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Military Brides

Help!

My fiance is deployed, but when he returns home we want to get married in the courthouse. We want to have our actual ceremony/reception in April of next year.

I am a little worried about the pastor performing our ceremony being put off if we are already married. It's a fake ceremony, technically.

I mean do we just carry on as if it were real and then skip the marriage license signing?

Any and all advice is greatly appreciated!

Re: Help!

  • edited December 2011
    I see nothing wrong with getting married at the courhouse (for the right reasons) and then having a vow renewal in April.  Lots of girls over on the Military Nesties board have done this.

    Just don't hide that you're legally married from your family/friends/church and don't call the vow renewal in April a wedding and you're good to go! 

    Congrats on your upcoming nuptuals!
    I don't want to be on MSNBC, yo.
  • iluvmytxrgriluvmytxrgr member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I agree.  Be honest with everyone.  Let your pastor know you are getting married in the courthouse and having a VR.  It won't make anything less special. 
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  • mysticlmysticl member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    edited December 2011
    The minister shouldn't have an issue as long as you have a valid explanation as to why you didn't wait to have the religious ceremony.  There is no need for a license signing since you won't have a lincense at your religious ceremony.  The license would be issued and signed for the courthouse wedding.  No need for a second one and I doubt that any court clerk would issue one when they learned you were already married. 

    And ditto what other's said, don't lie.  I know someone who did lie about it and her family was furious with her when they found out about it. 
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  • edited December 2011
    Please please please don't call your ceremony a fake ceremony. Depending upon your religion it is very important!

    We are doing a Civil Ceremony in Dec. With a Vow Renewal/Church Ceremony/Recieving of the Sarcament Ceremony in May of next year. We are Catholic and I had some of your same concerns. I have heard of Priests being very offended. We contacted our Priest and he was fine with it as long as we understand that according to OUR FAITH pur marriage was not official in the eyes of the CHURCH until we recieved the sacrament of Marriage in a Church Ceremony. Also he was okay with it as long as we didn't live together before hand.  

    As for our Church/Religious Ceremony it will be performed the exact same way as if we didn't do the Civil Ceremony. The only difference is that the Marriage License is already signed by the Judge and Witnesses, so there is no license to sign at the end.  

    HTH - In the End I would contact your Pastor and see what he thinks. Mine was very understanding with our situation- (FI being in the Military and we wanted to get a head start on paper work so I could move right after the wedding. )

    Depending on your faith your Pastor/Priest may have similar/disimilar requirements or beliefs.
  • forrma7forrma7 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    hi there!
    be careful with this, because people tend to receive a lot of heat about this question.
    your real ceremony would be the courthouse because you are becoming legally married.
    but i do understand what you're trying to get at.
    if you're going to do a 2nd ceremony, i would definitely be honest with people. it's too much stress and trouble to try to fake everyone out. it will save yourself a ton of grief if you're just upfront.

    is there a reason why you can't just wait until april to get married?
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