S/O honorary bridesmaids and guest book attendants

aragx6 · June 2010

I was catching up on last night's posts and was very sorry I wasn't around with the crazy chick with the 27 BMs.

So I was wondering -- If someone asked you to be their guest book attendant would you feel like you had to accept? Or would you politely decline? Is there anyone who would impolitely decline?

I feel like I live in fear of the day some college friend "bestows this great honor upon me." It ranks right up there with jury duty and dental work.

smore154 · June 2010

I think it's because of my lack of wedding experience- but what on earth is a "Guest Book Attendant"?

danieliza1127 · June 2010

I would find a way to really sweetly decline. I'd probably say something along the lines of how sweet it was for her to think of me but that it's not necessary and I'd be just as honored being a guest and enjoying everything from my seat and with my H, or something.

akhensley81 · June 2010

I think I would have to respectfully decline. Who really wants to babysit a guestbook? I don't get the "honorary" bridesmaid thing either... I skimmed through that post but didn't bother to soak it all in.

Brie2010 · June 2010

I'd probably say yes, stand by the guest book for five minutes, and then go back to my seat.

danieliza1127 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honorary-bridesmaids-guest-book-attendants?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0e7010c6-59f3-4fe9-8389-7a123f81f78aPost:c3ecaa80-a2a1-43f8-970c-a693ff86e71f">Re: S/O honorary bridesmaids and guest book attendants</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's because of my lack of wedding experience- but what on earth is a "Guest Book Attendant"?
Posted by smore154[/QUOTE]

It's the person who stands next to the guest book with a pen and makes sure that everyone signs it. It's really ridiculous and totally unnecessary. Some people think it's a way to involve a friend in the wedding without actually having them in the bridal party.

angie74 · June 2010

what exactly is an honorary bridesmaid? that sounds like more of a BS gig than guestbook attendant.

I would politely decline the GB attendant deal. I like daniele's response

baystateapple · June 2010

Dani's response hit the nail right on the head.

But I've never been asked to be a guest book attendant, and I hope I never receive that particular honor.

Birdie1483 · June 2010

I've been a guest book attendant at a lot of my friend's weddings because I hadn't known the brides as long as the other girls who were in the WP. The brides usually asked us that weren't in the WP to either do the GB, help cut cake, do programs, etc. because they've been informal ceremonies and receptions. So far I haven't minded it that much because we have a big group of girlfriends and everyone can't be in the WP. It was the bride's way of making the rest of us feel included somehow.

So far I've preferred the GB job over others such as cake cutting because I don't really feel like having a job during the reception. Especially after the first wedding I went to where we helped pass out cake to hundreds of guests and were treated like the waitstaff by the other guests, being asked to get this and that and all I wanted to do was pass out my fair portion of the cake and go back to my table with my date.

The only time the GB job has bothered me was the last wedding I did when they had a picture instead of a book that they wanted people to sign and I had to explain to pretty much everyone what it entailed and to not be afraid of the black marker over the gold. I can be social when I want to be, but that morning I just didn't feel like talking to everyone who came in the door.

aragx6 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honorary-bridesmaids-guest-book-attendants?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0e7010c6-59f3-4fe9-8389-7a123f81f78aPost:b7f23c30-7a1f-4074-9265-b46d27ad9b03">Re: S/O honorary bridesmaids and guest book attendants</a>:
[QUOTE]what exactly is an honorary bridesmaid?Posted by angie74[/QUOTE]

They spent a long time trying to figure this out last night. I don't think a conclusion was ever made, but one key component is that an honorary bridesmaid is someone who you don't want to actually have as a BM but since you were a BM in their wedding you have to do something with them

Birdie1483 · June 2010

I'll also add that yes, it's a bogus job but I was going to be given a job in some fashion or another so I picked my poison.

sarah0725 · June 2010

Birdie, you are a more patient woman than I.

I'm really hoping that nobody ever asks me to do something like this, and if they do ask, I will politely decline.

squirrly · June 2010

Oh, I was the guestbook attendant for my childhood best friend when she got married back in 2000. It sucked. I had no clue when it was ok for me to go sit down, but I eventually did, because I felt dumb just standing there.

And, she asked me to do this about 2 days before the wedding. Weird. In the future, I'd opt out as Danielle mentioned, or at the very least abandon my post much earlier.

pumpkinpumpkin · June 2010

I kinda think that if people can't figure out that the guest book is there to sign....well....they're probably idiots.

Although, I can't see why you'd "fear" being asked. Seriously. I still think it would be nice to be asked...but would also decline.

