I love my mother but.....

swtasa · February 2010

Rant\

Ya know I really love my mom, I can't really complain too much. She's doing her best but boy is this woman the queen of guilt trips...

We wanted to get married in Vegas or Hawaii.... small intimate ceremony, then my mother proceeded to sob like we had stolen her first born son and threatened to sacfrice him to some volcano god. So we relented, ok we'll do traditional wedding, it's both of our first wedding so it won't be weird....

So we say "ok about 80-100 people" Well that fell through too... his mothers pyschotic babbling got us to up it to 150... now we're at 200. Ok fine whatever both set of parents agreed to chip in for extra people.

Can you see what's happening here? I'm letting peoples tears make my wedding into their's? Yeah I admit it, I'm a door mat

So I decided fine I'll pay for all these f-ing people, don't care really I can still get it within budget. Note: We are having an open bar, and a wedding cake and full meal, yeah I'm doing buffet style, no I don't care I'm cheap.

My mother says to me that I should get a different dress that would be cheaper and let my sister do my hair and makeup so their will be more money for the reception...

Uhh.. for once I'm putting my foot down. No hell no.... my little intimate affair is turning into some kind of gala event for everyone in the cities of clevelend and buffalo, ny to attend. I let it slide, honestly I don't care. Believe me if my FI weren't concerned about looking cheap I'd be catering people KFC and snack trays from the grocery store. We're not...

Screw that, my wedding may end but being crazy cheap set up whatever to compenstate for the doubled guest list but I don't care I'm getting my GD dress and having my elabrote hair... Because I want to so there

/Rant

shoegal715 · February 2010

Tthis is YOUR wedding day. Do what you want. People will get over it. Better yet, stop talking to people about your plans - just make the plans, and once they are said and done, people won't really be able to complain and chime in once it's already done.

I never understood why people elope until I started planning my own wedding. It can get stressful at times, but it's also wonderful and exciting. Try to block out unwanted opinions and advice, and stand up to your wishes, beliefs and for yourself.

Good luck.

gower2be · February 2010

Ha! I hope you get the priciest most extravagent hair- do you can. But you really should just cease to discuss stuff with mommy dear it will make it so much easier

swtasa · February 2010

See and normally that would work, unfortunately I require assistance being the fact 1. Not in the city 2. travel often for work and 3. too damn cheap to buy a wedding planner....

I told her today at lunch I'm getting my damn hair. makeup and dress even if we have to do a freaking potluck to feed everyone. If she has a problem with not having top of the line 60 dollar a plate dinners she is more then welcome to cut her "must have" list down by about 50 people or cover the cost from say 25 dollars a plate buffet style to the 60 dollars a plate sit-down style dinner my sister had.

Honetly none of it really would matter to me if it weren't for the hair and dress comment, cuz honestly I don't get a super joyous charge out of doing this wedding planning stuff, it's not my style. I would really like to just show up in my pretty dress and have it all magically put together. Completely unrealistic I know

But I have to be mildly nice though as she is going to watch my daughter for an entire week after the wedding

swtasa · February 2010

She said she understands my "feelings" on it but still thinks I should then did her *sigh* but I guess it's your decision thing.

Oh well atleast no tears. My family aren't yelling types, it's all very passive agressive which well I can deal with lol

fiddle14 · February 2010

My mother is a friggin TRAVEL AGENT for guilt trips. :-)

You have to stick to your guns and not give in. It's your wedding, your money, you have to do what you can handle YOUR way. Trust me, your mom will get over it and be there for your day no matter what you decide to do. And if she decides to be petty and not come, it will look bad on her, not you!

swtasa · February 2010

Lol not come? Not my mother... she does love me and she would never threaten to not come. As a matter of fact if she were to ever get so angry at me she'd think about not going she'd probably come just to spite me and tell our relatives how glad she is this is over so I'll stop being bridezilla lol.

As you can tell the ladies in my family get our attitude from our mommy. She seems to be calming down a bit. And because none of the parents are getting what they want(i.e. what we can afford) now everyone wants to chip in. Like I said I don't raelly care if they plan the whole thing themselves as long as we have 1 vegan meal and no shellfish(totally not cool for the bride to go into anaphylactic shock on her wedding day) I don't care about the reception(I'm a really bad bride honestly)

onlymels · February 2010

My mom said that if my BM's wear black shoes she won't come to my wedding. I feel your pain. My mom had a crappy wedding in someone's back yard and she was prego with me. So she's trying to live the wedding she never had through me. Lucky me we have very similar tastes and I told her if she want's something done she has to pay for it and her being on a fixed income means things she wants aren't getting done since they are WAY to pricey.

leandralona · March 2010

I know the feeling. My mom somehow convinced me to double the guest list and get the photographer who cost almost twice as much. And when friends ask her about what type of wedding dress I have, she tells them its nice, but the one I tried on before it made me look like a princess. I finally told her that if she liked the other dress so much she can go buy it and i'll put it on for 1 hour of the reception just so her friends can see what a wonderfull dress she had picked out for me.

Mom's are all kinda crazy in their own ways, but we love them. We are adults and it's now ok to tell them no, we just need to figure out how to deal with the guilt trips, nasty remarks and tears.

I love my mother but.....

Re: I love my mother but.....

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