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Moms and Maids
MIL= Monster In Law
I read SO many crazy future MIL posts on TK.
What's YOUR worst, hair pulling moment with your MIL/ Future MIL?? Whether it had to do with Wedding Planning, or not!!
Mine always has to do with how I treat her Baby Boy. She's always questioning him about our relationship, if I make him dinner every night, if I do his laundary, keep the house clean, etc. Once, she even asked me if I put his socks on every morning for him....ha! She's constantly critisizing my "wife" ability. But after 6 years of dating her darling son, I've learned to get over it and just keep any responses to myself. 
I guess you have to love them to pieces, no matter what!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: MIL= Monster In Law
[QUOTE]I read SO many crazy future MIL posts on TK. What's YOUR worst, hair pulling moment with your MIL/ Future MIL?? Whether it had to do with Wedding Planning, or not!! Mine always has to do with how I treat her Baby Boy. She's always questioning him about our relationship, if I make him dinner every night, if I do his laundary, keep the house clean, etc. Once, she even asked me if I put his socks on every morning for him....ha! She's constantly critisizing my "wife" ability. But after 6 years of dating her darling son, I've learned to get over it and just keep any responses to myself. I guess you have to love them to pieces, no matter what!
Posted by santana9505[/QUOTE]
Sounds like your FI is a Mama's boy and needs to say something to her. Essentially he's letting her treat you like that.
I agree he's been a Momma's boy forever but he's said many things to her in my defense. But anymore, I just let it go, mainly because it causes tension. And that's the last thing I need while planning a wedding with her son.
AKA GoodLuckBear14
When my husband and I were married 34 years ago - we looked forward to sleeping in on lazy Saturday mornings, after rushing to work all week. My MIL suspected we were 'lollygagging,' so she started calling us at 8am, Saturday to make sure we didn't sleep the day away. Finally, fed up with her intrusiveness, I answered the phone on the 3rd or 4th weekend. She asked the usual question in her shrill voice, "ARE YOU STILL IN BED - SLEEPING! !??"
I answered in a meaningful tone, " We're still in bed, but we weren't sleeping." She didn't know what to say. My husband was mortified. I avoided her for a few weeks until I could look her in the eyes again. But she never called us on a weekend before noon, after that.
I eventually found that my MIL had a good side, too. She was generous, faithful and had unending patience with her grandchildren. She accepted me somewhere along the way, in spite of my shortcomings ; )
She probably drives me crazy when he is too nice to her grandkids. She will let them eat snacks whenever they want (cookies, candy, chips) and then of course they don't eat their dinner. Even when their mom (her daughter) says to please don't give them this or tells the kids no, they wait till it's grandma around and get it. Oh and giving jellybeans for breakfast was probably the worst.
I know that grandparents are supposed to spoil the kids but not like this. I have told FI when we have kids this cannot happen. Just drives me crazy when I see them walking around with their bags of candy that grandma gave them at 8 am.
Thanks for letting me vent, she is visiting this weekend and I'm not sure how to get through it.
1) She isn't the smartest lady. Sometimes I feel like its easier to talk to my boss's 7 year old than my FMIL. She was very troubled when her blond, blue eyed friend married an African immigrant. She didn't understand what their children would look like, and asked me if they would have dark skin and blond hair? Or dark hair and skin and blue eyes? When I explained to her typically what biracial children look like, she didn't understand how that was possible.
2) Her motto in life should be "Oh they won't mind!" She applies this to everything. She invites herself to things, walks into ours or FSIL's apartments without knocking or calling first (her justification for that is "Im your mother, I shouldnt have to ask to come over!"). She called me at work yesterday simply to tell me there is a cat at the SPCA who looks like mine, and that it might be a sister. My FI told me she used to invite herself to pool parties his friends would hold when they were kids, simply so she could go in the pool, because in her eyes, the parents and invited guests "wouldnt mind."
3) She is extremely selfish. When FI lived at home still, we were forbidden from eating any food in the house because it was "the family's." So we would get something and bring it there to eat. She would then come in, ask where her portion was, and then say we couldnt bring anything in unless we brought enough for everyone. As I posted in the "pre wedding parties" board, she refuses to help her own daughter with wedding plans because she feels if she didn't get help, no one should.
But all this is MILD compared to some of the stuff you all have posted!!!!!
[QUOTE]My FMIL has a few flaws I could really do without. 1) She isn't the smartest lady. Sometimes I feel like its easier to talk to my boss's 7 year old than my FMIL. She was very troubled when her blond, blue eyed friend married an African immigrant. She didn't understand what their children would look like, and asked me if they would have dark skin and blond hair? Or dark hair and skin and blue eyes? When I explained to her typically what biracial children look like, she didn't understand how that was possible. 2) Her motto in life should be "Oh they won't mind!" She applies this to everything. She invites herself to things, walks into ours or FSIL's apartments without knocking or calling first (her justification for that is "Im your mother, I shouldnt have to ask to come over!"). She called me at work yesterday simply to tell me there is a cat at the SPCA who looks like mine, and that it might be a sister. My FI told me she used to invite herself to pool parties his friends would hold when they were kids, simply so she could go in the pool, because in her eyes, the parents and invited guests "wouldnt mind." 3) She is extremely selfish. When FI lived at home still, we were forbidden from eating any food in the house because it was "the family's." So we would get something and bring it there to eat. She would then come in, ask where her portion was, and then say we couldnt bring anything in unless we brought enough for everyone. As I posted in the "pre wedding parties" board, she refuses to help her own daughter with wedding plans because she feels if she didn't get help, no one should. But all this is MILD compared to some of the stuff you all have posted!!!!!
