Place to hold a Jack and Jill/ stag

boomboom1243 · July 2012

I am looking to have a jack and jill in the manchester,ct area. We want to keep the rental fee around 400 and are looking to be able to bring our own food in and sell liqour. Does anyone have any places that might fit wat we are looking for?

MrsF0831 · July 2012

ummm are there any vfw in the area?

id012 · July 2012

a lot of ppl that are on the knot look down on jack and jills and stags.. just so you know.

But i would look at VFWs and places like that

Good luck!

CTJenny · July 2012

How many people are you planning?

Not to hijack the post, but why do people look down on Jack and Jills and/or Stags??

MrsF0831 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_place-to-hold-a-jack-and-jill-stag?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:65Discussion:6a456178-240e-49ad-a38d-11541c46e8a7Post:cbd1c511-f4b6-4772-836d-08b7c8c251af">Re: Place to hold a Jack and Jill/ stag</a>:
[QUOTE]How many people are you planning? Not to hijack the post, but why do people look down on Jack and Jills and/or Stags??
Posted by CTJenny[/QUOTE]

<div>apparently they think its rude to have people pay to attend it or some bs like that w asking for money.. there are a lot of high strung ppl on these boards rather annoying if you ask me.. if you want a jack n jill go for it i know many of ppl who have had them. </div>

maggieandrey · July 2012

If you're doing it in the summer/ early fall, check out Wickham Park.

banana468 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_place-to-hold-a-jack-and-jill-stag?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:65Discussion:6a456178-240e-49ad-a38d-11541c46e8a7Post:5420324d-adee-42c9-b5a2-8db6557ccbd9">Re: Place to hold a Jack and Jill/ stag</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Place to hold a Jack and Jill/ stag : apparently they think its rude to have people pay to attend it or some bs like that w asking for money.. there are a lot of high strung ppl on these boards rather annoying if you ask me.. if you want a jack n jill go for it i know many of ppl who have had them.
Posted by keyshkeyshx04x[/QUOTE]

Well, people think this because it is rude. It's not BS. Many people believe in following propler etiquette and consequently, they're not fans when others go against it.

Throwing a party in your own honor is inappropriate and charging admission to a party is the antithesis of hosting. It reminds me of college parties where you get a Solo cup for $5.

I understand that these are popular and DH and I have friends that have had them. We'll still attend to support friends but we're still not fans of the premise.

HeatherR45 · July 2012

I've called around VFWs, American Legions, Elks clubs and received a wide range of prices from $200-500 so you might have to do a little work to find the cheapest in your area. And it's not rude if it's the norm in your social circle.

DiLynn83 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_place-to-hold-a-jack-and-jill-stag?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:65Discussion:6a456178-240e-49ad-a38d-11541c46e8a7Post:e88e8d83-bac3-4077-8276-e00ec7182925">Re: Place to hold a Jack and Jill/ stag</a>:
[QUOTE]I've called around VFWs, American Legions, Elks clubs and received a wide range of prices from $200-500 so you might have to do a little work to find the cheapest in your area. <strong>And it's not rude if it's the norm in your social circle.</strong>
Posted by HeatherR45[/QUOTE]

<div>I don't think rudeness is defined by how many other people think it's ok. Poor manners are poor manners.</div><div>
</div><div>What type of Jack & Jill are we talking about? The kind where it's a shower and both men and women are invited, and it's not such a "bridal shower-y" event? That's not rude. Those are fine. But you still shouldn't throw it for yourself.</div><div>
</div><div>That kind where people pay $25 to attend, drink beer, play games, and then all the money goes to fund the wedding later on down the road? That's rude, and the rudeness stems from the fact that you're essentially holding a fundraiser to pay for an optional event. You (the general, larger "you") don't have cancer, your house didn't burn to the ground, your family hasn't been hit by a devastating tragedy. So, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to give you money to pay for your big white wedding, know what I mean? Have the wedding you can afford.</div>

boomboom1243 · July 2012

Thank you everyone for you idea we are going to check out american legions and a knights of coloumbus.

