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Wedding Etiquette Forum

in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar.....

Yesterday FI and I attended the baptism of FI's niece.  Afterwards there was a reception at a restaurant.  We arrived and there were 2 bottles of wine on each table, one red, one white.  In the room we were in there was also a bar which I went up to get some water.  My FSIL (not the one who had her baby baptized) was behind me and ordered a beer for her H and a mixed drink for herself.  A few seconds later she walked over to our table to see if any of us had cash because it was not an open bar.  Luckily FI had money on him, but it was pretty awkward for FSIL to have to leave the bar to get money to pay for the drinks and would have been even worse if no one had cash on them.  Then to top it off the beer was warm and the mixed drink had way to much alcohol in it. 

So yeah.  If you are having any event where only certain things are hosted (wine, water, soda, juice, etc) make sure there are signs up with what is hosted.  Our table was right by the bar and we watched quite a few people have to give their drink back because they didn't know it wasn't free and had no cash on them.
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Re: in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar.....

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_in-case-anyone-needs-one-more-reason-not-to-do-a-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4a1863df-0990-44ca-bc88-3311cd918d12Post:f89ec52b-2e63-4a24-b8b6-3b34de76191d">in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar.....</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yesterday FI and I attended the baptism of FI's niece.  Afterwards there was a reception at a restaurant.  We arrived and there were 2 bottles of wine on each table, one red, one white.  In the room we were in there was also a bar which I went up to get some water.  My FSIL (not the one who had her baby baptized) was behind me and ordered a beer for her H and a mixed drink for herself.  A few seconds later she walked over to our table to see if any of us had cash because it was not an open bar.  Luckily FI had money on him, but it was pretty awkward for FSIL to have to leave the bar to get money to pay for the drinks and would have been even worse if no one had cash on them.  Then to top it off the beer was warm and the mixed drink had way to much alcohol in it.  So yeah.  If you are having any event where only certain things are hosted (wine, water, soda, juice, etc) make sure there are signs up with what is hosted. <strong> Our table was right by the bar and we watched quite a few people have to give their drink back because they didn't know it wasn't free and had no cash on them.</strong>
    Posted by SB1512[/QUOTE]
    Super awkward..

    I dont' think it's bad to have a cash bar when it's at a restaurant for a baptism. I mean, the bar just happens to be there because it's part of the restaurant I'm guessing, right?
    A sign of what was hosted could have helped ease the awkwardness. Although I don't think a lot of people would have bothered reading the sign.
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  • awkward.


    I think there would be riot if there was not an open bar at any of my family functions.  







    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_in-case-anyone-needs-one-more-reason-not-to-do-a-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4a1863df-0990-44ca-bc88-3311cd918d12Post:51f89171-9db5-409a-b81e-75682b7b75a9">Re: in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar.....</a>:
    [QUOTE]It's bad to have a cash bar for any event where guests were invited by a host.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]
    Was the restaurant closed off to other guests?
    I mean, I went to a bridal shower at a restaurant. Soda, coffee, tea, juices and wines were hosted. If you wanted a mixed drink or a beer or something, you had to go to a bar and get it. In effect, it was a cash bar, but it wasn't anything the hosts wanted. It's just that they couldn't afford to have a fully stocked bar for the guests AND have the bar hidden or shut down. I guess they could have physically kept the guests from going up to the bar, of course lol.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_in-case-anyone-needs-one-more-reason-not-to-do-a-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4a1863df-0990-44ca-bc88-3311cd918d12Post:3b03f797-14ca-4dd1-a2a2-f6d49399ed3a">Re: in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar.....</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar..... : Was the restaurant closed off to other guests? I mean, I went to a bridal shower at a restaurant. Soda, coffee, tea, juices and wines were hosted. If you wanted a mixed drink or a beer or something, you had to go to a bar and get it. In effect, it was a cash bar, but it wasn't anything the hosts wanted. It's just that they couldn't afford to have a fully stocked bar for the guests AND have the bar hidden or shut down. I guess they could have physically kept the guests from going up to the bar, of course lol.
    Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

    Or, they could have hosted the event at another location, where they could host what they could afford, and not have a full bar available. 

    If your event is in a private room, and someone leaves the room to go get something in another part of the venue or restaurant, then I guess it's fine for them not to cover those drinks. But, if the bar is basically in the same room as the event, I really think the host needs to cover those expenses. 

