NWR: Beware the boards!

filaw · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_nwr-beware-boards?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:96107484-1b40-4b51-8922-35b3a8aca4eaPost:46ffd42a-3cb9-4a56-96a7-17b21306f115">Re: NWR: Beware the boards!</a>:
[QUOTE]go post the exact same question on, say, Etiquette and find out just how "mean" the WP girls are.
Posted by megk8oz[/QUOTE]

I don't understand this reasoning. They're meaner elsewhere therefore we're the correct amount of meanness here?

They're also gentler elsewhere. I've seen wedding boards where the same advice gets given, just with a gentler push in the right direction.

More flies with honey and all that.

Not saying coddle, but I just don't see why all the hositility is neccessary on some of these posts.

bablingbrooke · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_nwr-beware-boards?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:96107484-1b40-4b51-8922-35b3a8aca4eaPost:0a36c3c6-e558-443c-9640-d65936fda1a4">Re: NWR: Beware the boards!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: NWR: Beware the boards! : I don't understand this reasoning. They're meaner elsewhere therefore we're the correct amount of meanness here? They're also gentler elsewhere. I've seen wedding boards where the same advice gets given, just with a gentler push in the right direction. More flies with honey and all that. Not saying coddle, but I just don't see why all the hositility is neccessary on some of these posts.
Posted by filaw[/QUOTE]
There is no hostility! Refusing to coddle people or tell them their terrible ideas are wonderful and not warning them that going forth with XYZ will cost them a friendship is not hostility. It's NOT. Although I'm feeling pretty hostile toward you frankly for just going around complaining about the regular posters. It's like the internet equivalent of crashing someone's party, breaking a lamp, and slapping the sister. You don't like it here, fine, but don't think you're the first person who's hated the advice here. What always amuses me is that people often find themselves agreeing with the advice. But you're not going to change the tone of a board, and it's really rude to expect everyone to change from being blunt to sugar-coating things just to accommodate your taste. <div>
</div><div>(Seriously, where is vsgal's post about how people start out hating the advice here then eventually begin to agree with it?)</div><div>
</div><div>The point about E is that THAT board truly is more hostile and snarky. Good luck getting your question even answered, rather than just insults. I ask you to C&P actual insults you've seen on this board. I have yet to see anyone actually be able to do that. In other words, people PERCEIVE that there's hostility on here and confuse it with bluntness, but we're saying, "You want to see actual hostility, that's where you want to go."</div>

bablingbrooke · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_nwr-beware-boards?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:96107484-1b40-4b51-8922-35b3a8aca4eaPost:e92cd670-2496-43e4-8f0a-95c1b97acc5c">Re: NWR: Beware the boards!</a>:
[QUOTE]I do not understand people who constantly post over and over about how mean we are and how much we hurt their feelings. Do you do this in real life too? Because, personally, when I find a group of people that I don't like I tend to just walk away.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
Word. If I don't like a message board, I don't go back to it.

filaw · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_nwr-beware-boards?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:96107484-1b40-4b51-8922-35b3a8aca4eaPost:60f7ff26-afc0-4d84-b1eb-9443eee2d71c">Re: NWR: Beware the boards!</a>:
[QUOTE] It's like the internet equivalent of crashing someone's party, breaking a lamp, and slapping the sister. [/QUOTE]

That's not entirely a fair equivolent. Because the regs are not technically the hosts of this party, the Knot is. We're all guests at this party, including the people that disagree with the regs. We're all allowed our turn to speak, unless we break a Knot rule.

[QUOTE]it's really rude to expect everyone to change from being blunt to sugar-coating things just to accommodate your taste.
Posted by bablingbrooke[/QUOTE]

I don't expect anyone to change, but I am allowed to express my view when the topic comes up. Lots of people say, "I don't think it's mean", and some people say "I do". The topic has just happened to come up in several places recently.

bablingbrooke · September 2010

No one is saying you can't express your opinion. Everyone has said the opposite, including me. But painting all the regs with a broad brush of meanness, when you can't even come up with a specific example, is not the same thing. If you don't like the tone of the board, that's too bad--I think you'd learn a lot. But it's your absolute right to not take the advice and then go elsewhere. It is your absolute right to share a different POV and give different advice, just like it's my right to say I disagree with it. It is not your right to demand that everyone else change to suit your tastes and sensitivities. Like pps said, you wouldn't do that IRL and you shouldn't do it here.

heyimbren · September 2010

Honestly, I can't listen to people complain about TK when they won't back up their accusations with proof. I've only ever had one girl quote things that she thought were "mean" after I asked her to provide some proof.

I think I've seen a handful of posts where things got truly out of control and just plain mean. And within those posts, the girls that said the nasty comments actually apologized on their own.

I think most posters get offended when the advice is put so bluntly. i.e. OP asks "Am I being unreasonable for asking my BMs to buy $3000 dresses?? it's MY day!!!"
and people respond with "yes, you're being unreasonable. Did you ask your BMs for their budget? Also, no, it isn't *your* day only."
There's no beating around the bush, and I think too many girls interprete that as being mean or a personal attack on them. No one's trying to be mean to you, but the same questions get asked every week!

NWR: Beware the boards!

Re: NWR: Beware the boards!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards