What have you learned about FI/ DH?

LeahVB2011 · August 2011

I saw this article on Yahoo about things that surprised wives about their husbands during the first year of marriage. DH and I have on been married two and half months but I feel like I have learned a lot about him just in this short time. The biggest thing is how neat and organized DH is about the house. DH is surprised at how much I despise I hate taking medicine (I'm procrasting now actually) haha.

So what is something that has surprised you about DH or Fi?

iamjoesgurl · August 2011

Most of what Joe does is not surprising to me. But one thing that surprised me on our honeymoon was when we went to a Miami Dolphins game and how protective he was of me. The guy next to me had a little too much to drink and he kept hitting me with his sweaty towel (I don't think he meant to do it, but it was annoying me). Anyway, a few times Joe jumped up and said something to the guy (not in a mean tone, but in a protective tone). Anyway, it was so sweet and that made me really feel like he was my protector.

fpaemp2011 · August 2011

I'm quickly realizing just how much DH struggles with anxiety. He used to call me the night before he preached, etc, and would say he was nervous about it, but now that we're together at night, it's clear just how much it affects him.

He did his first funeral today and hardly slept at all last night. Woke up sick and really nervous. I know all I can do is pray for him and offer support however he needs it, but I wish I could just take it away.

Also-- he talks in his sleep. It's pretty funny sometimes.

AshNoel8 · August 2011

Once H is asleep, he's ASLEEP! It's really hard to wake him up. And if he falls asleep watching TV or something and I say, "Are you sleeping?", he always says, "A little bit." How do you little bit sleep? Haha.

DramaGeek · August 2011

H talks in his sleep. I had no idea. When he was little he would sleep walk and talk but his mom didn't realize it continued into adulthood so she didn't think to mention it to me. The first time it happened we'd only been marred a couple of weeks and I was so confused because the conversation made no sense!

Also, the man doesn't know how to close cupboards. That's the only reason I can think of, because any time he's putting dishes away or making himself something to eat, there will be 5 cupboard doors open when he's done, and he just walks away from it! He honestly has no clue he's doing it.

Of course, I'm not perfect. H has learned that I love to have all of the lights in the house on when I'm home and that I have a ton of shoes that I rarely put away.

mrandmrsbrist · August 2011

I don't feel like I can answer this very well yet...hmm.

Maybe that he's a procrastinator as much as I am?

SoonToBeGenao · August 2011

One of the things that I needed to learn/kinda surprised me about FI is his desire to have "alone time". I always talk to him about birth order (if you haven't read a birth order study- do so, its almost always right.)

I am the oldest child and for some reason I can't stand to be alone. If FI is out for the night/has to work late/ hanging out after work- I can't stand to be in the apartment by myself. I either need to distract myself and be really busy... or I go to my parent's house. As long as I'm alive, I can't remember a time I've had to be alone. My parents, sister, grandma- someone was ALWAYS around. And if I get left alone- I get very lonely.

FI on the other hand is an only child. He spend many many years by himself. Playing by himself as a child, and being left alone. He really appreciates having time to himself. Unlike me, he doesn't mind to be left alone, and actually likes it every now and then (don't get me wrong, he loves to have me around too- he just doesn't get upset if he has to be in the apartment by himself)

I would always feel bad about working late, going out with the girls and leaving him alone... what I had to learn is that he loves it... and its ok with him.

FaithCaitlin · August 2011

In our almost 6 years together, I've learned so much about FI. We have spent weeks together on end so I know first hand the he rocks himself to sleep!! He shakes the whole bed and it drives me nuts! Secretly, I kick him when he's rocking.. not hard! But, I do kick him which usually wakes him up and stops the rocking... I pretend I'm asleep though,

!

Also, FI just started a new job. He works 8:30-5:30 Monday thru Friday and has to get up at 7am. He cannot wake up that early. AND, he's a big grump when he comes home because he's tired.

FI also likes to do his own thing a lot, which used to upset me because all I wanted to do was be with him. Now, I've come to like my alone time as well but not as much as FI does.

FI likes to take lukewarm showers, I like steamy, hot showers.

FI leaves all the lights and fans on when he leaves a room...

Of course, I'm sure I'll learn even more when we are married but at this point, I feel like I know FI's habits pretty well.

[Deleted User] · August 2011

he snores.

haha! he totally didn't think he did, but oh... he does.

sessionswedding · August 2011

FI cannot learn which doors to open and which doors to close. In order to keep cooling costs down, you keep doors to rooms like closets and laundry areas (which do not have air vents) closed, and you leave doors to rooms like bedrooms (which do have vents) open. We had a talk last night where I tried to help him remember which is which, then I wake up this morning to the bedroom and bathroom closed and a closet open. *facepalm* He really just can't remember which ones to close. I'll eventually get it through his head, lol.

I learned that FI and I are polar opposites for shower preferences. I like high water pressure and a temperature so hot you could just about boil a crab in it. I can always tell when FI has been in the shower, because the shower head is set to "needle" (low pressure) and the temperature knob is at the lukewarm position.

I also learned that FI is a selfish sleeper. I wake up in the middle of the night with practically no part of the comforter left (because FI has it all) and FI will be all up in my space, lol. I woke up at 2:00 this morning to FI's elbow literally inches from my face. He seems to roll off his pillows to the middle of the bed and eventually onto my side. It's kinda funny actually, haha.

yodacub · August 2011

FI often falls asleep when we are watching tv. I know this because he starts to snore. Once the show is over, he ususally wakes back up, and I'll say "Are you sleepy?" He always pretends that he was wide awake the whole time, until I point out the snoring. It's become something of a joke between us

FI also appreciates his "alone time" but then so do I. It's more evidant right now that he needs it since he lives with his parents and gets little time alone, whereas I live all by myself and get all the alone time I need. Once we're married we both know we have to be respectful of the other's need to be alone and back off when necessary.

ochemjenn · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_learned-fi-dh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:ba35c593-eda4-43ef-8a43-c3ba12993b41Post:17cd1afc-5240-4ede-8344-5133772adc77">Re: What have you learned about FI/ DH?</a>:
[QUOTE]H talks in his sleep. I had no idea. When he was little he would sleep walk and talk but his mom didn't realize it continued into adulthood so she didn't think to mention it to me. The first time it happened we'd only been marred a couple of weeks and I was so confused because the conversation made no sense! <strong>Also, the man doesn't know how to close cupboards. That's the only reason I can think of, because any time he's putting dishes away or making himself something to eat, there will be 5 cupboard doors open when he's done, and he just walks away from it!</strong> He honestly has no clue he's doing it. Of course, I'm not perfect. H has learned that I love to have all of the lights in the house on when I'm home and that I have a ton of shoes that I rarely put away.
Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]

I'm always leaving cabinets open, and it drives DH nuts.

For those of you who have a DH/FI who talks in his sleep, have you ever tried carrying on a conversation with him. DH talks in his sleep, and he'll respond. Most recently:
DH: Lavern is green!
me: Why is Lavern green?
DH: She-she painted herself green?
me: Why did Lavern paint herself green? (I learned I had to ask very specific questions)
DH: Guinea pig conference!

Usually when he talks in his sleep it's about Lavern. Lavern ois actually beige and white:

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letyourselfgo · August 2011

Since FI has moved in:

1. He is a neat freak. I knew that already, but I had no idea to what extent.
2. He likes the A/C and fans on as much as possible. I had no clue. I just dealt with it and took blankets on or off, depending on the situation.
3. He likes me to be awake and ready to greet him when he comes home from work. I was used to going to bed whenever I liked, and sometimes it's hard for me to stay up an hour and a half past my usual bedtime.
4. He likes to have "us" time when he gets home. No interruptions. I'm used to calling my Mom or my friends whenever and talking with them for a long time about absolutely nothing.
5. To him,Sunday is "church day". So, Sunday's are for church and family. Not hanging out with friends and going out with them. Very different than I am used to.

