Fear Of Flying.. What To Expect?

brenda2011Wed139476 · May 2012

Planning on going to Puerto Rico for honeymoon, since FI is from there. I have NEVER flown before and am more than a little anxious. Would like some advice on what to expect. When I ask others, they say it is no big deal, you will love it, nothing to be afraid of, etc. I want to do this, PR is gorgeous, and it is his homeland. Can't think of anywhere else to go. How do you conquer a fear of flying?
BTW, it's only a three hour trip from where we live, so I don't have to worry about meals. Thank goodness, don't think I would be able to eat.

lls31 · May 2012

I'm not sure there's a way to conquer your fear besides actually doing it. It's really not that bad.

I flew for the first time when I was 21. I was terrified. I spent some time in the bar before our flight and that helped me at the time, but I'm not sure alcohol is the answer. A friend of mine asked her doctor to prescribe something for her, which helped her.

Taking off is no big deal. As you get higher, your ears might pop. I've always chewed gum and that seemed to help. While you're in the air, you can barely even feel it unless you hit turbulence. Turbulence isn't really a big deal either - the ride just gets a bit bumpy. Landing is something that's hit or miss for me. The descent usually makes me nauseous. I've flown probably a hundred times because I needed to for work and I still get nauseous sometimes during landings. I have a pretty weak stomach though.

Good luck! You'll be fine!

brenda2011Wed139476 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_fear-of-flying-what-to-expect?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:b77a8ad0-79b4-400d-bde1-bf876d33bc23Post:7bc98354-6150-4dcb-a535-3f97d7a994e0">Re: Fear Of Flying.. What To Expect?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not sure there's a way to conquer your fear besides actually doing it. It's really not that bad. I flew for the first time when I was 21. I was terrified. I spent some time in the bar before our flight and that helped me at the time, but I'm not sure alcohol is the answer. A friend of mine asked her doctor to prescribe something for her, which helped her. Taking off is no big deal. As you get higher, your ears might pop. I've always chewed gum and that seemed to help. While you're in the air, you can barely even feel it unless you hit turbulence. Turbulence isn't really a big deal either - the ride just gets a bit bumpy. Landing is something that's hit or miss for me. The decent usually makes me nauseous. I've flown probably a hundred times because I needed to for work and I still get nauseous sometimes during landings. I have a pretty weak stomach though. Good luck! You'll be fine!
Posted by lls31[/QUOTE]

Thank you, that is the best advice I have heard!

saraschilling88 · May 2012

3 hours isn't a bad first flight, mine was over 8! Do you get motion sickness? If you do, bring something to help with that (dramamine works for me).

Get to the airport at least 1 to 1.5 hours early (to give you plenty of time to get your bags checked and get through security). Make sure you and your husband have your actual names on the tickets (I know someone who ordered both tickets in his name, and had to ay extra to reschedule flights because his wife couldn't go on the plane because her name wasn't on the ticket). Keep your photo id (drivers license, passport) in an outer pocket of your carry on (so you can easily access it for security). I generally wear slip on/off shoes and socks so I can easily remove my shoes for security and not walk barefoot on the airport floor. Make sure to follow the TSA packing guidelines (no more than 3oz fluids in your carry on, and they have to be in a bag to show the security staff). Once you are through security, go find your gate right away, then if you are hungry go find food. I generally stay near my gate because I want to be ready to board asap.

Some things I do on flights to help me be comfortable are to make sure I have gum to chew during takeoff (and landing) to help with ear popping. I also bring an empty water bottle through security and fill it up on the other side to bring water on the plane. I generally get cold on airplanes (but warm in the airport), so I bring a zip up sweatshirt in my carry on, and put it on just before boarding the airplane. I try to get a window seat, it helps me to be able to look out the window when flying. Also, I always try to use the bathroom before I fly, I really don't like using airplane bathrooms.

If you have every been on a roller coaster, I compare parts of flying to a gentle roller coaster. During take off I generally am pushed a little bit into my seat (but nothing bad), and on descent I feel lighter than usual (but again, nothing too bad). During the flight it doesn't feel that much different to me than sitting in a chair at home.

Maggie0829 · May 2012

Agree with all advice already given, especially the part about brining a hoodie on the flight (I always get cold).

Another bit I wanted to add was the noise level when flying is a lot louder then what you see on the movies or tv. On tv the plane always sounds so quiet but in reality it is pretty noisy. You of course will get used to this after a bit, but at first it may be surprising (I know it was for me).

Like PP said, the only way to get over your fear of flying is to fly.

