Hi everyone,
I hope I'm asking this question on the right board.
My fiance and I are planning a Destination Wedding in Maui (we live in TX). We want to keep it small and intimate. We both have extremely large extended families (whom most of which we only see at weddings and funerals). We decided that we didn't want to spend our entire day greeting people we never talk to, so we would use this opportunity to visit Hawaii again, but with our immediate family and closest friends.
That being said, I am the oldest child, and oldest grandchild on my mother's side of the family. They want to make a huge deal out of this wedding. My mom is planning to throw me a bridal shower and my grandmother's house so she can show me off to these relatives we see once a year (if that). Is it appropriate to invite guests to a bridal shower and not the actual wedding?
Another question I have along the same lines: My mom has been telling everyone that we are going to Hawaii to be married, and quite a few people have responded with "I love Hawaii, I will be there"
I find this horrifying! I would never invite myself to someone's wedding!!! I told my mom that it is far to expensive to have all of these people come to the wedding. Her response was, "if they pay for their hotel and arifare themselves what's the problem?" The problem is that I need to shuttle people to the beach and back, we are planning dinner after the ceremony (like a reception, but not quite) the dinner is approx $100plus per person. Also, we want to take our guests to a luau the night we arrive to thank everyone for making the long trip (that's $120 a person) and a farewell brunch (don't know how much that will cost), plus welcome bags. So each guest adds close to $300!!! I don't want to think of my guests in terms of dollar signs, but I don't want this getting out of control. How do I tell people they aren't invited if they offer to pay "their own way"?
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