Christian Weddings

Communion at the wedding?

FI and I are Methodist and getting married in the Methodist church.  FI really wants to take communion at the wedding.  I have never been to a wedding, outside a Catholic wedding that has had communion. I appreciate the symbolism and the sentiment for his reasons, but I still have reservations.  Has anyone done it?

Some concerns I have:
several of my BMs are Catholic.  I know they would not want to take communion but I don't want them to feel awkward when everyone else does.  The pastor said he could make an announcement in a way that would basically tell everyone to come forward, and if they don't want communion they can send their well wishes and move on kinda thing,  I just feel with them being up front it might make them feel weird.

Also the pastor suggests we be the ones handing out communion to our 250++++ guests, it just seems like it would take a while.  On top of that I am afraid guests will want to stop and chat kinda thing, and how am I to tell them to move foward?

I think my biggest reservation however is being the one to give communion to my guests.  I just don't feel like I could do it.  Almost like I am not spiritually ready to serve communion to others? I am this way with praying with others outside of FI, and I am still very very timid to speak in bible studys.  I am getting better, but its still hard for me and I think this is just another extension of that.

So has anyone been to/ done a communion and a noncathloic wedding?  Can anyone make me feel better about serving communion to others? What do you think of communion at a wedding?

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Fred Rogers

Re: Communion at the wedding?

  • edited December 2011
    I think we are going to take communion at our wedding (me and FI are not Catholic) but i believe how we were gonna do it...is JUST me and FI would be taking communion. i think that is how it would work. 
    we just want the FIRST thing we are going to do as a married couple is take communion together. 

    but..dont worry about not feeling "ready enough" to give communion to your guests. NONE of us are...we ALL fall short. God looks at the hearts of men and if your heart is in a thankful place before God and you know what communion means to you in your own life then i think it is fine. 
    Besides this could be your time to step out of your comfort zone for His glory, you know? it is something to think about. 

    if other ppl dont want to take communion at your wedding then they don't have to. its a personal choice...i dont think anyone would feel awkward or offended.

    Good luck! and let us know what you decide. (:
  • edited December 2011
    FMIL suggested this to my FI and I, but we thought it would be a bit unwieldy with 200ish guests, not to mention the ceremony is going to be long enough as it is, lol.  So we've decided against it.
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  • DramaGeekDramaGeek member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We took communion, but it was just the two of us.  We did it during the unity candle time.  We lit the candle, signed our marriage certificate, then took communion.  I would highly recommend doing it that way instead of with the whole congregation.
  • aggiebugaggiebug member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    sessions: yeah that was another sentiment I had.  The pastor said the ceremony will be 30min without commuion and communion would add about 15minutes if we served everyone that came. 

    lillies: thanks for you words of encouragement I appreciate them.  I am working on stepping forward in my faith and you are so right about this being a great time to step out of my comfort zone for His glory.  I had thought about doing communion for just FI and I, but the pastor said he would not like to do that as communion is open to everyone not just us.  The way he said it made it make more sense so bascially that is not an option for us. 
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Love is like infinity: You can't have more or less infinity, and you can't compare two things to see if they're "equally infinite." Infinity just is, and that's the way I think love is, too.
    Fred Rogers
  • edited December 2011
    ya! i love this! it is totally what i want to do! 
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_communion-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:8f8a748f-627b-4eec-aaba-51c41cc747f9Post:9c72544a-2fb9-4ef0-9c22-41fcd22ef985">Re: Communion at the wedding?</a>:
    [QUOTE]We took communion, but it was just the two of us.  We did it during the unity candle time.  We lit the candle, signed our marriage certificate, then took communion.  I would highly recommend doing it that way instead of with the whole congregation.
    Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]

    <div>I'm loving your idea.  We may consider doing that.  Mom says "after you light the candle, you'll have a lot of time... do you want to do something else?" and I was lost for a response.  Maybe this will work.  I must talk with FI about this!! :-) </div>
    July 16, Our Wedding Day, is also International Juggling Day!
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  • edited December 2011
    drama - did you take communion before you two kissed?
  • aggiebugaggiebug member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Drama, I kind of responded to your post in my last thread, but bascially that is not an option for us.  In the Methodist church communion is open to anyone who believes in Jesus Christ and our pastor does not feel comfortable excluding the table to just us if that makes sense?

