Bridesmaid and Tattoos

theresa1879 · June 2012

I love body art dont get me wrong. I am having a difficult time with one of my bridesmaids with it all over her arms. She is my soon to be sister in law and I am having her in my bridal party on my side. How do I ask her politely to cover it up? Should I even ask her?
Has anyone else had this problem?

Mrs.B6302007 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-and-tattoos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:784e193b-e19d-4af2-ae82-1ee865933115Post:b406e5b3-f054-4ac0-a9f1-b5d80e09846a">Bridesmaid and Tattoos</a>:
[QUOTE]I love body art dont get me wrong. I am having a difficult time with one of my bridesmaids with it all over her arms. She is my soon to be sister in law and I am having her in my bridal party on my side. How do I ask her politely to cover it up? Should I even ask her? Has anyone else had this problem?
Posted by theresa1879[/QUOTE]

You don't. They are part of her. I'm sure you love her for who she is, right? And you're asking her to stand with you because you love her? =-)

gurrlballa10 · June 2012

You don't. You knew she had tattoos before you asked her. If you had such a problem with it, you shouldn't have asked her in the first place.

karulyne · June 2012

I don't think you can, really. It would be like asking her to dye her hair so that everyone has the same hair color, its part of her...you could pick dresses with long sleeves if it bothers you maybe?

jemmini6 · June 2012

There's no polite way to do this because it would be hurtful and offensive. Her tattoos are a part of who she is, which you clearly knew before you asked her, so you can't ask her to hide that.

theresa1879 · June 2012

Yes I am asking her to stand with me because I do love her. I love all of her and I love my soon to be husband whom this is her sister.
I was just wondering if there was a polite way to do it. Obviously not.
Maybe I can do a couple of pics with scarves.
I have a thing with women and tatoos on their arms its a personal thing. My opinion.
But I wouldnt want her not in my wedding and she will be there tattoos and all.

kmmssg · June 2012

You do realize bringing out scarves for pics is a dead in your face "here, cover up your tatts.", right?

theresa1879 · June 2012

My wedding is in April. we need them anyway..I didnt realize this touched such a nerve with people..lol

mcskatcat · June 2012

I think your only options are to either have everyone wear a dress that covers that up or to just suck it up, and I would definitely suck it up. It's not going to say anything about you as the bride, and it's not going to change how nice your photos look.

bratto06 · June 2012

I had the same problem..so another BM was asking about a tattoo cover up kit and the other one said oh well if you are going to I will...problem solved but the scarf thing works also

jagore08 · June 2012

One of my BM was covered in tattoos. At the time of the wedding she had a half sleeve on one arm, a couple tattoos on the other, a huge one spanning her upper back, a couple on her legs and foot. They all wore short dresses and hers was an open back. No one noticed her tattoos and you can't really even notice them in pictures unless you're trying to do so. Here's a pic of my BP so you can see that it's really not a big deal.

gurrlballa10 · June 2012

Why do you need scarves in April?

RamonaFlowers · June 2012

The only way you're allowed to ask her to cover them is if you're getting married in a church where she'd be violating the dress code. And even in that particular situation, you can only ask that she cover up for the ceremony, she'd be allowed to ditch the scarf or make-up or whatever she covered them with after church.

MrsL2014 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-and-tattoos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:784e193b-e19d-4af2-ae82-1ee865933115Post:b406e5b3-f054-4ac0-a9f1-b5d80e09846a">Bridesmaid and Tattoos</a>:
[QUOTE]I love body art dont get me wrong. I am having a difficult time with one of my bridesmaids with it all over her arms. She is my soon to be sister in law and I am having her in my bridal party on my side. How do I ask her politely to cover it up? Should I even ask her? Has anyone else had this problem?
Posted by theresa1879[/QUOTE]

I love tattoos! I dont have any, but my MOH has a few tattoos and I hope she shows them because they are so gorgeous!!! She also has dreads which completely match her personality! I wouldnt ever ask her to cover up or change for me because I think she is amazing just the way she is.

SB1512 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-and-tattoos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:784e193b-e19d-4af2-ae82-1ee865933115Post:2235d7f8-19ef-419a-a9a6-183adcc08131">Re: Bridesmaid and Tattoos</a>:
[QUOTE]Why do you need scarves in April?
Posted by gurrlballa10[/QUOTE]

depending on location of the wedding April isn't necessarily a warm month........I live in CT and this past April we had days where the temps were in the 70's and days where it was in the 40's. If I was having an April wedding I would def make sure to have some sort of coverup for the arms especially if the plan was to do photos or the ceremony outside because the weather is so unpredictable.

bunni727 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-and-tattoos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:784e193b-e19d-4af2-ae82-1ee865933115Post:b406e5b3-f054-4ac0-a9f1-b5d80e09846a">Bridesmaid and Tattoos</a>:
[QUOTE]I love body art dont get me wrong. I am having a difficult time with one of my bridesmaids with it all over her arms. She is my soon to be sister in law and I am having her in my bridal party on my side. How do I ask her politely to cover it up? Should I even ask her? Has anyone else had this problem?
Posted by theresa1879[/QUOTE]

You don't ask her, there is no way to politlely tell her that the way she looks isn't good enough. I wouldn't ask her to cover them with a scarf either, because I'm sure she'll know why you want her to wear it. It makes me sad that so many people ask about this. My MOH has tons of tattoos, and I would never in a million years want to make her feel anything less than beautiful.

