Catholic wedding... but will they marry us?

kellymarie820 · October 2010

Hello,
I set the date for May 2011. I know it's coming up, but it's the only Saturday open at the reception venue we wanted!
Now I need to find a church.
My fiance has been married once before, and has a child. We live together now, and he is Lutheran and I'm Catholic.
We want to be married in the Catholic church but he doesn't want to convert.....
Is this even possible?
Does anyone know of any cute chapels (even if they aren't Catholic) around the MPLS/St. Paul area we could go that would wed us??!!
thank you!!!

bellaxanthe · October 2010

I don't think it's possible but it doesn't hurt to ask. You may be able to get a priest to do a blessing but it won't be a Catholic marriage unless there is conversion (lots and lots of classes). I do believe though that you could get married in a Lutheran church and stay Catholic if that is an option. He would have to get an anulment for his first marriage to be able to marry in the Catholic Church as well if there was a divorce rather than death of spouse.

tegdirb2001 · October 2010

My FI and I are both catholic so I don't have the different religion problem. We are getting married @ the Nazareth Chapel @ Northwestern College. It is a lutheran private college that the chapel is rented out frequently for weddings. I am not sure if they will have your date available because I know it books fast. Our priest checked with the diocese to make sure we could get married there, and it turns out we can. We are not doing a full mass ceremony though. Do you already have a priest to marry you? Do you want a full mass ceremony? You will have to work with a priest regarding the different religions. Good luck Hope that helps. Here is a link to the Northwestern College Nazareth Chapel

http://www.nwc.edu/web/events/weddings-n-reception

PS...it's soooo BEAUTIFUL

mlschn06 · October 2010

This is a tough one...I am lutheran and my fiance is catholic so I know a LITTLE bit about how marriage works in the catholic church but not much. I think they only way you can have a catholic wedding is if your fiance has his first marriage annulled through the church or something? Also, just so you know, something I just learned is that the catholic church won't recognize marriages outside of church (can be any demonination now) and it sounds like you might be exploring other venue options....we are getting married outside but since its not a church, the catholic church won't even consider us married...I would call a church in your area or your fiance's church to get a definite answer on all of this.

maybe984 · October 2010

Usually, Catholic churches these days have no problem with marrying two people of different denominations... you just can't have the full-blown Catholic mass as part of your ceremony. I've been to plenty of weddings with Catholic brides and non-Catholic grooms... and the only major difference is the lack of Communion during the ceremony.

I am semi-sort-of-former-ish Catholic and I never wanted the true FULL ceremony... even if we had gotten married in thr Catholic church. It's hella long, and (this may be an old school thing that only some churches do... I don't know...) I think you have to leave the church open to the public during your ceremony if you have the full mass, which seems weird to me.

Enchanted616 · October 2010

You can get married in the Catholic church. As maybe said, you just can't have communion. And having the communion doesnt make it that much longer, like 15 minutes. And you always have to have the church open for your ceremony, even if you arent having a full mass.

Rebecca7911 · October 2010

My dad is not Catholic but my mom is and they were married in a Catholic church. One church that would marry you is St Edward in Bloomington MN. They are pretty laid back and are very easy to work with.

bellaxanthe · October 2010

I am finding there is a difference between "in a catholic church" meaning the building and have a full on Catholic recoginized wedding/marriage then. Is that still how to interpret all this? It's been 10 years since I attended. The last people I saw go thru this was 5 years ago and they could not have a full on Catholic wedding/marriage beceause they were mixed denominations. They had a priest present - but it was not a "catholic marriage". I'm confusing myself now.

Call a priest - I'm sure they will give you the information you are looking for.

Enchanted616 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_catholic-wedding-but-will-marry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:81Discussion:a51bea81-d256-4049-9a46-9250664c5596Post:ba88fcfa-a3d8-4ee3-a8d5-a84f5ea13e79">Re: Catholic wedding... but will they marry us?</a>:
[QUOTE]I am finding there is a difference between "in a catholic church" meaning the building and have a full on Catholic recoginized wedding/marriage then. Is that still how to interpret all this? It's been 10 years since I attended. The last people I saw go thru this was 5 years ago and they could not have a full on Catholic wedding/marriage beceause they were mixed denominations. They had a priest present - but it was not a "catholic marriage". I'm confusing myself now. Call a priest - I'm sure they will give you the information you are looking for.
Posted by bellaxanthe[/QUOTE]

Yes, it is still a "catholic marriage" even if its of mixed denominations. But this is only true if a catholic is marrying a christian. I think it gets a little different if you get outside of the christian denominations, but the marriage can still be blessed by the church.

bellaxanthe · October 2010

Thanks Enchanted! I'm done hijacking now. Good luck to OP!

