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Cant take it anymore....

lashanda1lashanda1 member
10 Comments
in Michigan-Detroit
I had a stupid long rant typed when some ad for a tote bag destroyed my post....
Long story short...

Getting a house in suburbs I hate with man I love being brokered by the most insanely incompetent mortgage broker ever and if my FH says its gonna be okay one more time I may divorce him...Innocent(kidding)

loan appoved ...... 3 weeks for apprasial to get done when it should have taken one.. MB went on early vacation for labor day instead of calling us back like she promised and FH found her cell phone number on bank website and called her ( SKANK) ... loan still approved ...closing on September  10th.... loan declined.. get loan reapproved MB says  will be done by 17th... call on 17th at 2.30 leave VM... ( this is normal she never call back or calls with updates and no wont answer FH calls when he calls her work cell) Call her again @ 445 " oh i was just about to call you ( LIAR!!!!) ... call today @twice and sent to emails.. now wont talk to me only FH cause i am gonna rip her a new one when i do..so per FH... we just need one more thing and thats it... ( mad at FH for no reason except that i never wanted to buy a house in the first place and i hate the burbs with a passion)

Cant do any wedding planning until this house cr@p is done and I am getting married in 7 months if i dont have a heart attack... or commit myself first Sealed. BAck aches, cant lose weight .. intestinal upsets and headaches abound. I really just want to chuck it all....FH and house at this point... they can be happy togetherFrown
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Re: Cant take it anymore....

  • sammichelesammichele
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry that you're having such a hard time!  I really don't have any advice to give, just know that I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers that things will start turning around for you!
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  • July032011July032011
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I second what she said! Good Luck!
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  • lashanda1lashanda1 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I appreciate that... i guess i just needed to rant a little... I also did a 5 mile runCry( thats me sweating not crying)
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  • July032011July032011
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    lol Great Job! That had to make you feel better..... however I am sure that would have made me feel worse! I would have went for icecream!
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  • corinne2010corinne2010
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I guess you did need to rant...

    But my questions are: why are you calling your MB a skank? Because she went on vacation? If you were having that many problems that early on, I would have looked elsewhere for a MB. As much work as it is, it would definitely be worth it. Early on in our home buying experience, our MB was not returning my calls or e-mails and I was not going to be ok with that throughout the entire process. So I went somewhere else.

    How long has this process been going on? Sometimes it takes months for short sales/foreclosures to go through. With the whole lack of communication coming from your MB aside, I would say this time frame is normal.

    Just to give you an idea, we put an offer in on a house in April, was accepted by the beginning of May and we had 4 different closing dates. We finally closed the first week in June. And I got married 2 months later. It's definitely doable and you just need to breathe.

    Also, why did you purchase a home in the suburbs if you didn't even want to? What suburb are you moving to? And what do you have against them (I'm just curious)?
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  • lashanda1lashanda1 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Cant take it anymore....:
    [QUOTE]I guess you did need to rant... But my questions are: why are you calling your MB a skank? Because she went on vacation? 
    No everyone is entitled to a vacation but when you say...'I will call you on Friday' then dont.. and my FH has to call the bank to find out you are not there ..but left at 1230pm then calls you work cell, which is listed on the bankweb site BTW, and you anwser with a " ooohhhhhh , Hiiiiiii I was just gonna call you" . and now you dont anwser your phone... you are a skank. 

    With the whole lack of communication coming from your MB aside, I would say this time frame is normal. Just to give you an idea, we put an offer in on a house in April, was accepted by the beginning of May and we had 4 different closing dates. We finally closed the first week in June
    thats fine for you and if it was normal i have no problem , however i find that unacceptable. especially when it is due to the "I miscalculated" of the MB.I am not one of those people who can multitask.. I work full time go to school and am a volunteer teacher ..I organize and the fact that my wedding plans are waiting on the whims of another is extremely distasteful.

