Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum
Wedding Etiquette Forum
New Discussion

Asked to change wedding plans of a destination to local....

sunshine234280sunshine234280 member
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I have been planning a small destination wedding since I got engaged, this is by choice of myself and my fiance. Now only a couple of months before the wedding our parents are asking us why we can't have a local wedding...??? I already figured out all of the details of this wedding and the overestimated budget is about $5500. Not only did I plan such a cheap wedding but still making it what we wanted and beautiful for that cost, but I cut in all the areas that Brides love to indulge in to make this budget cheap. Still, now we are asked to make it local because of cost. Now read closely..... I am being told that even $5500 is alot of money when they don't have it, so why can't I change it to local. "If it is local we can have alot more things like a limo and reception for 200 ppl...blah blah blah." I'm sorry but didn't you say $5500 is too much, then why would I make it local for you to add all the things I never even wanted as extra costs. See, I'm irritated and just don't know what to think about all of this... my dream wedding was about $25-30k at Disney World in Fl but yeah I knew very quickly that's just a dream but I needed to plan a reality wedding. Well a wedding for 25ppl in Savannah for about $5500 overestimated is not so out of touch in my mind. Let me know what you think Help!!
Report Reply to Post

Re: Asked to change wedding plans of a destination to local....

  • kikibabykikibaby member
    5000 Comments

    I can't tell who is paying- you or your parents?  If you're paying, have it wherever you want. 

    image
    Report Reply
  • lapcanlapcan member
    10 Comments
    edited July 2010
    It sounds to me like your parents are paying, right?  If that's the case then they have the final say.  If you want a destination wedding then you need to save the money and pay for it yourself.
    Report Reply
  • myother1myother1 member
    100 Comments
    If you're not paying (which I'm assuming that you're not since you're being told the budget is too high for someone else to pay), you need to respect the wishes of whoever is hosting (paying).

    If they want it local, you do it local.

    If you MUST get married in Savannah, you either need to pay for it yourself or have a serious heart-to-heart (not fight) with your hosts and hope they change their minds.


    image
    Report Reply
  • georgia_bride09georgia_bride09 member
    5000 Comments
    So your parents are paying and they want it local? I don't really see the problem here.
    Report Reply
  • danieliza1127danieliza1127 member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    If your parents are paying for the wedding and they would rather throw you a big wedding, you can either say okay and let them, or say no thanks we're fine with what we have planned.  You just need to remember that "he who pays, says".
    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Birdie1483Birdie1483 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited July 2010
    I see two possible things in your situation.

    1) If your parents are like my mom, they want it to be local so they can invite their friends and show you off. The price thing might just be an excuse for them to use.

    2) I agree that it's going to be hard to fit a local wedding, especially by inviting more people (200), into a 5k budget. Either they don't realize the cost of such an event or they're using the price as an excuse (see above).

    Either way, you need to talk with them honestly about how you feel regarding your wedding and realize that if they're paying for the wedding, they are going to have a big say in what happens.
    Report Reply
  • MISSCOURTNEY20MISSCOURTNEY20 member
    1000 Comments
    I'm trying to figure out how are all of these plans going to change and the wedding is in a couple of months? Hmmmm....
    And the whole time, my future husband was in the room...... image image
    Report Reply
  • quotequeenquotequeen member
    2500 Comments
    I think it's a little late for them to be bringing this up now.  But as for the money, what exactly was your conversation about the budget?  Did they say they were paying and then you never really talked about how much they could afford to spend or what they wanted?  If you go forward with your wedding as planned, you probably need to be prepared to pay for it yourself.
    Married 10/2/10
    Report Reply
  • temerityjanetemerityjane
    2500 Comments
    Even if you parents are paying, bringing it up after you already planned everything is a little out of line.

    My question is, are they demanding you move the wedding home, or are they asking you to consider having it locally one more time?

    If it's the latter, sit down and explain to them that this is what you really want. If they're reasonable people, they'll understand.

    Alternately, ask a wedding message board for advice while giving a bare minimum of information and no insight into your family situation, because that will turn out much better.
    On bed rest since Groundhog's Day and every day since has been exactly the same.
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Blog
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards