What did you change your name to?

Lisa50 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_what-did-you-change-your-name-to?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:624038a6-572e-4436-8ac7-ad1cb4a0112aPost:e785b9dd-9f9c-4bd2-9ff0-67e6da51cc6e">Re: What did you change your name to?</a>:
[QUOTE]First Middle HisLastName I LOVE my middle name, which is very common (Marie), but it is a "family middle name" on both sides of my family. Every girl on my Dad's side except 2 who are sisters (their dad didn't like it) have the same middle name as my grandmother. On my Mom's side I am the oldest grandchild and have my grandmother's middle name as well. SO THATS STAYING. I love my last name and it's rare but not hard to pronounce. However, my FI's soon to be ex SIL hyphenated her last name when his brother got married and they always thought kind of badly of her for doing so. Now there getting a divorce so the family frowns upon it even more. I don't want that. In addition, both last names are 8 letters long and that's a lot to hyphenate and write out. I love my FI last name which is also slightly rare and yet not hard to pronounce. He stole my heart, I'll take his last name :)
Posted by whitneymarie504[/QUOTE]

Let me get this straight. You're marrying into a family that, as a unit, "frowns upon" something as personal as a name change decision and makes it known to the woman joining the family?? Ouch. I don't blame you for doing exactly what they want. They sound somewhat harsh and very, very intimidating. Go along to get along. Good luck.

runpipparun · May 2012

I totally know people who chose a "3rd party" surname from someone back in his family tree. They went from Susie Smith and John Dodson to Susie and John Martin (names changed, obvs).

Interesting...

OwningAHome1981 · May 2012

Def. FH's last name... but I will probably hyphen at work since I'm known by my last name now.

SD210 · May 2012

I plan on doing First Maiden HisLast. My middle is very common (Ann), and I'm not really that attached to it. Professionally, my letterhead will say First Maiden HisLast, as my Maiden is very distinctive and people will figure out "it's me!", only now married.

My FI was actually surprised that I wanted to take his name, given that I am 36 and established professionally, but it was important to me to have the same name as our future kids, and hypenating can cause problems in data bases, etc. (Not that you shouldn't hyphenate, I am just anxious about issues like that). To each his or her own!

expats14 · May 2012

I'm torn. I know I still have time to decide, but I've got a last name with big history behind it, the story of how I got my first and middle names are a huge family story, and I do want to be tied with FI. I'm thinking First, Middle, My last space His last. We're going to have that option abroad, so that may be a choice I can exercise.

Lisa50 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_what-did-you-change-your-name-to?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:624038a6-572e-4436-8ac7-ad1cb4a0112aPost:c32c8eb2-ca12-4efb-bbfb-ff4b2fa5d501">Re: What did you change your name to?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm torn. I know I still have time to decide, but I've got a last name with big history behind it, the story of how I got my first and middle names are a huge family story, and I do want to be tied with FI. I'm thinking First, Middle, My last space His last. We're going to have that option abroad, so that may be a choice I can exercise.
Posted by expats14[/QUOTE]

You have that choice here and abroad. You have the choice to keep your name exactly as it is or change it to anything you want. Most of my friends did not change their last names. Most of my cousins dropped their maiden names and added their husband's. One couple I know created a new last name using letters from both of their last names.

I kept it simple and didn't change a thing.

TBegin1 · May 2012

Thank you for this post. It's nice to know I'm not alone in deciding what to do here.

I just got engaged a week and a half ago and my fiance's mom is already asking about what I'm going to do about my name. Originally I wanted to keep my last name with no changes but my fiance was bummed out by it. I decided I would hyphenate my name to mix my past and future.

When I told my fiance's mom, she was confused and said "But this is your NEW life and it's about leaving your past behind and starting over," and "What will your kids be known as?"

For me, this just doesn't make sense. Why do I want to leave my past behind? I LOVE who I am and where I've come from and I've been known by my last name (it was even a nickname in high school) for 25 years. I am also from a family where there are 6 girls and my last name will eventually be gone.

Hypehnating, to me, is a great way to hold on to your past and start something new!

melisrodis · May 2012

I posted this somewhere else but I'm following a tradition in my culture.

When married, the woman's maiden name becomes a second middle name (used only in official documents and rarely more often than that). So when she gets married, her name becomes first-middle-maiden-married (maiden as 2nd middle). Her kids also keep her maiden name as their second middle name. So my mom's name is first-middle-maiden-married and my name is first-middle-mom's maiden-mom's married/dad's. When I get married, I will drop my mom's maiden name and it will become first-middle-maiden/dad's-married. So my kids will have my maiden name in their name until they some day marry.

I like the idea that we, as a family, will all have the same LAST NAME, but that each kid's name will also reflect my family and who I descended from as well. And then when they start their own families, their names will change slightly but still reflect the family they came from.

I just like it, so that's what I'm doing!

catwine · May 2012

people that are going first-maiden-his last name: are you legally changing your middle name to your maiden name?

I'm getting rid of my maiden name completly because i hate it. i'm the only christina y____ though, and there are a lot of people who will have the same name as me onec i'm christina f____.

OwningAHome1981 · June 2012

Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop

MangoSong · June 2012

I'd prefer to do First Middle His. My mom kept her Maiden name. He actually likes my last name better, and would rather take mine, but I love his last name. So... we'll see what happens.

What did you change your name to?

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