<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/8/5/d82d5533-282d-482a-b541-b73f5270b0a5.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/8/5/d82d5533-282d-482a-b541-b73f5270b0a5.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>

willywally5 · June 2012

One of DD's bridesmaids (sweetest girl EVER) asked her the other day if she wanted her to cover her tatt (floral design on he shoulder) for the wedding.

DD was like, "Why?It's no big deal. If it was a swastika or something, maybe I'd ask you to, but no. Don't worry about it."

I was so proud! ; )

And in answer to the OP's question: No, you should not ask her. You can't do it politely.

RamonaFlowers · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-and-tattoos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:784e193b-e19d-4af2-ae82-1ee865933115Post:8b007a30-769b-4c69-bbdc-ee78f71e80b6">Re: Bridesmaid and Tattoos</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaid and Tattoos : depending on location of the wedding April isn't necessarily a warm month........I live in CT and this past April we had days where the temps were in the 70's and days where it was in the 40's. If I was having an April wedding I would def make sure to have some sort of coverup for the arms especially if the plan was to do photos or the ceremony outside because the weather is so unpredictable.
Posted by SB1512[/QUOTE]

Truth. I'm at the Jersey Shore, and we've had Aprils where it's been in the 70s ... and then we've had Aprils where we've gotten snow. There's a possibility in April that a scarf might not be enough depending on where the wedding is.

willywally5 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-and-tattoos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:784e193b-e19d-4af2-ae82-1ee865933115Post:16caa62d-fd03-4ef6-8fc7-2c717413e744">Re: Bridesmaid and Tattoos</a>:
[QUOTE]One of my BM was covered in tattoos. At the time of the wedding she had a half sleeve on one arm, a couple tattoos on the other, a huge one spanning her upper back, a couple on her legs and foot. They all wore short dresses and hers was an open back. No one noticed her tattoos and you can't really even notice them in pictures unless you're trying to do so. Here's a pic of my BP so you can see that it's really not a big deal.
Posted by jagore08[/QUOTE]

<div>Those dresses are so pretty! Very similar to what DD is having ... Jasmine/Belle Soie Celadon. And the bridesmaid on the left ... I want arms like hers! Dang!</div><div>
</div><div>Not seeing the tats ... </div>

gurrlballa10 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-and-tattoos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:784e193b-e19d-4af2-ae82-1ee865933115Post:75125f06-cc25-467c-86f3-1362c5fe5390">Re: Bridesmaid and Tattoos</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaid and Tattoos : Those dresses are so pretty! Very similar to what DD is having ... Jasmine/Belle Soie Celadon. And the bridesmaid on the left ... I want arms like hers! Dang! Not seeing the tats ...
Posted by willywally5[/QUOTE]

haha...she is the bridesmaid on the left

theresa1879 · June 2012

Im letting this go...
We are in New York. Our wedding is in the mountains in the Catskills outdoors...

Im done with the tattoo issue. Thank you all for your input, rude or polite. I appreciate them all.

willywally5 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-and-tattoos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:784e193b-e19d-4af2-ae82-1ee865933115Post:c574a9fd-5860-4b26-bf86-0f50ef68b78e">Re: Bridesmaid and Tattoos</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaid and Tattoos : haha...she is the bridesmaid on the left
Posted by gurrlballa10[/QUOTE]

<div>Oh yeah, NOW I see! I was so busy noticing her buff arms the tattoos were secondary! So you can see how much of a 'problem' tats are to me! LOL</div><div>
</div><div>
</div>

ElisabethJoanne · June 2012

I'm in San Francisco. There's like 3 weeks of the year where I'm warm enough in a dress. Outside those 3 weeks, I'm always in long pants and sweaters. For my November wedding, I'll be in long sleeves, and I'm still worried about being cold without a sweater. So I totally get scarves-in-April.

I don't think you can make someone wear a scarf to stay warm, if she says she's not cold, though.

You can ask someone to cover her shoulders to meet a religious venue's dress code, though.

gurrlballa10 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-and-tattoos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:784e193b-e19d-4af2-ae82-1ee865933115Post:2c177de1-fa0e-44e1-a656-92407036087d">Re: Bridesmaid and Tattoos</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm in San Francisco. There's like 3 weeks of the year where I'm warm enough in a dress. Outside those 3 weeks, I'm always in long pants and sweaters. For my November wedding, I'll be in long sleeves, and I'm still worried about being cold without a sweater. So I totally get scarves-in-April. I<strong> don't think you can make someone wear a scarf to stay warm, if she says she's not cold, though.</strong> You can ask someone to cover her shoulders to meet a religious venue's dress code, though.
Posted by ElisabethJoanne[/QUOTE]

That's were I was going, but you said it more clearly.

jemmini6 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-and-tattoos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:784e193b-e19d-4af2-ae82-1ee865933115Post:ad6d02f5-bb55-4294-b306-1145abf96ecf">Re: Bridesmaid and Tattoos</a>:
[QUOTE]Im letting this go... We are in New York. Our wedding is in the mountains in the Catskills outdoors... Im done with the tattoo issue. Thank you all for your input, rude or polite. I appreciate them all.
Posted by theresa1879[/QUOTE]

Who was rude?

theresa1879 · June 2012

It doesnt matter who I thought was rude. These are supposed to be positive boards and I will keep it that way. I am gracious and thankful for every opinion stated and will plan my wedding how I see fit

GOOD LUCK LADIES

.