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Love is like infinity: You can't have more or less infinity, and you can't compare two things to see if they're "equally infinite." Infinity just is, and that's the way I think love is, too.
    Fred Rogers
  • edited December 2011
    I dont' plan on doing it, just because it takes so long. Andplusalso, most of my whole family and all the guests are either athiest or catholic or non religious, and I don't want them to feel out of place or uncomfortable.
    When you love someone, you can tell. When you're in love with someone, everyone else can tell.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_communion-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:8f8a748f-627b-4eec-aaba-51c41cc747f9Post:4053417d-f081-45cb-b231-74bb7801d3b3">Re: Communion at the wedding?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Drama, I kind of responded to your post in my last thread, but bascially that is not an option for us.  In the Methodist church communion is open to anyone who believes in Jesus Christ and our pastor does not feel comfortable excluding the table to just us if that makes sense?
    Posted by aggiebug[/QUOTE]

    <div>I don't know how they usually do communion during church services normally at your church, but for my church, we have ushers (usually laymen or deacons) who have ushering responsibilities during communion.  They pass around the trays of the unleavened bread, then the trays of juice.  It might make the process go a bit quicker.  Basically two guys take a set of pews / rows.  One guy takes the tray of items and passes down the second row.  The guy on the other side passes a tray down the first row.  The first guy takes the tray from the other end of the first row and gives that tray to the third row, and the second guy takes the tray from the other end of the second row and passes it to the fourth row.  It goes really quickly for us.  It takes 6 ushers at my church because we have 3 sections of pews.  Some churches only have 2 sections of pews, so you could literally do it with as little as 2 or 4 guys.  The groomsmen might be good candidates for this job if they are comfortable with it.  </div><div>
    </div><div>Just a thought.  </div>
    July 16, Our Wedding Day, is also International Juggling Day!
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  • fpaemp2011fpaemp2011 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_communion-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:8f8a748f-627b-4eec-aaba-51c41cc747f9Post:b05ddeb4-6a55-45fb-b22b-20aef2f67fce">Re: Communion at the wedding?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Communion at the wedding? : I don't know how they usually do communion during church services normally at your church, but for my church, we have ushers (usually laymen or deacons) who have ushering responsibilities during communion.  They pass around the trays of the unleavened bread, then the trays of juice.  It might make the process go a bit quicker.  Basically two guys take a set of pews / rows.  One guy takes the tray of items and passes down the second row.  The guy on the other side passes a tray down the first row.  The first guy takes the tray from the other end of the first row and gives that tray to the third row, and the second guy takes the tray from the other end of the second row and passes it to the fourth row.  It goes really quickly for us.  It takes 6 ushers at my church because we have 3 sections of pews.  Some churches only have 2 sections of pews, so you could literally do it with as little as 2 or 4 guys.  The groomsmen might be good candidates for this job if they are comfortable with it.   Just a thought.  
    Posted by kellya01[/QUOTE]

    This.  Our deacons pass to the congregation, then serve the pastors, our pastors serve the deacons, and then one of the pastors reads the passage from 1 Corinthians 11- "For I received from the Lord what I also handed on to you, that the Lord Jesus, on the night He was handed over, took bread, and, after He had given thanks, broke it and said, "This is My body that is broken for you. Do this in remembrance of Me." <em>{Congregation eats the unleavened bread}</em> In the same way also the cup, after supper, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in My blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me." For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until He comes." <em>{Congregation drinks the grape juice}</em>
  • edited December 2011
    In my church the ushers pass around multiple plates to make things go quicker. I went to mass with a friend a bit back in college and they just had whoever felt comfortable go up and receive it from the priest/deacon (I'm kind of hazy on the details because I didn't understand what was going on half the time).

    So I would ust do it however you feel comfortable doing it (as long as your church/pastor are ok with it). And no matter how you do it, I think most people know communion is a time for reflection and prayer, not cocktail hour chat time.
  • DramaGeekDramaGeek member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_communion-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:8f8a748f-627b-4eec-aaba-51c41cc747f9Post:57353ce4-3f35-4a84-b6f6-c1d0095597ed">Re: Communion at the wedding?</a>:
    [QUOTE]drama - did you take communion before you two kissed?
    Posted by amongthelilies25[/QUOTE]

    Yes.  It was after our vows and the exchanging of our rings, then we lit the candle, signed the certificate, took communion, came back for our kiss and announcement as husband and wife.