MrsKathyC · May 2012

PP's have covered most of it. I'll just add: Before going through security, be sure your pockets are empty, don't wear a lot of jewelry, don't wear an underwire bra (some will set off the alarms, some won't). Definetly wear slip on shoes, much faster! Put all your paperwork (ID and boarding passes) in your purse, backpack, whatever, so that your hands are free and can grab your stuff off the conveyer belt quickly.

As for the flight, take off is the best for me, it's kind of a rush when the wheels leave the ground! Landing makes my ears pop and hurt, a decongestant helps with that beforehand though. Be prepared to brace yourself once you do land, they come to a stop pretty quickly.

Try to enjoy it! Good luck!

jennipea382 · May 2012

I've been flying since I was a baby, many many times, and I still freak out sometimes. I'm kinda lucky in the sense that my dad's an airline mechanic so he always knew what the weird noises were and it reassured me. So just know that you may hear some odd noises, but 99.9% of the time it's nothing.

Turbulence is what gets me. Sometimes we move around so much that I really start getting worried. But I'm still here aren't I? It's a little crazy but just take some deep breaths and you'll be fine. Just try to distract yourself with a book, music, a movie if you have something to watch it on or if one's provided. Or try to sleep if you can. I rarely am able to sleep on planes and I'm always jealous of my sister that can sleep through the whole thing! Oh, and a glass or four of wine wouldn't hurt either ;-)

OH I forgot.. taking off kinda gets to me too. As the plane starts to level off, I always kinda get that "roller coaster" falling type feeling and I HATE that feeling (I hate roller coasters!). What helps me is looking out the window and seeing that we're just leveling out, not going down!

MrsMeganL2012 · May 2012

I can relate. Though, unlike previous posters, I HATE takeoff. It terrifies me. Once I get up to cruising altitude, I'm fine. Even landings are ok for me. I also travel fairly regularly (around 12-15 individual flights a year) and the takeoffs are not any easier.

I think you need to figure out what scares you about flying. Is it worry about being sick like previous posters mentioned? Or is it about turbulence? Or takeoffs/lanings? Understanding the mechanics of flying may help.

Good luck! As much as I hate flying, I will NOT let it stop me from traveling the world.

brenda2011Wed139476 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_fear-of-flying-what-to-expect?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:b77a8ad0-79b4-400d-bde1-bf876d33bc23Post:0c90a1ce-b580-4156-8f74-53e281d74329">Re: Fear Of Flying.. What To Expect?</a>:
[QUOTE]I can relate. Though, unlike previous posters, I HATE takeoff. It terrifies me. Once I get up to cruising altitude, I'm fine. Even landings are ok for me. I also travel fairly regularly (around 12-15 individual flights a year) and the takeoffs are not any easier. I think you need to figure out what scares you about flying. Is it worry about being sick like previous posters mentioned? Or is it about turbulence? Or takeoffs/lanings? Understanding the mechanics of flying may help. Good luck! As much as I hate flying, I will NOT let it stop me from traveling the world. :)
Posted by MrsMeganL2012[/QUOTE]

I have a fear of heights. Also, not being in control of things around me.
Thank you everyone for all the advice, it has helped a lot!

alithebride · May 2012

i think you have some great advice already. only one thing i'll touch on. 90 minutes (imo) is not enough time to arrive before the flight. if you have to check bags and there's a long line it might cause an issue. review your carrier's rules about how long before the flight you need to be there. i know jetblue out of jfk requires 1 hour before flight to check in/check luggage so if you only have 30 minutes and theres a long line you'll have a problem. i generally do 3 hours before flight but that's just me.

i wont lie-sometimes turbulence can be scary. i've flown all my life but i still get freaked sometimes. i found that i was really having an irrational fear-I googled it and found out what caused it, how planes are designed to handle it etc.. and that really put me at ease a lot. i'd never had a problemw ith that before and then had one incredibly bumpy flight that spurred the issue.

planes are very dry. i always feel like my sinuses are like the desert when i land. drink lots of water.

you'll hear some noises (bumps) during take off and then before landing. it's just the landing gear going into and coming out of it's housing, some flap adjustments etc...

i do recommend you sit by the window. i love looking out and seeing everything below. i'm not sure if your fear of hights will bother you this way. my dh has a fear of heights but in a plane (or anytime there's soemthing under his feet) he's fine.