There is more, but I'll end here.

kcadonau · August 2011

DH brushes his teeth with warm water. i dunno how weird that actually is, but it was weird to me. he sleeps with a fan running, which i've gotten used to. also, i'm SO jealous of how fast he falls asleep, its ridiculous!

i kind of wish he talked in his sleep cuz judging from what he's told me about his dreams, it would be pretty interesting, although he only snores sometimes so that's good.
ooh, i also learned that he hates spiders just as much as i do (we had a spider problem a while ago but he was my hero and killed them even though he hates them too

and he is very particular about our pillows staying on our own sides of the bed at night. there's a line/seam on our headboard that goes right down the middle and if mine is over the line, he'll move it back to 'my' side so i'm not invading his sleeping space, lol!

mrandmrsbrist · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_learned-fi-dh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:ba35c593-eda4-43ef-8a43-c3ba12993b41Post:297c6780-1454-4141-8908-7531d87c728b">Re: What have you learned about FI/ DH?</a>:
[QUOTE]I also learned that FI is a selfish sleeper. I wake up in the middle of the night with practically no part of the comforter left (because FI has it all) and FI will be all up in my space, lol. I woke up at 2:00 this morning to FI's elbow literally inches from my face. He seems to roll off his pillows to the middle of the bed and eventually onto my side. It's kinda funny actually, haha.
Posted by sessionswedding[/QUOTE]

This is H. I don't know how many times I've talked to him about it in the last week and a half, but he still does it. I don't know if he's aware of it or what.

One thing his mom suggested when we first got married was to get two single comforters of the same design instead of one large one. He still tried to steal mine, but I just yank it back ;)

mrandmrsbrist · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_learned-fi-dh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:ba35c593-eda4-43ef-8a43-c3ba12993b41Post:ee397cad-52f9-4131-a479-161e803ec882">Re: What have you learned about FI/ DH?</a>:
[QUOTE]he sleeps with a fan running, which i've gotten used to.
Posted by kcadonau[/QUOTE]

My parents got me started on using a fan. I took it to college and both my roommates couldn't sleep without one after they went home. I gave it up because H needs quiet to sleep...I miss my fan!

kalizoomba · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_learned-fi-dh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:ba35c593-eda4-43ef-8a43-c3ba12993b41Post:00f9629c-0a77-475b-9a5b-f9fb6276c316">Re: What have you learned about FI/ DH?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What have you learned about FI/ DH? : This is H. I don't know how many times I've talked to him about it in the last week and a half, but he still does it. I don't know if he's aware of it or what. One thing his mom suggested when we first got married was to <strong>get two single comforters of the same design instead of one large one.</strong> He still tried to steal mine, but I just yank it back ;)
Posted by mrandmrsbrist[/QUOTE]

<div>I thought about doing this. I like my blankets. I've never shared a bed with anyone except my mom sometimes in hotel room on our family trips, but I always had to ask for an extra blanket - this helped me sleep in the bed at least. Before that, I ended up moving to the floor because I'd stretch out under the blanket and hit her foot or something and it'd freak me out. If there was a blanket in between our feet it was okay. </div>

ochemjenn · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_learned-fi-dh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:ba35c593-eda4-43ef-8a43-c3ba12993b41Post:ee397cad-52f9-4131-a479-161e803ec882">Re: What have you learned about FI/ DH?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>DH brushes his teeth with warm water</strong>. i dunno how weird that actually is, but it was weird to me. he sleeps with a fan running, which i've gotten used to. also, i'm SO jealous of how fast he falls asleep, its ridiculous! i kind of wish he talked in his sleep cuz judging from what he's told me about his dreams, it would be pretty interesting, although he only snores sometimes so that's good. ooh, i also learned that he hates spiders just as much as i do (we had a spider problem a while ago but he was my hero and killed them even though he hates them too :) and he is very particular about our pillows staying on our own sides of the bed at night. there's a line/seam on our headboard that goes right down the middle and if mine is over the line, he'll move it back to 'my' side so i'm not invading his sleeping space, lol!
Posted by kcadonau[/QUOTE]

In my book, that's weird!!

xstarx05x · August 2011

hahaha i'm cacking myself reading these cuz I can relate to so many!!