Posted by CowgirlK39[/QUOTE]
Cowgirl, I commend you on your ability to put up with this lady. I would have such a hard time not saying anything! Especially #3. That would drive me crazy. I can't believe she would be so selfish! You are a much bigger person than me.
I have vented on this board so much aot my FMIL so ill try to bullet this.
1. She is lazy. And she tries to pretend she isn't lazy and says shes "laid back". I went there for xmas with fi (we traveled cross country to get there) and I showed up in my xmas dress all ready to sit down to dinner. And she said we could help ourself to make a ham sandiwch cuz she was "too laid back" to make a Christmas dinner. Or clean for that matter...which leads me to #2.
2. she's filthy. Like not clean or neat. but like filthy. Her motto is" my home isn't clean but it's filled with love". There is uncleaned up dog feces in their home. Enough said. I refuse to go there now. and for that leads me to number 3.
3. She thinks im "the uptight rich bitch that stole her son." I am neither rich, nor I hope a bitch. I am a tad uptight yes, I am a bit type A, yea ok. But, I did not "steal your son" and move him cross country. He had legs, and a car- he drove himself. I didn't throw him in thee pack of a truck with a paperbag over his head and drive him to an unknown land.
4. She never calls Fiance. Ever. He thinks she doesn't care. If she does call its to talk about how horrible his dad is, how his brother needs to move out, or how she needs more money for cigarettes.
The ultimate thing that bothered me about both my inlaws. We went to Las Vegas to "meet them half way" (aka 3/4of the way for us 1/4 at best for them). To visit with them. We arrived and they waited for us to give our credit card at check in. Apparently we were paying for their hotel ? The check came at dinner, they didn't so much as REACH for their wallets. I grew up in a home where my parents still treat us to dinner, and offer us moeny for things- becuase its very traditional to do. I know not everyone grew up that way, and I am fortunate to have parents like that. But I also didn't know that FI and I were his parents ATM.
167 Invited
[QUOTE] But, I did not "steal your son" and move him cross country. He had legs, and a car- he drove himself. I didn't throw him in thee pack of a truck with a paperbag over his head and drive him to an unknown land.
Posted by i2012do[/QUOTE]
Ooh, you're a funny one.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: MIL= Monster In Law : Cowgirl, I commend you on your ability to put up with this lady. I would have such a hard time not saying anything! Especially #3. That would drive me crazy. I can't believe she would be so selfish! You are a much bigger person than me.
Posted by LittleMissCutiePie[/QUOTE]
I almost lost it last week when she made some comments about our wedding reception location (she isnt paying for a single thing and she suggested a much more expensive option). But.... I maintain my sanity in all situations by smiling, nodding and saying "Oh yeah.... uh huh." My FI tends to flip out at her though, which makes her cause a scene.
Ahh MILs..... always a great topic. Hahah.
[QUOTE]My FMIL has a few flaws I could really do without. 1) She isn't the smartest lady. Sometimes I feel like its easier to talk to my boss's 7 year old than my FMIL. She was very troubled when her blond, blue eyed friend married an African immigrant. She didn't understand what their children would look like, and asked me if they would have dark skin and blond hair? Or dark hair and skin and blue eyes? When I explained to her typically what biracial children look like, she didn't understand how that was possible. 2) Her motto in life should be "Oh they won't mind!" She applies this to everything. She invites herself to things, walks into ours or FSIL's apartments without knocking or calling first (her justification for that is "Im your mother, I shouldnt have to ask to come over!"). <strong><u>She called me at work yesterday simply to tell me there is a cat at the SPCA who looks like mine, and that it might be a sister.</u></strong> My FI told me she used to invite herself to pool parties his friends would hold when they were kids, simply so she could go in the pool, because in her eyes, the parents and invited guests "wouldnt mind." 3) She is extremely selfish. When FI lived at home still, we were forbidden from eating any food in the house because it was "the family's." So we would get something and bring it there to eat. She would then come in, ask where her portion was, and then say we couldnt bring anything in unless we brought enough for everyone. As I posted in the "pre wedding parties" board, she refuses to help her own daughter with wedding plans because she feels if she didn't get help, no one should. But all this is MILD compared to some of the stuff you all have posted!!!!!
Posted by CowgirlK39[/QUOTE]
I just cracking up at my desk at this. Everyone thinks I'm crazy now <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-yell.gif" border="0" alt="Yell" title="Yell" />
I will say that I was with someone for two years before and I could not stand his mother. I loathe her to this day. She is a know it all, who doesn't actually know a thing. My blood pressure is rising just thinking about her!!!
[QUOTE]Lets see....this weekend I invited her to come to an appointment with a florist and at the end of the appointment she says, "so this is really happening, huh?" this is not the first remark she has made incinuating she doesn't believe (or hopes) we won't actually get married. This is after she talked about his ex the entire way to the appointment!! ugh!!!!
Posted by maribeth721[/QUOTE]
Please tell me you are putting your foot down and not including her in any more of your wedding appointments?