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HELP!!! I made a HUGE mistake....

smittenwithwolfysmittenwithwolfy
First Comment
in Moms and Maids
Here's my dilema...I am having a super small wedding party- 2 people.  My side consists of his sister and my maid of honor.  The problem is that I was debating between 2 people and got very drunk while celebrating with 1 of the 2 I was going between, so I asked her to be my MOH.  However, I would say we only talk once every month or two tops.  I ask her to lunch or for a day trip to a different town, or just to get together.  I don't talk a lot of wedding stuff with her simply because I know her relationship isn't as trouble free as mine is.  The bottom line is I picked the wrong person.  The other girl has been my friend for about 20 years and we still go for lunch and chat and text, don't see each other a lot but definately have more contact.  She's the one I go to for things that happen in my life...how horrible is it that I want to change my MOH.  I recently ran into a different friend who told me to just tell girl #1 that our lives have changed and we're really not that close.  Is that okay to do?  Please help!
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Re: HELP!!! I made a HUGE mistake....

  • vicki0508vicki0508 member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I say leave it as it is.  You could "promote" the other BM to co-MOH, but definitely let your current MOH know it's because of how close you are with other BM, not because you think your current MOH is doing something wrong.
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  • smittenwithwolfysmittenwithwolfy
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I kind of figured I was stuck, the girl who I should have asked isn't a bridesmaid, that's part of my problem....the other bridesmaid is his little sister.  As far as ending the friendship-at this point there isn't a really a friendship to end.

    As for me having a drinking problem...I have maybe 20 drinks a year-that includes wine with dinner, i don't think that's a "problem".  I bartended for years and having watched people blow their lives or completely lose control of themselves disgusts me.  The only reason I said I was drunk was so that you would understand asking wasn't a huge thought out process and if you had read all of it before judging me you would have read I was celebrating....what I was celebrating was her getting engaged that day, which was st. pat's day, since i helped her now fiance pull it off.  so I was very caught up in the moment of all sorts of happy engagements.  Also, me getting drunk was after maybe 3 drinks, because I drink so infrequently.  these posts are supposed to be there to help people, not to get on a soapbox.  you're not helpful at all. 
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  • redheadtmkredheadtmk member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I have to say your Op sounds like you were wasted. It did not mention St.Pats day, only 3 drinks or what you were celebrating. Saying you were drunk from celebrating sounds like you were totally trashed. It can be totally annoying but you should always re-read what you post to make sure it comes across as you meant it to....if you do not want people responding harshly etc.

    As for  your question, at this point I would have two MOH's. Unless you really are truly over the friendship of the first girl and willing to cut her loose by demoting her.
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    As an adult, you are responsible for your own behavior, drunk or not.

    There's no polite way to demote your friend from the MOH position. You could leave things as they are or have two MOH. And if you want to ask the fourth friend to be in your wedding party, do it. It's also not a good idea to be discussing this 'problem' with your friends. Your MOH feelings will be hurt if it gets back to her.
                       
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  • ashlidieashlidie member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Whew, tough crowd...

    I think you can nix the idea of having symmetric sides and just have the sister, maid of honor, and the other one (the one you really wanted) be matron of honor (so 3 instead of 2).  I think you are stuck, but can give them each a different title to feel special.  Just be flexible on this one, we all make "whoopsies" and things never go as originally planned!
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  • quiggels219quiggels219
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Who cares if she was wasted?? I think most people have had a few too many and said/done something dumb - if you have never had a few too many ever and got caught up in the moment then maybe you need to loosen up some cause you don't sound too fun to me. As for the girl - you are kinda stuck - sorry - id just promote the other girl and have two. This kinda happened to me too but I only told a girl she could read a poem. I'm hoping she doesn't remember. If she does she's co-reading it with my law school roommate - on that note was she drunk enough to not remember?? Then you'd be golden!
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