2010 edited December 2011

  Yeah. I really don't get the whole need for these major life events to be some sort of healing balm for long-dead relationships. Why would one even be all that surprised that he's not that enthused?

  

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