    Also, why did you purchase a home in the suburbs if you didn't even want to? FH wanted to and I dont mind them for some stuff ,I am just allergic to the mini van driving soccer moms that infest them ( pick at me later for that ) I have always lived in cites.Plus my FH sails so he wanted access to a marina/keep his boat slip

     What suburb are you moving to? Grosse Pointe Farms

     And what do you have against them (I'm just curious)? I just dont like the concept of them, developed in the forties and fifties after the second world war (outdated) . The encroaching on wildlife and then being surprised your little frou-frou got eaten by a coyote ( i have a shih tzu and this is more a western suburbs thing i think) , 2 car garage and 1.75 children and whats the best pre school for my as yet embryonic child thing.... i dont mind the Pointes(house wise) so much because they used to be part of Detroit (as per architecture) and they are more of the older homes that i like.
    Posted by corinne2010[/QUOTE]
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  • GwenwhyfareGwenwhyfare member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    While I don't know what you're going through (yet), but if you're making yourself sick with worry you really need to take a deep breathe and relax. Any kind of large purchase is going to take some time. Would you rather rush through the process and have mistake made, or go the standard route and get it done right?

    I do agree that it is rude to not return phone calls/e-mails if there has been an expectation to. Communication can either make or break a business relationship, I would have probably found someone else as well.

    I'm not even going to comment on the "burbs" bit -- to each their own I guess.
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  • Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011

    Calm down. It will be fine. I know it's hard to move somewhere you really don't want to...........I grew up on the west side of Detroit near Northland.......because my parents moved to Clinton Twp in their 60's, and I'm an only child, I had to become an "east sider", LOL to be closer to them. But, I got a great house for the price (older home), that has appreciated in value since I bought it 16 years ago.

    I know it's hard to leave the big city and the life you love. But honestly, it's just geography, if you are a big city gal, it never leaves you.


    As for mortgage "timelines", ughhhhhh. I refinanced early last year, and had at least 4 closing dates. And that was a RE-finance with the same company I already had my mortgage with! They had 14 years of history with me, never paying late, etc. It's a sign of the times, and sadly, you are a current victim.


    It will all come together. Breathe deeply and relax.

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  • lisa89760lisa89760 member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011

    The whole house buying process is probably the most frustrating thing I've ever been through.  If it makes you feel better, I actually got to my closing and the bank (I was buying a foreclosure) told me and my mortgage broker that the deal was not legal and I couldn't buy the house without bringing thousands of dollars more to closing!  This is all while all my stuff sat in a moving truck and I had plane tickets to go to Myrtle Beach the next morning.  (I also had 3-4 different closing dates)  So...as frustrating as this is...it's completely normal in the house buying process.  You just have to breathe and smile and it will all be over soon...and you'll have a brand new house =)

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  • Julz629Julz629 member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011

    I think the word for your MB might be "unreliable" -- not "skank." 

    And it's probably too late now, but you really should have made a switch up front when she was bad from the get-go.  This house is likely to be the biggest and most important purchase that you and your FI are going to make and you should feel comfortable with the person who is handling that for you.  It's too late to drop her completely, but maybe you could follow up with her manager regarding concerns and possibly be switched to another banker.

    Also, I can't help but be offended by your obvious stereotypes about the suburbs.  As someone who grew up in, and continues to live in the suburbs, your comments are awfully judgmental and not entirely true.  So with that being said, I think I will refrain from commenting further...

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  • corinne2010corinne2010
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://detroit.weddings.com/main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_cant-anymore?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:229e2426-a81a-449a-bf5f-965bb58c60fePost:5c6df69e-973a-4f5e-b606-e00021bdcd90">Re: Cant take it anymore....</a>:
    [QUOTE] Also, I can't help but be offended by your obvious stereotypes about the suburbs.  As someone who grew up in, and continues to live in the suburbs, your comments are awfully judgmental and not entirely true.  So with that being said, I think I will refrain from commenting further...
    Posted by jholbel[/QUOTE]