DH falls asleep immediately (quite often while something I wanted to watch is on tv), snores & talks in his sleep (one time he told me "the number 13 is getting married"), he "burritos" the blankets (we have a king size, which helps), doesn't like bedsheets, has to have his feet sticking out like a hobbit, likes having the fan on at night, leaves 1000 "doll socks" (ankle socks) all over the house, pants come off as soon as he enters the house, leaves soupy bowls in the sink (he's gotten better at this), likes lukewarm showers, has to have a certain amount of alone time, i knew this before we were married but he's very afraid of heights... what else can i think of that isn't too personal? lol

Fortunately I'm a heavy sleeper so once I'm asleep nothing bothers me, and i like to be completely under the blanket with my feet tucked in, and i like nice sauna-like showers. I swear I'm cold blooded. I need heat for energy! We're almost exactly like SoonToBeGenao said... I hate being alone and I'm the oldest (but he's definitely not an only child... youngest of 7) and I used to do whatever I could to not be home alone... friends, errands, parents' house... lol I've gotten used to it tho.

sessionswedding · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_learned-fi-dh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:ba35c593-eda4-43ef-8a43-c3ba12993b41Post:00f9629c-0a77-475b-9a5b-f9fb6276c316">Re: What have you learned about FI/ DH?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What have you learned about FI/ DH? : This is H. I don't know how many times I've talked to him about it in the last week and a half, but he still does it. I don't know if he's aware of it or what. One thing his mom suggested when we first got married was to get two single comforters of the same design instead of one large one. He still tried to steal mine, but I just yank it back ;)
Posted by mrandmrsbrist[/QUOTE]
Two comforters might solve the problem with FI being a cover hog. But again this morning I woke up with FI so close to me I actually had to roll him over like a log so I could turn onto my side, LOL. Funny enough, his pillows actually came over with him this morning. Our pillows were touching. And I noticed that after I got out of bed to get ready for work (which woke him up a little), he went all the way to the very edge of his side. Really? Lol.

xstarx05x · August 2011

Hahaha Sessions I get violent with him f he invades my space while I'm asleep! I have to log roll him over too lol and his elbows!! I joke to him about "all his elbows" at night! Sometimes he sleeps with his hands behind his head and he'll hit me in the head, sometimes my eye, in my sleep, and I violently throw his arm out of the way. He has no idea tho. We're very spastic sleepers

sessionswedding · August 2011

I told FI he needs to "quit gettin' all up in my grill" at night. He thought it was hillarious, but no change. I think subconsciously, he's mad at me for taking "his side." When we both lived with our parents, I had a queen bed and he had a full, so we both had a "side" we slept on in our own beds. If you're standing at the foot of the bed looking up to the headboard, we BOTH slept on the left side of our individual beds. In our shared bed, I took the left side and made him take the right. Awake he says he doesn't care. Asleep he begs to differ, lol.

ETA: I think I might stick a hidden camera in the bedroom somewhere to see if he takes the left side after I leave for work, lol.

aggiebug · August 2011

That once he is alseep he is alseep. I tease him that no one better sneak in to the house in the middle of the night, because he wouldn't be able to save me. I could do jumping jacks on the bed and he wouldn't notice.

He also likes to cuddle in his sleep. I hate it. So I typically end up elbowing him back to his side of the bed. He never remembers in the morning.

He likes boiling hot showers, I like lukewarm.

What have you learned about FI/ DH?

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