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Wedding Etiquette Forum
chricove
member
Do I invite potential sister in law/ex best friend?
My FH and I are in debate. His brother is dating my ex best friend. When I introduced them I thought it was a good idea. But my friend and I had a falling out that wasnt on the best of terms. A little tiff between me and her escalated to me AND FH getting dirty looks to the point where a year later my ex friend cant even say a single word or be in the same room as me or my FH.
Our problem is: neither my FH or I like my ex best friend. We have both tried on several occasions to make peace with her by being friendly, inviting her and future BIL to dinner, to numerous rejections. I even called my friend and invited her out to dinner to hash things out, by pointing out that if we (might) become sister in laws, it would be good to make peace so we could be civil. The only response I got was "I have been civil." We dont know what to do!
Future BIL (who used to hang out with me and FH all the time) doesnt speak to me, and rarely speaks to FH on what I assume is the fault of my ex best friend. We dont want to be rude because they have been together for a few years, but future BIL has no intentions of getting married. We just dont want drama at our wedding, and think that if the ex friend is invited, it would be the same dirty looks while we are getting family pictures and she would ruin the good time.
Let me also say that future MIL loves ex best friend and hates me, as well as favoring future BIL, and we think if we dont invite her it would create drama with FH and his family (not that there already isnt a ton.) I think the best thing would be to have FH talk to his brother about it and explain why we dont want her there? Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated!!!
Our problem is: neither my FH or I like my ex best friend. We have both tried on several occasions to make peace with her by being friendly, inviting her and future BIL to dinner, to numerous rejections. I even called my friend and invited her out to dinner to hash things out, by pointing out that if we (might) become sister in laws, it would be good to make peace so we could be civil. The only response I got was "I have been civil." We dont know what to do!
Future BIL (who used to hang out with me and FH all the time) doesnt speak to me, and rarely speaks to FH on what I assume is the fault of my ex best friend. We dont want to be rude because they have been together for a few years, but future BIL has no intentions of getting married. We just dont want drama at our wedding, and think that if the ex friend is invited, it would be the same dirty looks while we are getting family pictures and she would ruin the good time.
Let me also say that future MIL loves ex best friend and hates me, as well as favoring future BIL, and we think if we dont invite her it would create drama with FH and his family (not that there already isnt a ton.) I think the best thing would be to have FH talk to his brother about it and explain why we dont want her there? Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated!!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Do I invite potential sister in law/ex best friend?
[QUOTE]4 glasses of wine + no paragraphs = not able to read wall o' text. So ditto what dnb said is my answer.
Posted by kellyjellybelly[/QUOTE]
Hahaha love it! I'm only 2 glasses in, so it was slightly difficult but I managed!
[QUOTE]My FH and I are in debate. His brother is dating my ex best friend. When I introduced them I thought it was a good idea. But my friend and I had a falling out that wasnt on the best of terms. A little tiff between me and her escalated to me AND FH getting dirty looks to the point where a year later my ex friend cant even say a single word or be in the same room as me or my FH. Our problem is: neither my FH or I like my ex best friend. We have both tried on several occasions to make peace with her by being friendly, inviting her and future BIL to dinner, to numerous rejections. I even called my friend and invited her out to dinner to hash things out, by pointing out that if we (might) become sister in laws, it would be good to make peace so we could be civil. The only response I got was "I have been civil." We dont know what to do! Future BIL (who used to hang out with me and FH all the time) doesnt speak to me, and rarely speaks to FH on what I assume is the fault of my ex best friend. We dont want to be rude because they have been together for a few years, but future BIL has no intentions of getting married. We just dont want drama at our wedding, and think that if the ex friend is invited, it would be the same dirty looks while we are getting family pictures and she would ruin the good time. Let me also say that future MIL loves ex best friend and hates me, as well as favoring future BIL, and we think if we dont invite her it would create drama with FH and his family (not that there already isnt a ton.) I think the best thing would be to have FH talk to his brother about it and explain why we dont want her there? Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated!!!
Posted by chricove[/QUOTE]
Whether you like her or not, your FBIL and his GF are in a long term relationship. This means they are a social unit, and must be invited together.
http://tidetravel.weebly.com/index.html
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[QUOTE]No. You don't need added drama
Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]
But then she is blatantly ignoring the long-term relationship that her FI's brother is in.
Honestly OP you won't even notice she is there unless you make a point of finding her. There were many people at my wedding I barely saw at all.
Yum, tequila.
Posted by chricove
No, the best thing would be to invite his brother and the brother's girlfriend, without any further fuss. If she dislikes you both that much, either she won't come, or she'll come and be a sour puss. If you are gracious and ignore any childish antics she may pull, she will look like the brat, not you.
[QUOTE]Heres another thing, if we do invite her (which we probably will just for the sake of avoiding MORE drama) how do we work pictures? Our big concern was we get family pictures and shes not included so she stands off to the side with a dirty look on her face?
Posted by chricove[/QUOTE]
Take some pictures with her in them, and some without. You don't have to order the prints with her in them.
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I would invite her and then expect her to say no.
[QUOTE]I say invite her because you don't want to get on your fbil bad side. If she trys to make a scene have her escorted out. <strong> Don't look like the bad guy, let her make herself look bad if she starts in.
</strong>Posted by Gismo123[/QUOTE]
People will know who has class and who doesn't.
I agree with PP about the pics, too.