USMC Sword Arch, Dress Blues, and so many other things...

Lankira · July 2010

I know someone posted a question about the arch earlier, but I have another two:

If all the guys are in tuxes (maybe including my FH), would it still be appropriate to do a sword arch?

Also, we're not going to be getting married on a base (but right by a Navy base), and we'll be one man short of a 6-man arch (unless more Marines show than I expect). Any suggestions that wouldn't break any rules on that?

For uniformity, we're asking the groomsmen (3 former Marines, 2 Active Duty, 1 civvie) to wear tuxes because not all the Marines, AD or otherwise have them (come to think of it, only two of them do, one AD, one former), and a few tuxes + a few Blues may look funny both in photos and at the altar. His tux rental will be free with the guys all renting, but the Blues, I think, would be nice. Especially considering our colors are black and blue. He has no preference, and when I ask he says "what do you want?" So, I'm asking all of you: what do you think?

Lastly, my FH downplays his having been a Marine most of the time in public settings (probably because, though he enlisted at the start of the war in Afghanistan, he was never deployed overseas, but most of his buddies were), but it's a big part of who he is. Any suggestions on incorporating the Marines in a subtle way?

catemeg · July 2010

First, they can't do the sword arch if they're in tuxes. I'm 98.5% sure on this, but others can confirm. The sword is part of the uniform, and can't be used on it's own.

Second, if he downplays his time in the Marines, do you think he really wants it on his wedding day? I'm sure he's proud to no end, as are all Marines I've ever met. And I'm sure it's a big part of his life. But if he downplays it, does he really want it here?

Third, personal opinion is that the sword arch is demeaning. They smack you on the butt and say, "Welcome to the Marines, ma'am". Um, no. My BF/then husband is a Marine, not me. I'm going to be his spouse, and have the life of a military wife, but I am not in the Marines. It is NOT the first memory I want of being a married woman.

mysticl · July 2010

Don't make assumptions about why he downplays his time in the Marines. Ask him. I'm not sure how you would "incoroperate" Marines, it's not a theme, it's a job.

I'm marrying a sailor and he is wearing his dress blues by his choice, I refused to give him an opinion on that one. He decided to wear them because A) he is required to own them so we don't have to rent a tux and

his mom wants to see him in uniform. I'd have to say the same to you, which is going to work best for you? It seems like tuxes may be the easier way to go. As for the arch maybe you can ask around and see if there is a way to get some guys from the local base to come do it rather than having the groomsman/guests do it.

Lankira · July 2010

As to his downplaying his time in the Corps, I've asked and he's never explained, so I'm left guessing. But he has no problems with having our wedding incorporate that part of him. And, once he gets comfortable with people (and around people from other branches of the military), he opens up about it, swapping stories all night sometimes.

As for the butt-smack at the end of the arch, I don't mind. I guess it depends on how you look at it. I see it more as a "Welcome to the family" than a demeaning slap on the butt.

And I do understand that it's not a theme, it's a job. But, as that job has left an imprint on him, a BIG one. Most of our shared friends are his Marine buddies, or Marine buddies of his buddies. We're incorporating the way we met (World of Warcraft) into the wedding without it being a theme (cake topper of our characters). He and I agreed to incorporate a couple USMC traditions into the wedding if we can to incorporate that aspect of him.

We chose the location based on ME and MY family. We chose the main colors half based on him (blue), half on me (black). We're choosing the cake, invitations, overall feel, flowers, etc. based on ME and what I want. He even had me pick out the tuxes, though I gave him a printout of the wedding colors so he could pick them out. I just want him to have more of a part of him involved in this wedding than what he keeps telling me when I ask him what he wants or prefers: "I don't care. Just tell me when and where to show up, and what to wear. I'll be there." I thought that maybe, just maybe, incorporating USMC traditions or the uniform would be a great way to do that.

The only thing that is 100% my fiancé is the getaway car: we'll be renting a 2010 or 2011 Camaro instead of getting a limo.

mysticl · July 2010

Maybe he really just wants whatever you want. Some guys just don't get into all this stuff. Mine cares to a point but but some of the stuff he just looks at me and says "that's all you". He cared about the cake because he doesn't really like cake so he wanted to make sure it was something he would like, but he let me pick the design. He has no desire to be involved in the flowers.

Maybe he's had a bad experience with people finding out he was a Marine and needs to feel people out before he's willing to share that part of him. Some people are downright cruel to our troops. Like those people who go to soldiers funerals and say they got what they deserved.

babyoski1 · July 2010

Question do they really smack ur butt or is that just a marine thing? My fiance is in the Air Force and we wanted the sword arch at our wedding but I dont want to be hit on my butt! please let me know!!! thanks!

Lankira · July 2010

Air Force does the butt-smack too. I have a friend who married a man in the Air Force a few years ago. Sometimes you can have them tap your shoulder with the pommel instead.

catemeg · July 2010

I know my aunt got hit in the butt from an Army arch of swords, too, and I've been told Coast Guard and Navy do it, too. So yes, they all seem to do it. I think it's a nice look, but I'm totally opposed to being swatted on the butt.

minekellyrich · July 2010

Yup, AF does the swatt on the butt; what we are doing is having a friend of ours who is already on a base and in honor gaurd (DH will not be on a base so the friend will be requesting the sabers since tech DH will not have any "right" to ask)

We will be having a half dozen people doing the arch; and we know them all since they are attending and are good friends; its another way they are a part of the wedding and we are showing they mean a lot to us this way as they are our second family now

Also since DH is not on base and has no officers to report to (yet) do we invite his ROTC officers from FL to CT?

We for the saber arch also since they are close to us, we are having his close AF friend doing the saber arch who I know fairly well do the "swat" and yes, its a friendly "hey--you belong now

"...I personally see it not as if its demeaning

I am so proud, and love to see his excitement with the AF coming up!!

CurlyKaty · July 2010

I personally think the pat on the backside is kinda cute. I too see it as a "welcome to the family"

as far as little USMC things to work in.....

-you can get military themed grooms men gifts.
-Check into eagle, globe, and anchor tie tacks or lapel pins
-I have seen USMC garters around
-Are you going to have a cocktail made for your reception? you can name one "The Devil Dog" or "Semper Fi"
-If you are writing your own vows, you can work "Semper Fi" into them....afterall....theres nothing more appropriate to think about at this time than "Always Faithful"
-Eagle, globe and anchor or devil dog grooms cake

btw: Where on earth did you find WOW cake toppers? my marine and I could have some fun with those

Killer Cupcake · July 2010

You can't have people in tuxes do the arch. They have to be in their blues, as someone mentioned before. There are regs on it somewhere, I'm sure. Page Stan, she'll be able to tell you for sure.

If you want to do it, you can call some recruiters in the area and ask them about it or you can have your FI look into getting some guys to do it for you. It doesn't have to be the guys in the bridal party.

skd99000 · July 2010

My FH is a pilot in the Air Force and we did not want an over the top military wedding so we subtly incorporated some UAF into our wedding. I am wearing a sash that I have bought a circular pin that has rinestones on the outside and the inside has an AF pin, I have also put the same pin on my keepsake garter. We have a traditional, simple wedding cake but I have gotten him a surprise groom's cake which is a C-130. Our ceremony is outdorrs with the only military related thing being his mess dress but our reception is in a hangar with restored old planes.

USMC Sword Arch, Dress Blues, and so many other things...

Re: USMC Sword Arch, Dress Blues, and so many other things...

Choose Another Board

Search Boards