    We always say here that it's all about choices.  We make a choice where to host an event (reception, shower, baptism, etc.).  If they couldn't afford, or didn't want to host the bar, they might have selected another venue that didn't have a full bar staring their guests in the face.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_in-case-anyone-needs-one-more-reason-not-to-do-a-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4a1863df-0990-44ca-bc88-3311cd918d12Post:4212dd12-8861-4125-a261-cd4846a9d3f5">Re: in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar.....</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar..... : <strong>Or, they could have hosted the event at another location, where they could host what they could afford, and not have a full bar available.</strong>  If your event is in a private room, and someone leaves the room to go get something in another part of the venue or restaurant, then I guess it's fine for them not to cover those drinks. But, if the bar is basically in the same room as the event, I really think the host needs to cover those expenses.  We always say here that it's all about choices.  We make a choice where to host an event (reception, shower, baptism, etc.).  If they couldn't afford, or didn't want to host the bar, they might have selected another venue that didn't have a full bar staring their guests in the face.
    Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

    <div>that's what my family/friends do.</div><div>
    </div>






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_in-case-anyone-needs-one-more-reason-not-to-do-a-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4a1863df-0990-44ca-bc88-3311cd918d12Post:4212dd12-8861-4125-a261-cd4846a9d3f5">Re: in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar.....</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar..... : Or, they could have hosted the event at another location, where they could host what they could afford, and not have a full bar available.  If your event is in a private room, and someone leaves the room to go get something in another part of the venue or restaurant, then I guess it's fine for them not to cover those drinks. But, if the bar is basically in the same room as the event, I really think the host needs to cover those expenses.  We always say here that it's all about choices.  We make a choice where to host an event (reception, shower, baptism, etc.).  If they couldn't afford, or didn't want to host the bar, they might have selected another venue that didn't have a full bar staring their guests in the face.
    Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]
    I disagree. The place where the tables were set up was set off to the side and somewhat seperated by a half wall and a small flight of stairs. You did have to pass the bar to get to the tables, though. I think a few cousins had a drink before the bride showed up.

    I also went to a birthday party where the bar was at the entrance of the restaurant. The party itself was in another room. I dont' think it even occured to us to care or want a drink.

    Restaurants are a popular location to have a party. Bars are sometimes in restaurants. I encourage people to host what they can afford. While I don't think anyone should have a cash bar, sometimes a catering hall, where the bar/hard liquor/beer/etc can be hidden, isn't financially ideal.
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  • my family must be old fashion.  We still hold most events at home or a DIY type venue.    If we do have it at a restaurant we either lower the guest list number to afford to host everything or we pick a venue where we can afford everything with our guest list.

    Putting our guests next to an un-hosted bar would just be asking for trouble.  In a private room would be okay.  Out-of-site out-of-mind type thing.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_in-case-anyone-needs-one-more-reason-not-to-do-a-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4a1863df-0990-44ca-bc88-3311cd918d12Post:0cf2b895-5ef5-4bdd-ac70-8fe753cf9fc2">Re: in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar.....</a>:
    [QUOTE]Or they could have just paid the bar tab. My mom wasn't planning on hosting a bar at my shower (it was lunch), but people ordered drinks and she paid for them. What was she going to do, have the waiter put it on another check and hand it to them? If there is a bar with a bartender behind it at your event, be prepared to pay for the drinks people order.
    Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]
    Out of curiosity, what is the best way for the bartender to tell the guests from one party from the guests from another party or from the rest of the restaurant guests?
    Also, is there a way for the hosts to guarantee that they are truly only paying for what their own guests ordered and not from what other guests have ordered at the end of the party when they receive the tab?
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_in-case-anyone-needs-one-more-reason-not-to-do-a-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4a1863df-0990-44ca-bc88-3311cd918d12Post:a3ef96d2-1a8f-44cf-9295-ca1ee755ea83">Re: in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar.....</a>:
    [QUOTE]The drinks were ordered at the table. They weren't on the menu, people just ordered cocktails. Bartenders are usually good at keeping track of who ordered what. Lots of people open tabs at busy bars, it is the bartenders job to keep track of who orders what.
    Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]
    At least one place told us to specifically go up to the bar if we wanted anything other than what was offered.
    Does the bartender usually know who is from which party or if they're even from a party? I mean, I'm especially curious about the place where the bar was in the entrance of the restaurant.... when you first walk in there is a bar with a few stools. Then you go into the restaurant area. Then you go into the private room all the way at the back.
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  • Question:

