Outdoor Weddings

No Groom's Ring

Because of the nature of my future husband's occupation, he would not be able to wear a ring and therefore doesn't want a ring.  He had rather I give him  a necklace with a cross on it as my token of commitment to him during the ceremony.  Would that be inappropriate?

P.S. My mom and dad will be celebrating their 42nd wedding anniversary this August and I have never known for my father to wear his ring.

Re: No Groom's Ring

  • Belle2BeBelle2Be member
    edited July 2010
    I'd probably be stubborn and make him get a ring, and he can wear that on the necklace if he likes.

    But if YOU'RE ok with him wearing a cross necklace in place of a ring, then its 100% fine! It's all about symbolism anyway, I'm not any less engaged if  I don't wear my ring than when I do, you know?
  • Future occupation? He doesn't have this occupation yet and who knows what will happen in the future.

    Even when men have occupations where wearing rings isn't advisable, that doesn't stop them from having a wedding band and they wear it when not working.
  • I say if you're fine with, then you should respect his wish to not have one, and go with the necklace. When you are arranging the ceremony, you could have the officiant make a comment on how your groom would rather wear his marriage symbol around his neck, closer to his heart, just to play it up a bit =)
  • Ultimately, it's his decision and it's not an uncommon one. I would probably still buy him a ring, so if he wanted to wear it, when not at work he could, and so you could still do the ring exchange during the ceremony.
  • he doesn't work 24/7 right? i would buy him a ring reguardless but that's just me.
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  • If he is worried about it breaking or melting, then I would suggest a Tungsten ring. They are very very durable, the only thing is they can't be resized. They are made of the metal found in x-rays and have a very high melting point. If he happened to break his hand he should take it off right away or they will have to smash it. But it is a decision for you both to make =) my FH is wearing a tungsten one.
  • Because a wedding ring is a gift from one spouse to another, if your husband prefers a gift of a necklace (instead of a ring) then it seems the necklace would be the most appropriate gift you can give him.  It would let him know that you have listened to him and are happy to fulfill his wish of not having a ring (buying a ring when he doesn't want one may send a message that you don't think he knows what he wants ... ugh).

    My parents have been married for 50+ years and my father does not wear a ring (nor did he want one).

    Good luck!
  • I know many men who either cannot or choose not to wear their rings to work.  But as a PP said, they do not work 24/7, and it is nice to have it for going out to nice occasions!
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  • Is the issue that if he wears his ring to work it could get caught in something and cause him to lose a finger or his hand?  Does his job forbid the wearing of rings for safety reasons?  In which case even tungsten is out of the question. 

    I think the necklace is a great idea.  Yeah, he doesn't work 24/7 but the idea of him always wearing the same "symbol" is kinda nice.   And I know some people who cannot wear their rings to work never get in the habit of wearing it so it ends up getting left places and possibly lost. 
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  • I have a friend who had lost his finger (at the second knucle, so a ring wouldn't stay on) in a work accident before he was married and he now can't wear a ring. He went and got a tattoo of a band on his ring finger.

    As well my fiance is allergic to metal and with out spending lots of money on a ring, which he can't wear at work, or when he is on call. I'm not really up for the tattoo thing but i would be willing to get him something else to symbolize the marriage. (necklace would be out of the question to.)

    I also can not wear rings at work and have not worn my engagement ring unless we go out with friends or family and will not wear my wedding ring either. We are just going to have to figure it out what we are going to do for the ceremony.
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  • I think its fine! My FI is a mechanic. and has really big hands. I knew he wouldn't wear a ring and it doesn't bother me at all. He works and comes home and works on side jobs. 
  • Rings are important.  One of the things I do first when I meet an attractive man, or if a guy is hitting on me is look at his hands to see if he's wearing a ring.  He can wear the ring, leave it in the car, go to work, then put it back on when he's done.  I would make him wear it.  But, like the other girls said it is your choice, so do whatever makes you happy and gives you peace of mind.  To me is him wearing a ring.
    Btw, my father (like me) has very sensitive skin, so he wears no jewlery whatsoever.  So, he unconciously removes his ring or watch because it bothers his skin.  I used to do that a lot too until I got my engagement ring.  If my skin feels sensitive due to my ring, I remove it for a couple of minutes and put it back on.  That's what my father does too.  My mom wouldn't allow him to go anywhere without his ring.
  • My fiance does a lot of car work. He is less worried about injury to himself than damaging or destroying his ring.  Therefore a good friend of his is making him a ring out of carbon fiber.  It combines the two things in this world that he loves the most, me and cars.
  • you should get him his necklace and maybe a cheeper ring that way at the ceremony you can exchange rings then he can place it on the chain with the cross so it will always be there with him :)
    2 mine 2 his and healing from a broken heart and loss of our first baby together :(
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