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Wedding Etiquette Forum
lmfrankenberger
member
XP Wording on invitation to forewarn parents
I've seen a lot of post on the subject of inviting or not inviting kids and hope this is different enough to warrant another post. Me and my fiance are regulars at a local bar down the street from us- and we regularly have a really good time. We are inviting about 50-75 family members to the wedding and 50-75 of our friends...whom all enjoy a good party. We are having our wedding at 6:30pm and will follow with a formal dinner - then we will move on to the open full liquor bar portion of the evening and will have karokee starting around 9ish. (And we will be providing a shuttle to the hotel afterwards to discourage any drunk driving)
My Dad's side of the family will enjoy this and will be right there with me and my friends. My Mom's side, however, hardly knows me and I hardly know them... on a personal level at least. My cousins on that side were hit hard with the fertility gene, and many of them have 3,4,5 kids. There was a wedding 20+ years ago where children weren't invited and my Mom and Aunts still to this day talk about how rude that was so even if I really wanted that, it isn't an option ( it was not done in good etiquette AT ALL in their defense). Besides, honestly I welcome kids at the wedding and have no qualms with them being there. My fear,however, is the parents will be mortified when they see what kind of reception it is. Either that or they will be disappointed they didn't realize it was such an adult party and regret not finding a sitter and having a great adult night out.
So my question being - how do I word on the invitation and remain classy - big booze party to follow in order to allow guests to make their own decision based on the that information. And do I write the children's names on the invite, like you normally would or something different? Maybe just xx and family? And I'm certainly not going to fill in the _of X on the RSVP cards. Any ideas??
Thanks!
My Dad's side of the family will enjoy this and will be right there with me and my friends. My Mom's side, however, hardly knows me and I hardly know them... on a personal level at least. My cousins on that side were hit hard with the fertility gene, and many of them have 3,4,5 kids. There was a wedding 20+ years ago where children weren't invited and my Mom and Aunts still to this day talk about how rude that was so even if I really wanted that, it isn't an option ( it was not done in good etiquette AT ALL in their defense). Besides, honestly I welcome kids at the wedding and have no qualms with them being there. My fear,however, is the parents will be mortified when they see what kind of reception it is. Either that or they will be disappointed they didn't realize it was such an adult party and regret not finding a sitter and having a great adult night out.
So my question being - how do I word on the invitation and remain classy - big booze party to follow in order to allow guests to make their own decision based on the that information. And do I write the children's names on the invite, like you normally would or something different? Maybe just xx and family? And I'm certainly not going to fill in the _of X on the RSVP cards. Any ideas??
Thanks!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: XP Wording on invitation to forewarn parents
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most parents of little ones will either leave them home or chew and screw after the meal. hell, i'm an adult with no kids, adn i always leave after dinner at night weddings - its too late for me.
too bad, though, taht you have to invite relatives who dont even know you.
Either way, if they do bring their kids and don't want to stay for the kaorake, they'll just leave after dinner. No big deal. I don't really think you need to say anything on the invitation about the party.
My Mom (and me) are very close with 2 of her sisters (3 more sisters and a brother that don't talk much). I asked my Mom how she wanted to deal with inviting family I hardly knew and she said it would be very nice if I did - so done deal.
All I have to say is you must be planning on having a very short ceremony if you plan on serving dinner at 7 and the ceremony is at 6:30. I realize that not everyone has a long ceremony due to whatever reason, but 30 minutes to get married and traffic 100-150 people to their dinner tables seems to be pretty quick to me.
The kids names definitely go on the invites if they are invited. Never use "and family". If the kids have graduated from high school, they get their own invite - regardless of where they live.
Why would you not fill in the __ of X part of your RSVP cards? It's going to look silly and unfinished if you don't.
Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
[QUOTE] Why would you not fill in the __ of X part of your RSVP cards? It's going to look silly and unfinished if you don't.
Posted by squirrly[/QUOTE]
I took that to mean that she was doing the RSVP cards you do for people you don't believe will bring wedding crashers :). As in, she meant she's not going to do the __ of 2 are attending, meaning...she'll be inviting the kids. I could be wrong though.
Or put the family grapevine to work spreading the news word of mouth that your reception will include drinking, dancing, and karaoke in a bar. The parents will decide whether to bring their children or not.
*You have made sure the venue will allow children, haven't you?