    I'm from a state (not MN) where cash bars are commonplace, but that's beside the point. For my wedding, my parents are much more fixated on having a lot of people in attendance over giving them unlimited alcohol. We'll have beer, wine and a few select drinks from cocktail hour until 10:30 pm (the wedding will last until midnight). I've been told by various people from outside my home state that not having a full open bar isn't proper and that expecting guests to pay for their own mixed drinks makes me a bad hostess - but I don't have the budget for a fully open bar. Does budget and the fact that I at least are giving guests SOME alcoholic drinks make my half cash/half open bar permissible?
  • Did the bar not take cards? I think cash bars are awful and whatnot, but I think it is weird that a bar in a restaurant didn't take credit/debit cards.
  • Theres nothing wrong with a cash bar. Not everyone can afford for you to drink on their dime. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker There is no right or wrong way to have a wedding.
  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited December 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_in-case-anyone-needs-one-more-reason-not-to-do-a-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4a1863df-0990-44ca-bc88-3311cd918d12Post:69577c11-5abd-482a-8f1d-103cdebd30f8">Re: in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar.....</a>:
    [QUOTE]Question: I'm from a state (not MN) where cash bars are commonplace, but that's beside the point. For my wedding, my parents are much more fixated on having a lot of people in attendance over giving them unlimited alcohol. We'll have beer, wine and a few select drinks from cocktail hour until 10:30 pm (the wedding will last until midnight). I've been told by various people from outside my home state that not having a full open bar isn't proper and that expecting guests to pay for their own mixed drinks makes me a bad hostess - but I don't have the budget for a fully open bar. Does budget and the fact that I at least are giving guests SOME alcoholic drinks make my half cash/half open bar permissible?
    Posted by waywardgirl[/QUOTE]



    No, that is not ok. Guests should never have to open their wallets at a party you are hosting. You don't have to provide all kinds of alcohol. You don't even have to provide ANY if you can't afford it. You host what you CAN afford.One of the reasons we held our wedding in the morning was to avoid having to provide a lot of alcohol. If it had been at night, we, and our guests would have wanted and expected more. We made a choice not to do that and had the limited cocktails we could afford.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • In Response to Re:in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar.....:[QUOTE]Theres nothing wrong with a cash bar. Not everyone can afford for you to drink on their dime.nbsp; Posted by handheld[/QUOTE]
    Please, stop giving advice that is blatantly against etiquette.

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_in-case-anyone-needs-one-more-reason-not-to-do-a-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4a1863df-0990-44ca-bc88-3311cd918d12Post:978c8dfa-701a-436a-a4df-771a5410e7c1">Re: in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar.....</a>:
    [QUOTE]Theres nothing wrong with a cash bar. Not everyone can afford for you to drink on their dime. 
    Posted by handheld[/QUOTE]



    Which is why you provide what you CAN afford. It's just that simple.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • In Response to Re:in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar.....:[QUOTE]Theres nothing wrong with a cash bar. Not everyone can afford for you to drink on their dime.nbsp; Posted by handheld[/QUOTE]
    Also, completely missing the point of the point of the OP and the entire thread ensuing: party of you.

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  • So if we provide beer wine and two cocktails for guests to choose from (say a sidecar and mint julep), and a guest wants something else, they shouldn't be able to get it - even if they're willing to pay cash?

    Just want to make sure I'm not going to irk any guests! :)
  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited December 2012
    No. You aren't giving them additional food options if they are willing to pay for it, are you? If they came to your home for a dinner party, they would eat and drink what was there. It's kind of the same thing, just on a larger scale. If people want drinks that aren't available, they can go out later and order them somewhere else.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_in-case-anyone-needs-one-more-reason-not-to-do-a-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4a1863df-0990-44ca-bc88-3311cd918d12Post:d7b20473-13f8-4b46-a237-0fb0cb8b39f2">Re: in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar.....</a>:
    [QUOTE]No. You aren't giving them additional food options if they are willing to pay for it, are you? If they came to your home for a dinner party, they would eat and drink what was there. It's kind of the same thing, just on a larger scale. If people want drinks that aren't available, they can go out later and order them somewhere else.
    Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

