Wedding Etiquette Forum

Program wording: bridesmaid can't make it (XP in WP)

We are a little over a month away from our wedding, so I am starting to get all of the little details in order. I want to start working on our programs, but am curious as to the best way to list a bridesmaid who won't be attending.

Unfortunately, she lives out of the country and informed me a few weeks ago that she won't be able to afford her flight here and that I should find someone to replace her. I won't replace her; she was asked because she is one of my best friends, not because she is a prop.

Is it inappropriate to still list her? How do I go about listing her while making it clear she is absent without making it sound like she has passed away or something equally depressing?

I won't write:
Bridesmaid - absent due to finances

But was thinking something like:
Bridesmaid in absentia

Also toyed with "Honorary" bridesmaid, but think it sounds a bit demeaning, especially given that she would be standing with the rest of the ladies if she were able to attend.

Re: Program wording: bridesmaid can't make it (XP in WP)

  • pkontkpkontk member
    500 Comments
    I like 'in absentia' if you decide to do anything.  I personally would just leave her in there, or at least ask if she had a preference.
  • I have a similar situation, wedding in September and we just found out one of our groomsmen, who is in the military, is being sent oversees next week.  Given that there is a 99% probability that he will nto be home in time (he is a pilot so sometimes he gets sent home real early as they have rules about how many hours a pilot can fly and once he hits his limit there is no reason for him to be over there).  Given that, we are listing him in the program with no notes.  Our JP will just make a comment in her intro when she thanks everyone for coming that "unfortunately one of our groomsmen was not able to attend this weekend as he is overseas serving our country, the bride and groom would like to thank him and all of those here to day who currently do or have served in our armed forces'.  For us it is obviously easy to make a comment as we can thank him for serving (and at the same time honor some of our uncles/cousins/friends who are or have served). 
    In your situation I would likely just put her in the program with no comments.  If you felt it neccesary you could have your officient just make a comment that  unfortunately she was unable to attend today but sends her love to the bride and the groom (you could even have her write a short little note that the officiant could read... might be a nice touch)
  • I answered you in the other thread! :)

    But one thing I didn't notice you ask in the other thread because either you didn't or I missed reading it, which is totally possible...
    "Is it inappropriate to still list her?"
    Nope, I'd still list her.
    image
  • We just listed our groomsmen the same as all the rest. Because he was overseas, we put a note at the bottom saying we wished him a safe trip back to his family and we missed him.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I think she should be listed as a BM.  I really dislike absentia and honorary.  She is still a BM, she can't be with you.  You just mention a note in your program that she was unable to be with you today.  Give her the same status as all the rest of your BM's.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards