Pre-wedding Parties

Drama!! Sorry this is long but...

Hi ladies!  So my one and only sister is my MOH.  To be totally honest I really didnt want her but, I felt obligated, we r not close plus i dont think we like each other but have love for each other cuz we r sisters.  I was hers (23 yrs ago) when I was 17 and not a clue what to do, so my mom and the other BM"s stepped up to throw her a bachelortte party. We has a lil girls night at her house with food and drinks, mani/pedi's etc. Well she has always said she wanted to mine but I never said yes or no. When I got engaged 1 1/2 yrs ago she was so happy to finally be a MOH.  Stupid me didnt have the nerve to to say NO!!  Well she hasnt done a single thing to help me with planning, she didnt even go with me to find my dress. It was like pulling teeth to get her to get hers and when we did she was a b**** about it. I told her to get whatever she wanted as long as it was black. I was trying to be cool about the whole thing.  Oh i forgot to mention that she is the only one standing up because i kno how that the more ppl stand up the more drama. Well as my MOH she should be the one to throw the bridal shower and bach party..from the things I've read.  My mom..god bless her... has done everything for the shower, even pay for it. Now its time for bach party and of course has not even attempted to plan anything.  She did send me a text last week to see if it was i even wanted the party etc. I have planned this entire wedding by myself and refuse to help plan a bach party.  She has made it seem its such a inconvenience to be the MOH. My wedding is about 5 wks away and i dont want any regrets on that day but i already have a HUGE one.. my very own sister. I talked to her today and I said to her u havent help me do a thing she had the nerve to say to me i dont have time and I have incurred expense (dress and shoes, which was under $200) for this wedding.  I am appalled!!  My feeling are so hurt by her and I'm afraid I'm growing to hate her, which is so not my nature. What do  I do..let things ride till after or what I Need advice ASAP... 

Re: Drama!! Sorry this is long but...

  • edited December 2011
    It's natural to feel upset that she doesn't seem to want to be involved, but the truth is, she's really not obligated to help you with any part of the wedding, and she isn't responsible for planning or hosting any parties. All she has to do is show up sober, on time, and in the right clothes on the day of the wedding.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_drama-sorry-this-long-but?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:5d52b675-0bfa-4a48-b309-e4d942034a60Post:c1396d6b-58b9-4fe4-a820-859a657692fa">Re: Drama!! Sorry this is long but...</a>:
    [QUOTE]It's natural to feel upset that she doesn't seem to want to be involved, but the truth is, she's really not obligated to help you with any part of the wedding, and she isn't responsible for planning or hosting any parties. All she has to do is show up sober, on time, and in the right clothes on the day of the wedding.
    Posted by CassieeK[/QUOTE]


    Ditto.  My sister is my MOH and hasn't dones anything to help me.  She hsn't helped make decisions or plan things and she will not be throwing me a shower or bachelorette party.  I still love her, she is my sister and I am not the least bit upset about her not doing these things. 
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  • edited December 2011


    "Well she hasnt done a single thing to help me with planning, she didnt even go with me to find my dress".

    "Well as my MOH she should be the one to throw the bridal shower and bach party..from the things I've read.  My mom..god bless her... has done everything for the shower, even pay for it. Now its time for bach party and of course has not even attempted to plan anything."

    I realize this can be frustrating.  But like Cassie and Ally said, the bridal party should not be expected to do anything but show up in the right dress. 
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  • JCM10JCM10 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It's not the MOH's "job" to do anything besides stand there and look pretty. My sister is my MOH too, but won't be able to help plan, or plan any parties, because she's busy with school. It's not a big deal; this is about getting married, not partying all the time. 
  • edited December 2011
    I understand where you are coming from, my sister and I have a strained relationship to say the least.  I actually chose not to have a bridal party, specifically to avoid any drama.  I am perfectly happy with that choice.

    I would say that you should see if any of your friends are willing to start the planning process, maybe help to cohost it.  Even though you aren't having any other bridesmaids I imagine your friends will still be happy to help.  While your sister may be being less than amiable, keep in mind, she has her own responsibilities and stresses too, as well as financial responsibilities. 

    Goodluck!
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  • someday1234someday1234 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My sister is also my MOH and she has done almost as much planning for the wedding as I have. She was the first person to purchase her dress and is in the process of planning both my bridal shower and bach party while she is deployed to IRAQ. there is no excuse for not being a supportive MOH even if she didnt have the time or whatever a small amount of effort instead of acting like it doesn't matter would seem more appropriate. I have 7 other bridesmaids besides my MOH two of which are also sisters who I am not as close with but they would never take the chance of ruining my experience as a bride for their own benefit. I hope that your sister quits being so selfish and devotes a little energy towards your special day. Good luck!
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