I need some help

AmoroAgain · February 2010

I have been fighting the good fight ALL DAY on International Nesties about people getting married legally and then having their "wedding". Now, I'm going to preface this by saying that to me, there are exceptions, and one of those exceptions is visas when you're marrying someone who is from a different country and you've already planned a wedding, blah blah, but because of stupid INS rules, you end up having to sign the paper faster.

They will not STFU about it, and I've refrained from asking for help from you guys cause I thought they'd be reasonable. HOURS LATER someone comes on and makes another post and takes ANOTHER swipe at me. Understand,, they all dislike me over there, so now they're just doing it to go after me. So, here's the post, have fun if you like.

http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/31283864/ShowThread.aspx#31283864

SarahPLiz · February 2010

I can't figure out which camp you are in from that thread. I know that if we had gotten married in Romania like I initially wanted to, we would have gone to the courthouse and then straight to the church. THat's how its done there. Sometimes there is even a day or so difference. However, in the US, the church and the courthouse are equal entities where legal marriage is concerned, so we don't have 2 different ceremonies here.

I agree to do it over a year later is shady, though.

ETA: Nevermind, I re read your post with the correct formatting and now I understand. I'm inthe same camp as you are.

Stackeye210 · February 2010

So it was perfectly ok to LIE blatantly to family and friends that they supposedly love so much? I couldn't begin to get involved in a discussion with someone so dense.

It's never ok to deny you're married when you already are. PERIOD

sarabellam · February 2010

Bah, humbug. The nest is blocked at work for me, but not the knot. Go figure.

AmoroAgain · February 2010

I was really trying to not repost over here because I know the opinions are strong, but I'm so over it now. They've decided to disagree with me and want to hammer it out over and freaking over again.

Dammit Sara, how does that work?! lol

AmoroAgain · February 2010

http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/31258500.aspx

Here's the thread that started it all.

Aww.. I kind of hoped there would be more response. They've been hammering at me for 5 hours now.

aMrsin09 · February 2010

Amoro, I saw that thread earlier and just backed slowely away from the keyboard...

Although, in her situation, where INS was going to prevent the groom from even being able to attend the planned wedding, I think it is OK, although she should NEVER lie about it. And I'm not sure what the rush is, she has 5 months until the wedding. INS might be able to get it together by then.

Nebb · February 2010

Well according to "wise"-rita, I dont get to have an opinion because I havnt experienced it so unfortunately I guess that means I cant comment amoro. Ive never had an abortion, been affected by murder or natural disaster or had cancer, so I guess those topics are all off limits too because ive never experienced them.

AmoroAgain · February 2010

Mrs, that was the whole freaking point of what I said. Come on, I did it for you, you can do it for me. For reals.

wadingmoose · February 2010

Woah. It looks like the list of things I can have an opinion on is pretty small.

AmoroAgain · February 2010

Oh yes. And that, my dears, is why I'm so disliked over there.

aMrsin09 · February 2010

ugh, I have to wade back into the hornets nest? Let me read it...

aMrsin09 · February 2010

I jumped into the fray, but it was in the first link you posted, which I don't think was the orginal thread.

Stackeye210 · February 2010

LOL - I'm going to get a flaming, "do we know you" remark.

I just don't get why people can't understand that it's LYING!!!!

SarahPLiz · February 2010

Nugget Brain got one of those "Do we know you?" comments. I fully expect one. I'm happy I don't know people like that.

AmoroAgain · February 2010

BUT LYING IS OKAY IF YOU THINK IT'S OKAY.

I'm really starting to hate a couple of them.

Stackeye210 · February 2010

Amoro - apparently they just lie so much they believe themselves. So they even believe their anniversary is their pretty princess day.

psichick · February 2010

do these people seriously think that a marriage is defined by having a party?

i also think that they don't understand the difference between a legal and a religous marriage, as you pointed out. for them the true "marriage" is the day of the party, which is NOT when a marriage starts if you sign the papers earlier.

ivystar57 · February 2010

ROAR!

I revoke my balloon tank from the IN board. THEY CAN'T HAVE IT.

AmoroAgain · February 2010

OHOH!! I forgot to mention. I posted an example for them of what I get pissed about. This was a woman who is on public assistance, with a baby, and got married a couple of years ago at the JOP. Because they have "money" now, they want to have a wedding. Um, WTF? I'm sorry, I'm not paying for your fucking dress when you can't afford to buy food.

Anyway, I was told that I was wrong for thinking that. They can go screw themselves.

NuggetBrain · February 2010

It's like beating my head against a brick wall encased in concrete and titanium, garnished with just a hint of barbed wire.

ivystar57 · February 2010

at least you make sense, Nugget.....

I still want to cut people.

AmoroAgain · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:30410231-d751-481d-8ff8-7a66f03b6db8Post:bebbe5ed-77ce-47c9-b026-ed55e7be0293">Re: I need some help</a>:
[QUOTE]It's like beating my head against a brick wall encased in concrete and titanium, garnished with just a hint of barbed wire.
Posted by NuggetBrain[/QUOTE]

Now you know why I finally caved and asked you guys for help. This has been going on all day. I'm tired, I'm annoyed, and I'm really freaking pissed off.

I wuv you Nuggs. You're so clearly cool and logical. lol And then Ivy comes through and RAAAWR. :D

JessAndTrav · February 2010

How do you deal with them? Now the mod wants to delete the thread? Lametastic.

AmoroAgain · February 2010

They're not usually so ridiculous. I knew she was going to delete as it started happening.

ivystar57 · February 2010

oh son of a.... it got deleted...

JessAndTrav · February 2010

Amoro, I thought this thread was dead, so I did a callout. But I've since changed it.

Do they delete regularly over there?

AmoroAgain · February 2010

Only since I came around, which was to point in the mods WARNING thread.

JessAndTrav · February 2010

I really did want to know if that one girl really still breastfeeds her toddler. Had she said yes, I would have just been like, "Oh, neat."

But in reality, it would have been like, "WTF. Disgusting."

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · February 2010

Assuming the wedding is the big deal to the couple and the legal thing was just an administrative convenience (for visa issues, insurance concerns, etc), why on earth would that bother someone?

Um, I don't know, because it IS your LEGAL MARRIAGE. Either you are for marriage or you aren't. And if you are getting married I assume you believe in marriage.

I understand how some people can't get how we get SO pissed off over this. Yeah, if some rando somewhere has 2 weddings it won't affect me. But if it was someone I knew and it DID affect me, I'm just sayin' - I'd be pissed.

sashajm · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:30410231-d751-481d-8ff8-7a66f03b6db8Post:4b2151ec-cced-4bed-a42b-5b908ee63156">Re: I need some help</a>:
[QUOTE]Amoro, I saw that thread earlier and just backed slowely away from the keyboard... Although, in her situation, where INS was going to prevent the groom from even being able to attend the planned wedding, I think it is OK, although she should NEVER lie about it. And I'm not sure what the rush is, she has 5 months until the wedding. INS might be able to get it together by then.
Posted by aMrsin09[/QUOTE]

Five months is nothing in the land of immigration officials. They can happily take more than a year to decide on whether or not an application is to be approved or denied. And her fiance is from Ethiopia which makes it even more likely that the visa process will take a long long time.

I need some help

Re: I need some help

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