MrsMeganL2012 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_fear-of-flying-what-to-expect?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:b77a8ad0-79b4-400d-bde1-bf876d33bc23Post:1cccd1c8-de08-49d5-a1fc-c26369707607">Re: Fear Of Flying.. What To Expect?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Fear Of Flying.. What To Expect? : I have a fear of heights. Also, not being in control of things around me. Thank you everyone for all the advice, it has helped a lot!
Posted by brenda2011Wed139476[/QUOTE]

I have a fear of heights too. But I think it's different when flying. I feel once we reach cruising altitude, I love looking out the window at the plains of the midwest or the Swiss Alps or whatever it is. I won't say it'll be that way for you, but that's my experience.

I can also relate to the control factor. I just remind myself that the pilots and flight attendants do this ALL THE TIME and they all have family they want to get home to at the end of the day too.

Good luck. Book that honeymoon and ENJOY!

Maggie0829 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_fear-of-flying-what-to-expect?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:b77a8ad0-79b4-400d-bde1-bf876d33bc23Post:1cccd1c8-de08-49d5-a1fc-c26369707607">Re: Fear Of Flying.. What To Expect?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Fear Of Flying.. What To Expect? : I have a fear of heights. Also, not being in control of things around me. Thank you everyone for all the advice, it has helped a lot!
Posted by brenda2011Wed139476[/QUOTE]

For the heights, I would recommend the aisle seat. But like a PP said, at that height the amazement of the view always overtakes the fear of height that I have.

As for the control factor. In life, you really don't have control over much. Even if you were driving in your car, you have no control over what others do. You just need to trust that the pilots will take care of you, like PP said, they have loved ones that they want to get home and see as well.

acaponi87 · May 2012

Takeoff is by far the worst for me. FI holds my hand and I bring a stuffed animal with me. I'm fine after that. Definitely bring a sweater. I wear pants too. Puerto Rico is amazing. Have fun!

BrittneyRN · May 2012

I had a horrible fear of flying. I flew twice, and now I'm even more afraid of it! I'm literally so scared that it's making me dread my honeymoon. I'll probably have a cocktail before the flight!

MrsKathyC · May 2012

I don't know if a window seat would be beneficial for you, since you'll be flying over water. Not much to see

Leenie10 · May 2012

Hi there,
I have flown many, many times but still get a bit anxious because I sometimes get a little claustrophobic, and I know subconsciously it also has to do with the lack of control. My fiance chuckles about it since he has been the one to pilot the plane before (albeit a smaller one), so has no fear whatsoever.

The best advice I can give is to make up your mind when you get on the plane to accept that you are not the one in control and that the pilot knows what he is doing. The next best advice is to plan a few distractions for yourself: reading, watching a movie, listening to music, talking to hubby, trying to sleep, whatever- and before you know it you will be there. Best of luck!

monkeysip · May 2012

PPs have all given you good advice, PP.

I just wanted to add that my FI flew for his first time last December (we went to florida). He was 24.

He was SO SCARED. He had turned down several opportunities to fly because he was dreading it. He also has anxiety issues anyway and was scared he'd have a freakout on the plane.

He brought some medicine with him incase he needed it, but he didn't drink alcohol or take anything before he got on the plane.

Not only was he perfectly fine for the flight... and took no medicine... but he even actually enjoyed it and thought it was fun.

Now he's actually excited for us to fly again!

Summer2011Bride · May 2012

I skimmed the other posts, so sorry if I am repeating.

Many major airports offer fear of flying classes. They cost money and I'm not sure how much but I personally know someone who was paralyzed with fear when getting on planes who took these classes and now flies regularly like it's NBD. I'm not saying at this stage you need to look into them, but if you fly and end up hating it/really freaking out but would like to be able to fly in the future, I think these classes might be worth it.

As someone else said, it is much safer, statistically, than driving, but I understand it's weird to not have "control" over the vehicle like when driving. Honestly, what helps me is to distract myself with something like a book, a movie (longer flights offer them but a three hour one may not), an iPod, etc. Don't think about the fact that you are up in the air.

Chewing gum helps with my ears popping. Only once (actually my first time flying) did we have a really bad landing where my ears hurt SO bad. I think it was just that pilot/landing because I've never had that experience since. If heights bother you, I would close your window shade and not look outside.

It truly isn't bad after you've done it. I think the fear of the unknown is probably getting to you most of all. For me, I absolutely love traveling and couldn't do that without flying. I think of all the people that fly regularly for business, some even weekly or more, and the fact that if there was a plane crash, we'd hear about it and I can't honestly remember the last time we had one. They are so, so rare. You only hear about the rare occurences on the news. You will be fine. Have a great time in PR!

