I cannot go to my granny's funeral

missrekaeagle · May 2010

with my unruly edges.

I'm going back to the creamy crack y'all. I really tried to go natural, but there is too much going on in my life right now. I don't know what to do with my hair. I'm not really a fan of braids, so that's not going to work for me. I'm too tenderheaded to be trying to get those anyway.

I just want to thank you ladies who offered all the great tips and websites, especially Tamtam. I just know if I go home looking like this it will stress my mama out even more. She was pissed when my sister went natural and never has anything good to say about it so I'm not going to go home and get embarrassed. Maybe I'll try this natural journey some other time when I figure out how to transition a little better.

mahoganieyes · May 2010

What about a wig or lace front?

Mypasmita · May 2010

Hum, yeah! I tried going natural last year but finally relaxed my hair few weeks ago.

I applaud the ladies who go natural for a purpose. I was just doing it, and when it got too hard, i started questioning my intentions. Come to find out, I had no real reason for going natural, so the trouble wasn't worth it for ME.

I am believing that you can have very healthy hair, natural or not. It's not supposed to be that hard... at least, that's what i keep telling myself.

tyboyd · May 2010

I agree with Pas. My creamy cracked out hair is healthy. I know how to take care of it. {After 2 yrs of cosmetology, I betta know how to take care of my hair!} Right now I just need my ends trimmed and it's killing me!

But what are you gonna do when you're super preggo? I thought you can't get a relaxer at a certain point during pregnancy...?

tamtam7 · May 2010

OMG girl you scared the shyt out of me. I was like...what?! What happened? What does she mean she can't go. That really got my attention! Anyways, no prob on the tips, websites, and advice. You can use them if you should decide to go natural in the future. I know its a tough journey for folks. When I went natural I just went balls to the wall and cut it all off and didn't look back, but for others it really is emotional. I think that what helped is that I moved to a new state and started this whole new life for myself. It was weird though when I was around family. They were just so curious about my hair and had a lot of comments. Most negative. So, I know that it can be a challenge. And the edges...man, I've been wanting to put a relaxer on my edges too. That's the hardest part for me.

PB-Bride2010 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_cannot-grannys-funeral?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:df70c630-746b-4b80-9846-65580c072a14Post:6eec3df3-b4e2-4152-808b-643321fcfe1a">Re: I cannot go to my granny's funeral</a>:
[QUOTE]OMG girl you scared the shyt out of me. I was like...what?! What happened? What does she mean she can't go. That really got my attention! .
Posted by tamtam7[/QUOTE]

Ditto....Yeah....It scared the crap out of me too!!!

ladylum · May 2010

When I was preggo, I did not relax my hair at all. I just washed it, straightened it out with an electric hot comb and greased it. It still looked presentable. The reason I went back to a relaxer though is because I suck at doing hair. That's why I pay someone else to do it.

missrekaeagle · May 2010

Sorry, y'all I didn't mean to scare you. Of course I'm going to my granny's funeral. I guess I should have thought of a better title but I had just woke up from a nap.

@Pasma & Tyonne, I take really good care of my relaxed hair and I keep my ends trimmed.

@mahoganieyes, I think it'll be too hot for me to wear a wig in my outdoor July wedding. Plus, I've never worn a wig before and I'm not trying to start anything else new.

@Tyonne & Traci, on facebook Krystle said that she got relaxers when she was pregnant and her baby was fine. I've had friends get relaxers when they were pregnant and I had some who stopped. When I get really pregnant, I may stop though. It'll depend on how I feel, but for now I can't deal with my half kinky and half straight hair.

All I know is that I have to get a retouch before I go home, so I don't look and feel bad.

eagles347 · May 2010

I have several natural friends that have bone straight hair after they get it professionally straightened. It last them 3-4 weeks on average if they wrap it when they exercise and of course they maintain it by flat-ironing. This is the route I plan to go when I finish transitioning. That or loose curls or twist sets...love the way those look...so free. I guess warm weather makes for an even tougher transition since you aren't really fond of braids.

missrekaeagle · May 2010

@Eagles, my hair stays straight when I get it professionally straightened until I wash it. I don't apply heat to my hair more than twice a month, so I can't maintain it with a flat iron between seeing a professional without just wrapping it. When I wash it myself I don't even blow dry it, I just let it dry naturally because I don't like a lot of heat on my hair. So all of this coupled with the humidity in NC does not make for straight hair right about now. Did I mention the fact that I don't wear my hair curly? lol I'm really picky about my hair becuz I have a big head and certain things make it look bigger. I'm really self-conscious about my head size and my big forehead, although I'm sure I shouldn't be.

desi2002 · May 2010

OMG...isn't it crazy that our hair can mess up our lives? How is it that we are forced to say things like "I got too much going on right now...gimme the creamy crack" like wow... and it is really that serious! Like...I can't go to work with naps! I can't go to the gym, cause I'm gonna mess my hair up... IDK how many times my hair has prevented me from doing stuff! Sorry for the rant, but OMG... when I saw the title of the post, and then the first sentence??? It sent me into overdrive!

DanielleB80 · May 2010

This may be off the subject a little but.... how does getting a relaxer have anything to do with being pregant???

Rhoyal_1 · May 2010

OMG! Girl, I almost spiled my cereal when I saw your post! So glad you're talking about your hair. I have natural hair and have it wash, blowdried, and curled once a week. Depending on the style, I might pincurl it at night. Also, I do not place any heat on my hair during the week. I am currently transitioning from a very short natural (man, I miss my supa short cut) and should try and post pics. The funny thing is, my wedding dress hunting pics turned out to be the "watch my hair grow" chronicles. Should I get around to posting the pics I'll let y'all now.

@Danielle- An old wives tale is one should not have a relaxer or color done when pregnant due to the chemicals. Another tale, don't hold your arms over your head, and don't walk up and down the stairs. I'm sure we can come up with others. BTW- Fromn what I understand, the medical field has not banned relaxers during pregnancy.

missrekaeagle · May 2010

@Desi, after all the stuff I"ve gone through this past month or so, I don't know how in the world my hair was the straw that broke the camel's back. It really doesn't make sense. Maybe I'm using my hair as copout so I don't have to deal with everything else right now. I've literally been on an emotional rollercoaster since right before Easter and I think that turning back to a relaxer may bring some normalcy to my life. I guess it's a control thing because I've felt like a lot of things that have been happening are out of my control. When I tried to go natural, it was like I didn't have control over my hair either.

desi2002 · May 2010

I feel you

happe2gether · May 2010

Wow! So glad to hear this wasn't something really bad. I was beginning to feel bad you weren't able to go to her funeral.
But thankfully - it's something else. I'm mostly natural. I cut mine all off (because I had to) about a year ago. I learned the hard lesson of letting a beautician put in a color and a relaxer at the same time. I didn't know better then but I sure as heck do now. Anywho-- I'm more of the braided type hair chick. I don't know how to really do my hair so that's my alternative. One day I will get my act together and learn a trick or two. My mom was really not happy when she showed up and saw that I had cut all my hair off. My only support was that all 3 of my aunts went natural so at least they had my back. Thankfully it's grown so much but l like the free and natural stuff. I also want to try a lace front but don't know how that would work.

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