    OP, I understand what you're saying.  If you do communion for the congregation, I think you should have it be passed.  If people come forward, what will you do for those who aren't believers and don't receive communion?  A lot of people say "they don't have to come forward" but have you ever been the person in the middle of the pew who isn't receiving communion?  Not fun.  It's much easier, and less conspicuous, to be "that person" if it's a passed tray that you can simply pass on to the next person.

    Interestingly, while our church also believes that communion is open to all believers regardless of denomination, our pastor never asked if we wanted to do a whole congregation communion.  We chose to take communion together for the first time as husband and wife as a symbol of the beginning of our walk together.  I gave it to Ricky and he gave it to me, and we drank from the same cup.  We have so many religious beliefs in our families that doing it for everyone would have been...interesting  :-P
  • aggiebugaggiebug member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The pastor said he would make the announcement in a way that everyone would come forward, if they did not want communion they could just hold their hands and wish us a blessing on our marriage.  Kind of a way to give them an out.  We have a lot of catholics, jews and atheists coming too so I really don't want to make them uncomfortable.

    We have never passed the elements in this church, but I may have to see if this is possible.  Thanks ladies.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Love is like infinity: You can't have more or less infinity, and you can't compare two things to see if they're "equally infinite." Infinity just is, and that's the way I think love is, too.
    Fred Rogers
  • iamjoesgurliamjoesgurl member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If I were you, I would be praying about this to understand how God would want you to handle it. 

    I would personally also feel uncomfortable (or unfit) to serve communion.  In the church where I grew up, communion was always served by ordained ministers.  I also would feel uncomfortable at a wedding taking communion.  I take communion very seriously (as I'm sure that you all do) and when I go to a wedding, I am not in the frame of mind that I am in as I take communion.  These are just my personal thoughts.  (By the way, I've never been to a wedding where communion was served besides a Catholic wedding where I did not take communion.  That could also play into my being uncomfortable with communion during a wedding.)
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    if it helps, i am catholic and therefore i do not take communion in other faiths.  i personally would nto feel awkward if communion was provided at your wedding and i had to turn it down.  i would respect that it is your faith, your beliefs, and your wedding.
  • azdancer8azdancer8 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    We also did communion at our wedding, just the two of us. Because of his vows, our officiate could not serve communion to just us, but he said it was ok for another pastor to come up and serve us. (We provided our own elements and cup and plate.) It was our first act as a married couple, right after the exchanging of rings, and right before we were announced to the congregation. We had special music during that time as well. I thought it was perfect!

  • katanne9katanne9 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think if you and your FI want to have a communion service at your wedding that is great!

    Anyone who feels uncomfortable can just pass it on. (I can say so, I pass it on at all the Catholic weddings I go to.)

    I would DEFINITELY tell your Pastor you should NOT be giving it out though. Logistically for you as a bride it's a bad idea. With your dress and also in the middle of your wedding... you may be quite emotional. I just know during my wedding ceremony I wouldn't have wanted to have to worry about handing out communion.
  • aggiebugaggiebug member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks everyone for the feedback. I really appreciate it.  I still don't know exactly what we are going to do, we still have to discuss it more.  I will let you know!
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Love is like infinity: You can't have more or less infinity, and you can't compare two things to see if they're "equally infinite." Infinity just is, and that's the way I think love is, too.
    Fred Rogers
  • squeakyducksqueakyduck member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In my church (Presbyterian) only Elders and ministers can serve communion. We sometimes do it rip 'n' dip style where everyone comes forward and we sometimes pass it around on the communion trays. (Right now we are unable to worship in our sanctuary so we don't have pews and we don't have the little cup holders for the empty cups. So we've been coming forward.) 

    My FI and I decided that we would like to do it during the wedding. It will be passed around and those who don't wish to take it don't have to. My MOH is Jewish and she siad it won't bother her in the slightest. She just won't take it. No one will be judging her. 

    Something people who don't take communion should remember is that those of us who are taking communion should be thinking about His sacrafice for us and what communion means, not about who's not participating. 
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  • BeazillaBeazilla member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I've been to a lot of non-Catholic weddings where communion was served. I think it's a nice idea for you and your FI to serve the bread and wine to your guests. If you want to make it more quicker, the pastor can announce that it's done by intiction (dipping the bread into wine).

    There's nothing to feel unworthy about serving it -- you're an adult believer and your church doesn't have other stipulations about serving. If your church practices open communion, that is any baptized, professed Christian can partake, your Catholic guests can take communion. They might not, but that's up to them, just as it's up to any other guest if they want to partake.
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