JennyLange · October 2010

In our situation, FI is Catholic and I am Lutheran, so we had to find a way for both of us to be comfortable. We are getting married at my church (Lutheran), but we will have either a Catholic blessing during the ceremony or we will have co-officiants.
FI's priest told us that in order to have it recognized by the Catholic church, we will have to get permission from the local bishop, go to the Catholic marriage prep courses, FI will have to promise to raise his kids Catholic (baptized and confirmed- but I don't have to promise this), and there will have to be either a Catholic blessing or co-officiant to say the specific words necessary at the ceremony. I hadn't heard anything that it had to be in a Catholic church though...we're going to have to ask about that.

They did ask if we were married before and if we had kids, neither of which are relevant for us, but I know FI's sister couldn't have a Catholic ceremony because her husband's prior marriage had not been annulled.
Both my church and his are very open to the co-officiant idea, and will travel to either location. We just decided to do my church because I'm more comfortable in my church, FI is too, and it has more natural light- yup, we partly decided on aesthetics.

So...I'd say talk to priest about your options. To us, it sounded like if we wanted it to be recognized by the Catholic church we had to jump through the same hoops if we were married in an actual Catholic church or not. And the priest said there are so many mixed-denomination weddings now-a-days that it really isn't a big deal, even to get approval from the Bishop.
If you're looking for a Catholic church, FI's church is the Church of the Annunciation in Minneapolis. The priest there was really great and open to a mixed-denomination ceremony. Ok I think I've rambled on long enough.

SuperRNluvsChef · October 2010

I'm Catholic and FI is Lutheran. We're getting married in the church I've attended growing up (St. John Neumann in Eagan) and the church has had no problems with us getting married there. They also said that we won't have a full mass (which is actually ok with both of us because only my family is Catholic and it seems silly to have a mass that only my family could take part in). It was just important for us to get married in a church. But I'd call around and talk to a priest. You will probably just have to take marriage prep classes through the church. HTH!

ecni0801 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_catholic-wedding-but-will-marry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:81Discussion:a51bea81-d256-4049-9a46-9250664c5596Post:038ff563-6d5f-4812-abbc-cb633fee87af">Re: Catholic wedding... but will they marry us?</a>:
[QUOTE]My FI and I are both catholic so I don't have the different religion problem. We are getting married @ the Nazareth Chapel @ Northwestern College. It is a lutheran private college that the chapel is rented out frequently for weddings. I am not sure if they will have your date available because I know it books fast. Our priest checked with the diocese to make sure we could get married there, and it turns out we can. We are not doing a full mass ceremony though. Do you already have a priest to marry you? Do you want a full mass ceremony? You will have to work with a priest regarding the different religions. Good luck :) Hope that helps. Here is a link to the Northwestern College Nazareth Chapel <a href="http://www.nwc.edu/web/events/weddings-n-reception" rel="nofollow">http://www.nwc.edu/web/events/weddings-n-reception</a> PS...it's soooo BEAUTIFUL
Posted by tegdirb2001[/QUOTE]

My FI and I are both Catholic and from past problems with my family members trying to get married, I'm almost 100% positive you have to be Catholic to get married - plus the church needs to know 6 - 12 months in advance so you can start doing your "classes" to make sure you're ready for marriage. However, I was actually going to recommend the Northwestern Chapel as well - my friend just got married there and it's absolutely gorgeous! My cousin was going to get married there because she's Catholic and her ex-fiance (depressing story) was Protestant and they would have been able to get married there. I'd definitely check that out! Good luck!!

chou_chou · October 2010

A super cute church in the Mpls area is St. James Episcopal Church on Minnehaha Parkway in south Mpls --- we met with the pastor there and they let anyone rent their church for a wedding, you just have to find your own officiant. It's so charming, is STUNNING in spring and summer with the flowering crabs (and I love the bright red door), and is very cozy inside. If our reception venue hadn't been such a distance away we would have had our ceremony there hands down. No restrictions on religion either, I was raised Catholic (ie went through all the sacraments) but DH is not religious at all. No issues there. Good luck!

kmr333 · October 2010

St. Albert the Great, a Catholic church in S.E. Minneapolis, may be an option. They don't do a ton of weddings, so they will likely have availability, and they seem to be an open and welcoming community. My fiance, who is Lutheran, and I are getting married there.

newlyseliski · October 2010

I think the only challenge you would encounter if you wanted to get married in the Catholic church would be your FI's previous marriage which would likely need to get annulled prior to the wedding. It is a lengthy and very involved process (I have a friend going through it right now). Even if he was not previously married in the Catholic church, the process would still be necessary.

Mixed faith marriages with children and the couple living together are pretty common! The only difference to the wedding itself would be that it would not be a full Mass with communion if only one of the couple is catholic. Most catholic churches will have you go through different degrees of preparation; some do just a meeting with the priest or deacon presiding over the ceremony and others have more in-depth requirements like engaged retreats, pre-marriage inventories, meetings with a mentor couple, NFP classes and such.

leggwilliams · October 2010

Ditto Nazareth Chapel. It's a beautiful, traditional chapel and the only requirement is that you be married by an ordained minister. Contact them quick though, they book up really fast.

Catholic wedding... but will they marry us?

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