Summer2011Bride · June 2012

No one was rude to you, just honest. You asked a question and got huffy when you weren't given the answers you wanted.

As for the scarves, like a PP mentioned, it's fine to have scarves or shawls available for the sake of warmth to all the BMs, but you can't force them to wear them if they are not cold.

theresa1879 · June 2012

How did I get huffy? I made a suggestion??
It may not be the right one..everyone was defending the tattoos lol
Its fine. I will make due and everyone will be beautiful. No biggie

This really isnt a tragedy. Like I said I let it go...

Summer2011Bride · June 2012

None of us ever thought it was a tragedy or was up in arms about it; you were the one coming on here complaining about a tattoo on someone's arm and then you claimed people were rude when no one was. Then you couldn't point out specific posters when we asked who was rude, which is a a very logical follow-up question.

Jimian · June 2012

I asked my fiance's cousin to be in my bridal party. I didn't know at the time that she has a huge tattoo on her back and upper arm. We picked out bridesmaid dresses that were strapless, and I didn't realize until after all the girls paid for the dresses that she has this tattoo. My family is pretty conservative, and I know it would raise eyebrows as well as stand out in pictures (my bridesmaid dresses are a light gold color and her tattoo is a bright blue). I debated with the idea of asking her if it would be okay to have the makeup artist airbrush the tattoos the day of the wedding. It would have cost $30 which isn't bad (I would obviously offer to pay). If you are still uncomfortable with the tattoo then I think this is the best way to go about it. You should say it nicely and then offer to pay for the airbrush cost.

For me though, after thinking about it for awhile, I decided to let it go and not ask her to cover them up. I don't want to start out on the wrong foot if she were to get offended, and I didn't want any awkward tension. I told myself if the tattoos stand out in the pictures, I can have my photographer photoshop them out.

And I agree with the PP - some people gave rude and self-righteous responses. Just because some brides were okay with their bridesmaids having full tattoo sleeves doesn't mean that the PP is an awful person for being uncomfortable with it. Honestly, if I had known my fiance's cousin had this tattoo, I would have chosen a dress that covered it up.

daffydillie · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-and-tattoos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:784e193b-e19d-4af2-ae82-1ee865933115Post:03c13eed-6cb4-42a1-b468-475b246b93e6">Re: Bridesmaid and Tattoos</a>:
[QUOTE]I asked my fiance's cousin to be in my bridal party. I didn't know at the time that she has a huge tattoo on her back and upper arm. We picked out bridesmaid dresses that were strapless, and I didn't realize until after all the girls paid for the dresses that she has this tattoo. My family is pretty conservative, and I know it would raise eyebrows as well as stand out in pictures (my bridesmaid dresses are a light gold color and her tattoo is a bright blue). I debated with the idea of asking her if it would be okay to have the makeup artist airbrush the tattoos the day of the wedding. It would have cost $30 which isn't bad (I would obviously offer to pay). If you are still uncomfortable with the tattoo then I think this is the best way to go about it. You should say it nicely and then offer to pay for the airbrush cost. For me though, after thinking about it for awhile, I decided to let it go and not ask her to cover them up. I don't want to start out on the wrong foot if she were to get offended, and I didn't want any awkward tension. <strong>I told myself if the tattoos stand out in the pictures, I can have my photographer photoshop them out.</strong> And I agree with the PP - some people gave rude and self-righteous responses. Just because some brides were okay with their bridesmaids having full tattoo sleeves doesn't mean that the PP is an awful person for being uncomfortable with it. Honestly, if I had known my fiance's cousin had this tattoo, I would have chosen a dress that covered it up.
Posted by Jimian[/QUOTE]

Just curious, what happens when she sees said pictures and notices she has been photoshopped without you as much as telling her? You dont think that is going to cause hurt feelings?

I have 2 half sleeves, both my shoulders done, a huge peice on my lower back, and both my ankles done. So I am moderately inked and I can say if I saw you photoshopped my ink out of pictures without asking or telling me I would have went postal. Especially if you photoshopped my right sleeve that has some pretty signifigant meaning to me. That would be equal to you photoshopping a heavier girl so she looked thin. You just dont do that to family.

I have however ran into some issue with our church. All of my bridesmaids have a moderate amount of ink. We were asked to cover up. My ladies knew if I was covering up, that it was something important. We are going to try and airbrush our ink for the ceremony but we are taking it off for the reception. I am not sure if the airbrushing is going to work for us, but my MOH and I are going to try since we have the most ink. We may see if we can find shrugs or something reasonably to wear for the ceremony.

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