But just wanted to say.... if you dont like an event people do keep ur opinions to yourself. there is no difference between throwing a wedding.birthday party, showers etc. and expecting gifts. Is it tacky to have people help pay for your honeymoon or wedding maybe to some peopel but because we are having a low budget cost i was not able to invite all the people i would want to . this is a way that I can have people come enjoy our celebration and still be able to feel like the contributed and involved in our wedding. ok we get it u think its rude. then dont repond to peoples post no one cares about ur negative opinion. by the way. People are ok with jack and jills because its a party and theres good raffles like tvs and entertainment systems, tablets, computers gift cards and much more. and they can come with 20 dollars in there pocket and leave with good prize a full belly and a good time with family/friends and coworkers and lots of dancing. its no different then making ur bridesmaids pay for your showers/bachelorette parties. people get off you high horse and get ur panties out of a bunch.NO ONE IS FORCING YOU TO REPSOND OR TO THROW A JACK AND JILL if its not your sence then oh well..

banana468 · July 2012

Actually, they are different events. Showers and bachelorettes are a gift. They're thrown FOR you and you should never expect others to throw them for you. That's the same as telling people what you expect for gifts. It's never OK to tell your BMs that you expect those sort of events. By the way, this applies to birthday parties too. It's a party in your honor and you should never throw a party in honor of yourself. A, they carry the expectation of gifts and B, it's gauche to throw any event in your honor. This is not the same as a wedding reception. Those are events for the GUESTS where they are thanked for attending the wedding and received by the couple and their families. Those can be hosted by the bride and groom because the event isn't for them. Throwing your own JJ, asking people to contribute to the event, and inviting people to the event who aren't welcome at the wedding reception is an execution of poor manners. That you are paying for things yourselves is never license to be unmannerly. If all you can afford is cake and punch for a large group or dinner for a small group then that's a choice that you need to make. Finally, people are more than welcome to express their opinions on these boards as long as its in accordance with TK's rules. You don't have to like what others have to say but you have no business telling them to stop saying it.

boomboom1243 · July 2012

all i read from that is im annoying/no fun/fat old lady thanks for your help see i do have no manners so i will throw ourseleves a jack and jill .. THANKS!

banana468 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_place-to-hold-a-jack-and-jill-stag?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:65Discussion:6a456178-240e-49ad-a38d-11541c46e8a7Post:28afa570-7f35-42c4-8ba9-3694f7b5dbc8">Re: Place to hold a Jack and Jill/ stag</a>:
[QUOTE]all i read from that is im annoying/no fun/fat old lady thanks for your help see i do have no manners so i will throw ourseleves a jack and jill .. THANKS!
Posted by boomboom1243[/QUOTE]

It's fine to disagree with me. It's not fine to insult me. If you don't like what I say ignore it. Hurling insults on the boards will only get your account banned.

DiLynn83 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_place-to-hold-a-jack-and-jill-stag?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:65Discussion:6a456178-240e-49ad-a38d-11541c46e8a7Post:28afa570-7f35-42c4-8ba9-3694f7b5dbc8">Re: Place to hold a Jack and Jill/ stag</a>:
[QUOTE]all i read from that is im annoying/no fun/fat old lady thanks for your help see i do have no manners so i will throw ourseleves a jack and jill .. THANKS!
Posted by boomboom1243[/QUOTE]

<div>Oh stop it. Now you're just being foolish. No one is insulting you - Banana and I are simply trying to explain to you why Jack and Jills are rude events. We're trying to <em>help</em> you. Your friends and family aren't going to give you this advice because they won't want to hurt your feelings. How many times have you privately disagreed with something a loved one was doing, but didn't want to say so in person? I don't know you in real life, so while it's definitely NOT my goal to hurt your feelings, I also don't have to concern myself with whether or not you like what I'm saying. Jack & Jills, when used as a fundraiser to pay for your wedding, are tacky, money-grabby, and an etiquette faux-pas. I'm only telling you that to (hopefully) prevent you from being a bride with poor manners, I'm NOT doing it to be insulting.</div>

boomboom1243 · July 2012

bahahahahahahahahahaha

banana468 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_place-to-hold-a-jack-and-jill-stag?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:65Discussion:6a456178-240e-49ad-a38d-11541c46e8a7Post:62b33711-09d2-486e-9adc-299d16f3dd8d">Re: Place to hold a Jack and Jill/ stag</a>:
[QUOTE]bahahahahahahahahahaha
Posted by boomboom1243[/QUOTE]

OK? I'm not really seeing the point of that other than to imply that
1) You don't really care if you get kicked off the boards. If you don't that's fine. The point is that we are giving you information about what is and isn't bad manners. You on the other hand have actually hurled insults.