    <div>Really, really great point. Thank you!!</div>
  • Im sorry I dont see a law any where that says you must allow guests to drink booze on your dime. if non alcholiic beverages are provided there is nothing wrong with  cash bar. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker There is no right or wrong way to have a wedding.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_in-case-anyone-needs-one-more-reason-not-to-do-a-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4a1863df-0990-44ca-bc88-3311cd918d12Post:105fb6b9-a17d-48c6-8834-3ca5dda0abdc">Re: in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar.....</a>:
    [QUOTE]Im sorry I dont see a law any where that says you must allow guests to drink booze on your dime. if non alcholiic beverages are provided there is nothing wrong with  cash bar. 
    Posted by handheld[/QUOTE]



    There is also no law that says alcohol must be available for purchase and/or consumption at a wedding reception. If you can't afford the booze, DO. NOT. HAVE. ANY. Seriously. It really is just that simple.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • I think there are certain cases in which a cash bar is ok. Last year two friends got married, and they come from very different families. The brides grandfather is a preacher and the entire family is pretty hollyroller and do not drink nor really approve of it, and since they paid for the majority of the wedding I can see why they did not offer alcohol. However the grooms family is pretty opposite. They all enjoy drinking, especially at celebratory events such as this. We all knew going in that for this reason it would be a cash bar, and for this couple it totally made sense. The bar was in the event space but in another room right beside the main reception space, but it did have smaller decorated cocktail tables in it so you knew it was a part of there reception. I was glad to at least have the option to drink and that the family's religious views on alcohol were not forced on their guests, and did not mind paying for my drinks in said situation. For a religious event like a baptism, especially a childs, I fully understand not having an open bar. I honestly would not expect an open bar at a a babies baptism celebration. But I do agree with OP that some sort of heads up about it would be nice to avoid embarrassing situations, or as PP have suggested, having the bar in another room so it does not appear to be hosted.
    Always try to be a little kinder than is necessary. ? J.M. Barrie
  • I'm confused. Some people are saying to host what you can afford.
    Others are telling me that it doesn't matter, if the guests want something else, the host has to pay for it.
    I've always been in the No Cash bar/Host what you can afford camp, but this thread seems to be going in different directions.
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  • OR people who want it could have it if they choose. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_in-case-anyone-needs-one-more-reason-not-to-do-a-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4a1863df-0990-44ca-bc88-3311cd918d12Post:a3aa5c0d-1601-4afa-a4db-144ada9e0d3b">Re: in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar.....</a>:
    [QUOTE]my family must be old fashion.  <strong>We still hold most events at home or a DIY type venue. </strong>   If we do have it at a restaurant we either lower the guest list number to afford to host everything or we pick a venue where we can afford everything with our guest list. Putting our guests next to an un-hosted bar would just be asking for trouble.  In a private room would be okay.  Out-of-site out-of-mind type thing.
    Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

    <div>I'm with you.  Until my FSIL's bridal shower, which was at a restaurant, I had never attended a non-wedding function that wasn't in someone's house.  That being said, if you want to choose to have an event at a restuarant or otherwise, you should make sure no one opens their wallet either by paying for whatever they order (open bar) or by limiting the bar options to what you can afford.  </div><div>
    </div><div>Cash bars are never acceptable and I am always insulted when there is a cash bar.  As a guest, I would have no problem if only beer and wine were served, or if there wasn't any alcohol because then, at least the host had served what they could afford with dignity.</div>

