Just Engaged and Proposals

The pre-engaged Bridezilla..

My fiance and I had been dating for over two years when we got engaged last November.  Its been very exciting (and dramatic) talking about possibilities for our wedding.  We are really looking forward to it.  I recently made really good friends with someone that has been a friend of his family for a really long time.  Everything has been great. We hang out a lot and have been going on cute double dates and everything. Lately though she has seemingly been planning her wedding along with mine.  She is constantly talking about what she would want when we look at dresses, colors, ect....She is even going as far as accusing me of "stealing her ideas".  Her and her guy are getting very serious (not engaged yet) and I am very happy for them, but its kindof erking me that she thinks we should be planning her wedding.  Not to mention they havn't been dating for that long......its making me crazy!  I was thinking about asking her to be a bridesmaid since we have a really good relationship, but I am not sure if I can deal with planning her wedding right now too!! I don't want any bride wars! Not my scene!! What shoud I do? Should I say something to her or am I just being unreasonable?

Re: The pre-engaged Bridezilla..

  • Don't talk wedding with her. If she brings up ideas, just say "That is a nice idea. Oh, I just saw a really cute movie. Have you seen it?"

    Planning Bio
    Married 9/15/11

    *This is Not Legal Advice*
  • You have a long way to go so don't ask anyone until about 6-9 months out like PP said.

    Also, my bf who is also one of my BM's got engaged 2 months after me and it has been great having someone to share the same excitement that I have.  Not once, have I ever felt that I couldn't do this with her just b/c I am planning my wedding at the same time.  Please don't think that she is going be "stealing your wedding thunder" b/c that is just silly.

    What exactly would you say to her to begin with?  She isn't engaged yet so that's out of the picture.  You haven't asked her yet, so that should be out of the picture too.

    More than likely she is very excited for you and is hoping that her engagement day is coming soon too.  Cut her a little bit of slack and I wouldn't say anything right now.  You have a long ways to go and she isn't even engaged yet so this is a moot point IMO.


  • Next time, ask her "so have you looked at rings or set a date to get engaged?" and she'll stop--tell her it's "bad luck" to talk about that stuff till she's engaged herself.
  • (she probably admires you and is envious on some level, or trying to find something in common)

  • I think OBX2011 is spot on in her thinking.
    I am not yet engaged...no ring but my boyfriend and I are already talking planning in vauge ways. We know the date we want (12/7/12), the colors, the mood and we know we'd like a small party. But we are waiting for a proper engagement until I am about six months away from finish my degree and he is more settled in his career field.  For us it's not a matter of if only when.(maybe they are doing something similar)
    I think your friend is excited about your big day and is probably looking for common ground. Plus she is probably excited about her possible upcoming engagment. (I know I am) Cut her a little slack. Maybe talk to her about the "stealing her idea thing" but other than that enjoy having someone who is as interested in all the wedding stuff as you are.
    And wait ,like all the other girls said, 6-9 months to pick BM.

    Oh and Congrats!!!Smile
  • Thanks for the help you guys. Lots of good ideas!
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