OR

2) You think this entire thing is funny!?

I feel like this exchange has suddenly become really childish.

boomboom1243 · July 2012

well when I ask is a jack and jill a good idea in your point. feel free to awnser. when u offer nothing but negativity and ediquette classes then i laugh at you hahahahahahahhaahhaahah cuz i feel sorry for you and the people who have to deal with you. but i see you like this so respond on crab apple

banana468 · July 2012

Here's the thing about message boards: Sometimes you'll get advice that may not have to do with the question at hand. The advice may not be what you want to hear but it IS unbiased.

You don't have to listen to it, but it's really quite rude to talk to me the way you are. If you ultimately have a J&J go for it. I don't know you and it's not going to make one difference to me if you do.

However you need to remember that you signed up for an account on TK and you agreed to the rules of TK when you created it. That means that insulting me the way you have is an absolute rule-breaker. If you wrote to me that way on one of the boards that I moderate you would have been warned already that one more snide comment would result in banning.

Finally, saying, "I feel sorrry for you and hte people who have to deal with you," is a really cliche statement that I have yet to see from someone who can defend her position.

boomboom1243 · July 2012

sometimes you dont need back things up when being around negative over opinionated judgemental people who dont know when to stop or know their place. i mean ive read some other posts u dont ever offer any advice u degrade people and their thoughts. thanks bye ms.crabapple.. toodles.. ignored

meggarmc · July 2013

I just wanted to throw this out here; just because a couple doesn't have thousands of dollars to spare on a wedding, big or small, doesn't mean they don't deserve to have one. And if a couple wants to have a Jack and Jill to give them a helping hand than that is their prerogative. If family members don't want to support that decision than they don't have to go. To each his own.

Another note; everyone is allowed to have an opinion. But everyone should have the common sense on how to speak their mind without putting down anyone who may disagree in the process.

hyechica81 · July 2013

ok jack and jills are for your friends and family to get togther the money raised is suposed to help you when you are married or you can use it for your wedding its a tradition in french canadian customs..

if you are going to do a jack and jill charge an admission that will cover food and booze you stated you wanted to sell liqour thats tacky you are say charging 25-30 bucks then you expect your guest to purchase drinks off of you.. get 2 kegs for the beer, get a few bottles for mixers as well as the oj, get 2 kinds of soda dite and regular and have water on hand for those who dont drink.. dont charge for the liqour but leave a tip jar out and have someone you know mix the drinks you can get your liqour on commison you have to talk to the liqour stores to see who does that ( whatever you dont open you return and get your money back)

in my family we do bridal showers given by the mom sister made of honor or the mother in law then the guys have a stag party where they raise money for the bride and groom

if you want to do a jack n jill go ahead they are fun i went to a friends and had a blast. people are going to disagree.

another idea would be to not charge serve light food like munchies and a cake, get some amazing raffle prizes maybe some of your close family like brothers and sisters would donate or set a spending limit on the prizes. make your money off the raffle

Ohashes11 · July 2013

Maybe the ones my fiancé has been to are different but the stags he's been to have always been thrown by the best man and/or father of the groom, I have never heard of one being hosted by the groom himself. If you ask me when it's hosted by the best man it's essentially the equivalent of having a shower. Guess I never thought about a groom or couple throwing their own. Ill keep my opinion out of that one...

KCLindgren · July 2013

I've heard of a Jack and Jill Shower--instead of a bridal shower where the bride receives gifts like pots, pans, etc for the new home, the bride and groom skip the traditional bridal shower and do a Jack and Jill. I went to one, it was very fun! As other posters said, there was a raffle, a dj, fun games. Yes, look for a VFW to hold the event.

banana468 · July 2013

meggarmc said:

I just wanted to throw this out here; just because a couple doesn't have thousands of dollars to spare on a wedding, big or small, doesn't mean they don't deserve to have one. And if a couple wants to have a Jack and Jill to give them a helping hand than that is their prerogative. If family members don't want to support that decision than they don't have to go. To each his own.

Another note; everyone is allowed to have an opinion. But everyone should have the common sense on how to speak their mind without putting down anyone who may disagree in the process.

I'm not understanding why a year old thread was resurrected. I think the OP is married by now.

However, regarding the comments about speaking one's mind, this thread is rife with insults and personal accusations towards me while I've been nothing but civil.

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