Tosses Question

em01092 · May 2011

I searched this with little result, but surely I cannot be the first to ask this.

Who goes up for the bouquet and garter tosses? Truly single people, as in no SO/FI? If that is the case, there will be like 2 people up there for ours.

I swear I have been to weddings wear people in relationships, but not married or engaged, go up for the tosses. Yes yes, I know this could be offensive to those who choose not to get married, but that applies to no one at our wedding. Plus, any way you go about this you could offend someone...single people feel singled out (ha), the anniversary dance makes divorced/widowed people upset, etc.

Maybe I won't do anything, but I wanted to do the tosses. It just seems pointless for our crowd if only truly single people are supposed to do it.

Thoughts?

bethsmiles · May 2011

I don't think there is a rule. If you want to do these tosses just have the DJ announce that you are tossing the bouquet and those who want to participate will participate.

NOLAbridealmost · May 2011

Anyone who wants to participate can. Like PP said just announce that "The Bride is about to toss the bouquet" and anyone who wants to do it will gather around. A lot of people will sit out when they're married or engaged because they might think it ruins the fun if they catch the bouquet/garter. A lot of single people also choose not to participate just because they don't like the tradition. At mine we got lucky because the song "Single Ladies" randomly came on and all my single gals were already gathered around dancing so I just chose that particular moment to toss the thing. It was all very organic. Don't give it too much thought!

mary9449 · May 2011

Anyone who wants to can go up. It's not a big deal if people in relationships play or not. I think it's intended for those who are single, but I don't really think it matters.

[Deleted User] · May 2011

Yup, anyone can stand up or gather around the bride. My DJ just announced it and mostly only the single ladies stood up. It is just a fun (some ppl don't think so) thing that is done at weddings. However, a lot of brides are opting not to do them these days. I am not particularly superstitious, but my BIL did catch my garter and he is getting married this summer.

Kris092988 · May 2011

Maybe if you need it announced, word as unmarried persons, so that way your girls who are with someone can still participate.

Allycat11 · May 2011

I heard of someone attaching a gift card to the garter and bouquet and getting everyone involved. It gives people more incentive. We may do that if we end up not having many single friends there...which I think is the case.

Tiger_Tammer · May 2011

I have been prodded to join for bouquet toss even after I was engaged to my Honey. Doesn't make sense to me...but it must be for whoever is not legally married.

Milsey32 · May 2011

I just don't like the idea of being called out if you're single. Everyone and anyone should be able to do it... especially if there was an incentive, like PP said, i.e. gift card.

jemmini6 · May 2011

Technically it's supposed to be all unmarried people. Whether you are in a relationship (or even engaged). I never liked the tradition and the last few weddings I've been to with tosses were empty and both the bouquet and garter fell on the floor until someone finally felt bad and picked it up. We aren't doing either at our wedding (I'm not even wearing a garter) and we'll do an anniversary dance instead to give away the bouquet. I do like the idea of attaching a gift card though and having everyone participate...that might make it more bearable, but I probably still wouldn't participate myself.

OuachitaTrixie · May 2011

I think this falls (like most things) into the "know your crowd" line of thought. Some girls just toss their bouquet back into the general crowd as part of their "grand exit." That way no one was singled out and the natural response of people is to try and not let it hit the ground. If someone catches it and they aren't interested they may hand it to a lady or girl next to them.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · May 2011

When I've been to weddings with tosses, single was always defined as "not married" because the point is that the one who catches it will be the next to get married... so it makes sense that girls with boyfriends go up, I guess.

That said, we didn't do it. I never liked to HAVE to go up there, and I certainly wouldn't call people out by name or have the DJ force people up there.

mandi921vh · May 2011

I used to go to a lot of the other boards, but I mostly just post here now.

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