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How do you handle co-workers going through a tough time?

zsazsa-stlzsazsa-stl member
Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes

I have a lot of things due at the end of this week and I need pieces from a co-worker who had some bad stuff go down this weekend.  His house was vandalized and received threatening messages, so he has reason to be spooked.  And now I think he is going round after round with the police and his insurance company.  I sent him a big stack of requests (that for the record should not be news to him, just reminders that our deadline is quickly approaching) and he replied with "I don't know if I'll be able to finish any of this, I just have a lot on my mind right now."

Am I wrong that if he is unable to work because of what is going on that he should take vacation days?  I'm constantly feeling like this heartless b!tch because I'm one of the few people in my office not giving personal excuses for why my work isn't done.  That is mostly because I get my work done.  And when carpet installations or excessive knotting get in the way, I stay up all night to get it done.   I know I'm fortunate to have relatively few problems in my life but I would rather just hear "I may not be able to do this until next week" than an excuse. 

So what would be the professional thing?  Reply with a note of understanding and patience?  Reply with a reminder that deadlines are deadlines no matter what else is going on?  Or just not reply?  I'm leaning towards not replying.  I'd rather not be more mean or give him permission to blow me off.

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I just a friendly gal looking for options.

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Re: How do you handle co-workers going through a tough time?

  • thatgrrrrlthatgrrrrl member
    1000 Comments
    Honestly, I don't know. When I need personal time to sort out whatever, I take a sick day or a vacation day. But I also have a lot of understanding from my bosses all the way up to CEO on the situation. So again, little to no help. Sorry.
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited April 2012
    You're not heartless.  I think it's ridiculous that he's trying to work AND straighten out his life.  I bet if he took a vacation day or two and spent half of each day on the phone, he'd get hisshit together.   And then he also wouldn't have the added pressure of work hanging over his head.

    He's not doing anyone any good by being at work.  He's not present, he's just...there. 
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  • zsazsa-stlzsazsa-stl member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    I've heard from other people that this guy used to run an e-bay business out of his cube on company time, which is adding to my lack of respect for his excuses.
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  • tawillerstawillers member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper

    So he is just sitting at work, not working and getting personal stuff done?  What's the point of going in to work?

    I'm sorry he's going through such a tough time, but if he's that distraught, he needs to take some personal days.

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  • *Barbie**Barbie* member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    my company is really flexible with personal issues, but i don't like to take advantage.

    i would have probably taken a day or two off to straighten stuff out - or at least sat down with my boss to discuss workload management in the next few days.

    If you respond, I would go with something like, "I understand you are having some issues in dealing with the vandalism/police/insurance, but we are up against a deadline. Can you advise on your estimated completion date, so I may discuss the potential impact on my workload with my supervisor?"
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  • *Barbie**Barbie* member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    you need to cover your ass since his inability to complete his work is impacting your work.
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  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    I think this can be a blurry line...but I'd go for dealing w/ ONLY the professional stuff.

    "JimBob,
    I understand you have a lot going on. 
    Can you please estimate for me what percentage of the work you should be be able to have done by the deadline on Wed?
    Will you be able to do the remainder by Friday, or do I need to *hire a temp/go elsewhere/whatever*"

    -the great-and powerful zsa"
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  • zsazsa-stlzsazsa-stl member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    My ass is covered because we share the same boss and she knows fully well what I'm dealing with to pull work out of some of these people.  So I'm not too concerned about how this will reflect on me.  It just causes me extra work when people don't get their stuff done because I try to do it without them which means spending hours researching how to do something that would only take them 15 minutes.  At the very least I end up reissuing multiple versions of my reports as the info finally trickles in causing confusion for me and all of my end-product users.
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  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    If it's a one-off, I usually go the kind and understanding route, mostly because I need other people to get a lot of my work done.  If it's part of a pattern as with this guy, then my patience is usually already gone with him/her and I get to be the heartless b!tch.  But since I don't care, it's okay.  YMMV
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