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  • Melb, I completely understand your point, and that of many other PP, which is why for my wedding an open bar was personally important to us. But to be honest as a guest, I would rather have the option of getting a drink, even if it was one I had to pay for, than not have the option at all. Obviously it is not the optimal situation, but as I said in a PP I do understand where some situations make sense not having any kind of open bar...in the wedding I referenced earlier it was nice to have the option of going to the bar in a seperate room outside the reception, which was in fact also open to other members of the club during the time of the wedding. So I guess I just see several different sides of this from the point of view of a bride wanting to host a full bar, and as a guest at a wedding of those that cant serve alcohol for religious or monetary reasons.
    Always try to be a little kinder than is necessary. ? J.M. Barrie
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_in-case-anyone-needs-one-more-reason-not-to-do-a-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4a1863df-0990-44ca-bc88-3311cd918d12Post:c7e6caa1-4301-4f8e-acb5-fd41e9bdb1a9">Re:in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar.....</a>:
    [QUOTE]Melb, I completely understand your point, and that of many other PP, which is why for my wedding an open bar was personally important to us. But to be honest as a guest, I would rather have the option of getting a drink, even if it was one I had to pay for, than not have the option at all. Obviously it is not the optimal situation, but as I said in a PP I do understand where some situations make sense not having any kind of open bar...in the wedding I referenced earlier it was nice to have the option of going to the bar in a seperate room outside the reception, which was in fact also open to other members of the club during the time of the wedding. So I guess I just see several different sides of this from the point of view of a bride wanting to host a full bar, and as a guest at a wedding of those that cant serve alcohol for religious or monetary reasons.
    Posted by Burtonbaby145[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I definitely understand your line of reasoning that you'd prefer to have the option to buy a drink if you'd like, but reread the OP here talking about how awkward it was for people who didn't have cash. A lot of people don't bring cash to weddings, and then are stuck feeling embarrassed when they have to give a drink back/ask someone to spot them some. </div><div>
    </div><div>I think the best analogy is the one someone mentioned earlier that says when you throw a dinner party at your home, you serve your guests what you can afford, you don't make them bring cash if they want to have a drink/something top shelf</div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div>
  • In Response to Re:in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar.....:[QUOTE]Melb, I completely understand your point, and that of many other PP, which is why for my wedding an open bar was personally important to us. But to be honest as a guest, I would rather have the option of getting a drink, even if it was one I had to pay for, than not have the option at all. Obviously it is not the optimal situation, but as I said in a PP I do understand where some situations make sense not having any kind of open bar...in the wedding I referenced earlier it was nice to have the option of going to the bar in a seperate room outside the reception, which was in fact also open to other members of the club during the time of the wedding. So I guess I just see several different sides of this from the point of view of a bride wanting to host a full bar, and as a guest at a wedding of those that cant serve alcohol for religious or monetary reasons. Posted by Burtonbaby145[/QUOTE]

    Am I the only one totally ok with no bar whatsoever at a wedding and can manage to get through those 5 hours without drinking? Is this a foreign idea now? I'm not sure why the option for alcohol NEEDS to be provided. If they want it they will drink it afterwards. If the hosts can afford it, great.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_in-case-anyone-needs-one-more-reason-not-to-do-a-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4a1863df-0990-44ca-bc88-3311cd918d12Post:7136c01d-f2ab-4650-87bf-bdb3a916a879">Re: in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar.....</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar..... : Super awkward..<strong> I dont' think it's bad to have a cash bar when it's at a restaurant for a baptism. I mean, the bar just happens to be there because it's part of the restaurant I'm guessing, right?</strong> A sign of what was hosted could have helped ease the awkwardness. Although I don't think a lot of people would have bothered reading the sign.
    Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

    We were in the banquet room of the restaurant, not the actual restaurant where other guests were dining.  I agree if we were in the room where anyone else could be dining and there was a bar it would not have been awkward but the fact that we were in a room separate from regular guests and there was a bar that was open in that separate room we were in made it awkward.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_in-case-anyone-needs-one-more-reason-not-to-do-a-cash-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4a1863df-0990-44ca-bc88-3311cd918d12Post:f89ec52b-2e63-4a24-b8b6-3b34de76191d">in case anyone needs one more reason not to do a cash bar.....</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yesterday FI and I attended the baptism of FI's niece.  Afterwards there was a reception at a restaurant.  We arrived and there were 2 bottles of wine on each table, one red, one white.  In the room we were in there was also a bar which I went up to get some water.  My FSIL (not the one who had her baby baptized) was behind me and ordered a beer for her H and a mixed drink for herself.  A few seconds later she walked over to our table to see if any of us had cash because it was not an open bar.  Luckily FI had money on him, but it was pretty awkward for FSIL to have to leave the bar to get money to pay for the drinks and would have been even worse if no one had cash on them.  Then to top it off the beer was warm and the mixed drink had way to much alcohol in it.  So yeah.  If you are having any event where only certain things are hosted (wine, water, soda, juice, etc) make sure there are signs up with what is hosted.  Our table was right by the bar and we watched quite a few people have to give their drink back because they didn't know it wasn't free and had no cash on them.
    Posted by SB1512[/QUOTE]

    <div>I agree this is awkward. However I never assume anything is open bar. Its always good to be prepared. Even when I went to a wedding this summer that FI was in, I KNEW for certain it was an open bar and still made sure we had some cash on us.</div><div>
    </div><div>Its always good to be prepared. Just in case.</div>
    ~~Sept 2013 Brides - January Siggy - Floral Inspiration~~ Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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