ETA: Drink lots of water as flying dehydrates you and you will feel better post-flying if you stay hydrated. I also try to get up and stretch my legs at least once, even on shorter flights.

CallMeBubbles · May 2012

I agree with all the PP. I've been flying as long as I can remember, and I agree with a lot of what has already been said. I'll reemphasize things that have helped me/add a few:

1. Definitely, definitely drink lots of water and stay hydrated before, during and after flying. I always get so dehydrated because the cabin is very dry.

2. Always have a sweater, sweatshirt or blanket with you! Those airplanes get COLD no matter what time of year it is.

3. Read through TSA and airport security requirements if you're not familiar. This should help reduce any stress about getting through on time and efficiently. Be sure you only have 3 oz. bottles of liquids, and keep them all in a quart-sized plastic bag when going through security (I tend to keep this in my purse/carry on so it's readily available). Wearing slip-off shoes and socks is a must so you can take your shoes off quickly and not be barefoot.

4. Leave yourself time to relax! Don't feel like you have to rush through security and immediately board, give yourself time to find your gate, relax and maybe find a last minute snack or magazine or other activity for the plane.

5. Have something to do to distract yourself on the plane! I especially love anything that has sound so I don't hear all the weird noises as the landing gear is raised/lowered and vents are adjusted. If you're not used to flying, they can be really scary, so the less you hear the better.

6. Watch everyone around you. When you first take off and start gaining altitude, there's a second there where the engines sounds like they've shut off, but don't panic! I tend to take cues from folks around me, so if you feel like you may be scared, look at everyone around you. If no one else seems worried, you're fine. Trust me on that, if there's something seriously wrong, you would NOT be the only one to notice.

7. Tell the flight attendants (and pilot if you can!) that you're a first-time or nervou flyer. I've seen others do this, and the attendants are sure to come by to check on them and walk them through anything they may be nervous about. And ask lots of questions if you're not sure what is happening or if you're not sure when you're allowed to get up/go to the bathroom, etc. For the most part, I've found if you're nice, the attendants will be nice and helpful

smilesavy · May 2012

Best advice to offer is take a dramamine before you get on the place (about 30 mins)....don't get the non-drowsy stuff...get the real stuf. It takes the edge off and you will nap the whole way there! Works like a charm!!

AurorasEnvy · May 2012

PPs have good advice.

The worst part for me is motion sickness, so I always make sure to take plenty of dramamine and have a window seat. I didn't fly for the first time until I was 19, and I just wasn't prepared for how fast takeoff was.

Otherwise, my mother has/had a terrible fear of flying. She's gotten over it (doesn't like it, but will do it). She has an anti-anxiety medication she takes from her doctor, and when she doesn't do that she has a few drinks. Just a suggestion.

Keep calm, everything will be fine =]

StephBeanWed61502 · May 2012

Agree with everything everyone has said, but just wanted to emphasize what Ali said about getting to the airport more than 90 minutes in advance - TK says you're in NJ, so I'm assuming you're flying out of an NYC-metro-area airport. You need at least 2 hours to get through any of those airports. Also, depending on the airline you are taking, your flight may be going out of the international terminal. Puerto Rico isn't actually international, so you won't have to deal with customs, but international terminals are a bigger PITA than the regular ones to get through, because security is generally heightened even above the usual.

Also, check out the FAA's guidelines for travellers - your life will be much easier if you follow all the rules right from the start. http://www.faa.gov/passengers/prepare_fly/

rungirl12 · May 2012

This may sound like weird advice, but you could "practice" flying ahead of time.

Here's how: look up a skydiving club in your area and call and ask them if they do "ride-alongs" where you ride as a passenger in the airplane. My skydiving club does these for the price of a sport skydive which is $23 at my club. They are usually done by someone who wants to ride along to watch a friend do a tandem. You sit up front with the pilot and ride along. This will get you over your fear fast since a small plane ride is bumpier than a commercial jet AND the door will open for skydivers to get out of the plane (not near you!) Plus, these pilots get the airplane back to the ground as fast as possible once jumpers are out and therefore tend to fly much steeper decents. Just an idea...

alithebride · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_fear-of-flying-what-to-expect?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:b77a8ad0-79b4-400d-bde1-bf876d33bc23Post:b61312d5-a68d-418a-a322-70dc4e4506b5">Re: Fear Of Flying.. What To Expect?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't know if a window seat would be beneficial for you, since you'll be flying over water. Not much to see :)
Posted by MrsKathyC[/QUOTE]

LOL actually most of the flight is over land. The only water is the gulf to PR time :)

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