LesPaul · June 2010

Our guests figured out how to sign the guest book all by themselves - without an attendant! Amazing.

I think last night's OP was under the impression that she had to include everyone in her WP for whom she had been a BM in the past. Nice gesture, but 9 BMs (plus several honoraries) is simply too many.

L-Bride · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honorary-bridesmaids-guest-book-attendants?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0e7010c6-59f3-4fe9-8389-7a123f81f78aPost:8290c33d-fc4e-4f33-aef4-8b3b175cd92c">Re: S/O honorary bridesmaids and guest book attendants</a>:
[QUOTE]I've been a guest book attendant at a lot of my friend's weddings because I hadn't known the brides as long as the other girls who were in the WP. The brides usually asked us that weren't in the WP to either do the GB, help cut cake, do programs, etc. because they've been informal ceremonies and receptions. So far I haven't minded it that much because we have a big group of girlfriends and everyone can't be in the WP. It was the bride's way of making the rest of us feel included somehow.So far I've preferred the GB job over others such as cake cutting because I don't really feel like having a job during the reception. Especially after the first wedding I went to where we helped pass out cake to hundreds of guests and were treated like the waitstaff by the other guests, being asked to get this and that and all I wanted to do was pass out my fair portion of the cake and go back to my table with my date. The only time the GB job has bothered me was the last wedding I did when they had a picture instead of a book that they wanted people to sign and I had to explain to pretty much everyone what it entailed and to not be afraid of the black marker over the gold. I can be social when I want to be, but that morning I just didn't feel like talking to everyone who came in the door.
Posted by Birdie1483[/QUOTE]

It was the broke brides way of taking advantage of her nice friends. I would NEVER ask my friends to act as wait staff. How disgusting.

superheroprincess · June 2010

My sister and I were a "guest book attendant" for my cousins wedding . We had to be the first people at the hall for the reception and greet everyone as they came in and explain to them that lieu of a guest book they had a guest picture frame.

Personally I don't think it was that awful, and we only stayed there for about a half hour to an hour as the guests arrived then went to our seats for dinner.

Birdie1483 · June 2010

Yeah the first wedding where we all passed out cake was awesome other than the cake part. I think I remember her telling me a couple weeks ago they ended up inviting like 600 people or something. It was crazy. I think after that wedding the other girls just felt like they needed to include everyone as well because others had.

Like I said, it hasn't really been that bad because usually there are my other friends standing there and we just chit chat and maybe say a word or two and smile at the guests that come in. This past time it was just me standing there all by myself with no one to talk to and I was really tired. Then when I got to my seat, there wasn't much room left in the pew.

It's been nice being included in some fashion, but I wouldn't mind not doing it again.

I've thought about my own wedding and how I probably wont' have that many "jobs" to give out and how I kind of feel guilty since I was "included" in other girls weddings. However, I don't think the girls will really mind.

MattsPenguin · June 2010

I think that if I were asked to do the guest book or something, I'd say yes to be nice. I actually did it for my cousin when I was 16. I did the guest book along with handout the programs and balloons for the exit from the church.

The only "crap job" I plan on doing is having my young cousin (she's 12) hand out programs. I think that she'd actually love it. She's a bubbly little girl who'd be so excited to stand at the front of the church.

quotequeen · June 2010

If explanation is needed, it can be done better with a sign. If the role is to strongarm people into signing who don't really want to, that's just about the last job I would want. I would definitely decline.

superheroprincess · June 2010

I would be annoyed if I had to do it alone or had to spend time during the dance to work but it was before the dinner so not too bad.

Cutting cake sounds like it could be boring if everyone is up dancing and you have to stop having a good time to cut/plate cake.

danieliza1127 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honorary-bridesmaids-guest-book-attendants?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0e7010c6-59f3-4fe9-8389-7a123f81f78aPost:1a56e31f-d04b-440e-bd5c-5d1b8afc1fb3">Re: S/O honorary bridesmaids and guest book attendants</a>:
[QUOTE] Cutting cake sounds like it could be boring if everyone is up dancing and you have to stop having a good time to cut/plate cake.
Posted by superheroprincess[/QUOTE]

Not to mention it's a huge mess! I helped my ex-SIL cut and serve the cake at my neice's wedding and it was a big messy deal. We had cake everywhere. I knew right away that I wasn't doing that to anyone at my own wedding.