    THIS!
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  • mybestfriendsfuturemrsmybestfriendsfuturemrs member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_cant-anymore?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:229e2426-a81a-449a-bf5f-965bb58c60fePost:5e54594c-50a1-4664-8e45-d6196dd199ff">Re: Cant take it anymore....</a>:
    [QUOTE]Also, I can't help but be offended by your obvious stereotypes about the suburbs.  As someone who grew up in, and continues to live in the suburbs, your comments are awfully judgmental and not entirely true.  So with that being said, I think I will refrain from commenting further...
    In Response to Re: Cant take it anymore.... : THIS!
    Posted by corinne2010[/QUOTE]

    EXACTLY!
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  • lashanda1lashanda1 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011

    It was meant with sarscasm .. doesnt translate I guess. I am sure i wil like it eventually and be drawn into the 1.75 kids myself someday.... Im aware they are stereotypes just not my bag and i stand by my judgemental-ly-ness we are all offended by something...  and  i stand by "skank"... NY and Chicago are where i grew up... 

    Anyway..sent screen prints of all balances etc... get another email asking " I still need the print out from the actual bank with the bank stamp on it signed by the teller" WTF!!!!!!!  Im glad at least to know I am not alone in my frustration. I guess I have to keep looking forward to the end result of a home with the man of my reality.....

    and shopping loll...anyway thanks for your experiences ..its nice to know i am not the only one.....

     

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  • lashanda1lashanda1 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_cant-anymore?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:229e2426-a81a-449a-bf5f-965bb58c60fePost:5e54594c-50a1-4664-8e45-d6196dd199ff">Re: Cant take it anymore....</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cant take it anymore.... : THIS!
    Posted by corinne2010[/QUOTE]


    Well.. ask and you shall recieve.. lol
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  • GwenwhyfareGwenwhyfare member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You're right, your sarcasm did not come through in your post. Your excessive use of exclamation points and your last statement of " I really just want to chuck it all....FH and house at this point..." reads to me that you were being serious.

    In regards to your other statement about New York and Chicago -- I'm sorry, but your geographic location doesn't excuse calling someone a skank. I lived in New York for three years and wouldn't say use of that word is of the "norm".
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  • mybestfriendsfuturemrsmybestfriendsfuturemrs member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    The process of buying a house is very nerve racking. FI and I have only been looking for a little while now. I have stressed myself so much that I have a cold sore now. I used to do mortgages at a bank, so her saying that you need statements stamped from the bank teller is normal and not that big of a deal. They just want to make sure that they were not altered. In this day and age with people having the ability to copy, photoshop, etc they're just trying to cover their butts.  In the end, you should just try to relax and be glad that your FI wants to share the rest of his life with you and you are fortunate enough to be able to afford a house in a nice neighborhood.  Give it time, maybe it will grow on you.  We're not all soccer moms with kids driving mini vans, but we also won't pull a gun out on you either.
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  • corinne2010corinne2010
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_cant-anymore?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:229e2426-a81a-449a-bf5f-965bb58c60fePost:2065b96d-e192-41dc-a2dd-2032a1f165d3">Re: Cant take it anymore....</a>:
    [QUOTE]Anyway..sent screen prints of all balances etc... get another email asking " I still need the print out from the actual bank with the bank stamp on it signed by the teller" WTF!!!!!!!  Im glad at least to know I am not alone in my frustration. I guess I have to keep looking forward to the end result of a home with the man of my reality..... and shopping loll...anyway thanks for your experiences ..its nice to know i am not the only one.....  
    Posted by lashanda1[/QUOTE]

    I did not think that process would end. If it wasn't one thing, it was another. If you're going to print out bank statements, it needs to have your full account number, name and address. And if you're getting one at the bank, they need to stamp it. That is the worst part. Having to get documents to back up everything. I don't know if you have student loans, but that was the worst for me because the loan company I pay now is so hard to get a hold of. And when I do, it's someone that doesn't speak a lick of english. I had to go back and forth with them quite a few times just to prove my loans were in deferrment while I'm still in school. That has got to be the most exhausting part though. Once you get through that, it should be smooth sailing (provided you have a good MB).
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