Birdie1483 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honorary-bridesmaids-guest-book-attendants?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0e7010c6-59f3-4fe9-8389-7a123f81f78aPost:1a56e31f-d04b-440e-bd5c-5d1b8afc1fb3">Re: S/O honorary bridesmaids and guest book attendants</a>:
[QUOTE]I would be annoyed if I had to do it alone or had to spend time during the dance to work but it was before the dinner so not too bad. Cutting cake sounds like it could be boring if everyone is up dancing and you have to stop having a good time to cut/plate cake.
Posted by superheroprincess[/QUOTE]

Yeah luckily I have great girlfriends and even if some aren't given the "job" they'll still go up and help the girls who were. I, however, am not that good of a person! :) I'm usually getting my dance on around that point.

I will also add the first time I was asked to do something, I had just started hanging out with this group of girls who had been friends for years. I was just honored that they would like me enough to include me. They may be crappy jobs, but I'd feel worse being the only girl out of 15-16 that didn't have something to do.

aragx6 · June 2010

The cake cutting thing really sounds to me like something a vendor should be doing, not a guest. I would definitely decline that.

But I could see myself, if it was an old friend who I had once been closer to, saying yes to the guest book if asked simply because I wouldn't want to hurt her feelings.

JoyTate1 · June 2010

I had a girl ask ME if she could be our guest book attendant. I just stared at her blankly. I think she really just wants to be included because the 2 friends we have in common are bridesmaids. I told her she should come hang out with us and drink champagne before instead.

mwhitson14 · June 2010

A girl I know is having 3 honorary bridesmaids. I asked her WTF they were, and she said they were going to match the WP but not be required to buy something paticular. They get corsages and sit in the front row. I was like, mmkay.

smore154 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honorary-bridesmaids-guest-book-attendants?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0e7010c6-59f3-4fe9-8389-7a123f81f78aPost:660da636-e19a-4bd0-baa6-7ac65cc9991b">Re: S/O honorary bridesmaids and guest book attendants</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: S/O honorary bridesmaids and guest book attendants : It's the person who stands next to the guest book with a pen and makes sure that everyone signs it. It's really ridiculous and totally unnecessary. Some people think it's a way to involve a friend in the wedding without actually having them in the bridal party.
Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

Ah- thank you so much. I figured as such but wanted to be sure. I have never been to a wedding where someone did that and I certainly wouldn't ask anyone to do that horrid task!!!

Birdie1483 · June 2010

I think I would feel worse being an honorary bridesmaid to one of my friends than just being a guest. It would be like pointing out the fact that they didn't want to include me in the actual wedding..... Like I'd have a big sign on my forehead.

SparrowSong · June 2010

I was a guest book attendant once. I think I did a horrible job. I was like 19, had only been to 2 or 3 wedding, and one was at the Little White Chapel in Vegas, so that hardly counted as a model of wedding traditions.

Anyway, they were using a picture mat to put around their wedding photo. So I was supposed to tell guests what the purpose was. Some little girl came up and asked if she could sign. So I said sure, knock yourself out. How did I know she had the worst gigantic I'm-just-now-learning-cursive handwriting ever? She took up a large portion of the frame. They never displayed the frame in their house once they got their pictures back.

Oops. I guess my job was to stop stuff like that from happening.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honorary-bridesmaids-guest-book-attendants?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0e7010c6-59f3-4fe9-8389-7a123f81f78aPost:269efc32-0ef6-4d6e-93d1-735774b6b8a8">Re: S/O honorary bridesmaids and guest book attendants</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd probably say yes, stand by the guest book for five minutes, and then go back to my seat.
Posted by Brie2010[/QUOTE]

This. I'm sure I'd do a crappy job because I'd be bored and... well, as I saw someone write here once, it's a job that a sign can do.

chuygrl77 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honorary-bridesmaids-guest-book-attendants?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0e7010c6-59f3-4fe9-8389-7a123f81f78aPost:882f0f6d-a7a1-437d-8097-a5961b87f70a">Re: S/O honorary bridesmaids and guest book attendants</a>:
[QUOTE]I was a guest book attendant once. I think I did a horrible job. I was like 19, had only been to 2 or 3 wedding, and one was at the Little White Chapel in Vegas, so that hardly counted as a model of wedding traditions. Anyway, they were using a picture mat to put around their wedding photo. So I was supposed to tell guests what the purpose was. Some little girl came up and asked if she could sign. So I said sure, knock yourself out. How did I know she had the worst gigantic I'm-just-now-learning-cursive handwriting ever? She took up a large portion of the frame. They never displayed the frame in their house once they got their pictures back. Oops. I guess my job was too stop stuff like that from happening.
Posted by SparrowSong[/QUOTE]

That is too hilarious!

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