August 2012 Weddings

XP-My BM wants 2 have new boyfriend at head table? What to do?

My BM just started dating a guy and they were over at my house yesterday and she was asking my Mom if he could sit with us at the table during the reception.  Well Mom explained to her that after the wedding, when we go in, get our food, those head tables set up is for us, the bridal party, to sit at to eat, the photographer and venue will be taking pictures of the bridal party.  She said, well he won't know anyone there...so she said after we eat and the action starts, there is nothing wrong with going up there to sit, we've been at weddings before and saw it.  The GM both have wives that will be sitting at a table, my Mom who is my MOH isn't dating right now so no worries about her BF.  What do you ladies think?  I hope I posted this on the right board LOL

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Re: XP-My BM wants 2 have new boyfriend at head table? What to do?

  • We don't plan to split up couples/families without their approval. My mom is my MOH and will sit with my step father and brother, probably at the head table. The bridesmaids and groomsmen are mostly couples who will sit together. The only exception is the best man whose wife is coming, probably with their 2 kids. We are giving him the option to sit at the head table either with/without his family or sitting at a separate table. I appreciate it when I don't have to be separated from my significant other so we are trying to avoid splitting up family units.
  • Are you not having any of your wedding party members sit with their significant others?  I am not doing a head table, but I can not imagine not having my bridesmaids and groomsmen sit next to their significant other.  It doesn't matter that they may know other people in the bridal party, their signifcant other is the person they came to the wedding with so it makes sense they should be seated together.  I would not want to be seated apart from FI at any event, including a wedding.
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  • I'm sitting my best man and maid of honors guest at the head table. I was orig going to just do the sweet heart table but we have a small wedding party. We decided we wanted to sit as a group. It sucks to be sitting alone not knowing anyone. I would be disapointed being in that situation. But would suck it up. Could you put a spare chair at his table so at least right after dinner she could sit with him?
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  • I answered you on the E board :)
  • We are doing the same thing, a head table. I have never been to a wedding that did not have the wedding party all together. We are assigning seats though for the rest of the guests. Therefore the dates of the BP will sit together and with other people they know. In our bridal party I have my two sisters whose husbands will be sitting with my mom. One of my BM is married to one of the GM. SO there are just  that will be alone during dinner. We are having assigned seating though. I went to a wedding before and FI was in the wedding they had a head table. I didn't mind I just wish they would have had assigned seating for us. In this area I think it is normal for head tables. 
  • I have noticed before that this tends to be a midwest thing - having a head table without the dates of the bridal party.  I have seen ladies get reamed out on these boards for considering the idea.  That being said, I am from WI, and have NEVER been to a wedding that did not have a head table consisting ONLY of the bridal party.  Their dates have ALWAYS sat among other people they know attending.  If this is what you want, I don't think there is anything wrong with doing this.  

    I elected to do a sweetheart table since we have 6 couples in our wedding party and would need a head table for 14 (without significant others!)  Plus, FI's dad is in the wedding and I would feel funny splitting up his parents for dinner at his wedding.  Most of our wedding party is married, so we decided just to seat them all among the crowd and have the sole focus on us.
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  • I originally asked my Fiance' if we should do a head table+ dates just to have a fun group table and not seperate dates. He refused and said we've been to plenty of wedding were we've been seperated and since it's only for dinner they can suck it up. lol, so we've decided to just do a standard bridal party table.
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  • We're doing a sweetheart table and putting the bridal party at other tables with their S/Os / dates. I've been to weddings where my date or I have had to sit in the group when we don't know anyone there and it's horrible. In fact, FI was standing up in a wedding when we first started out - and of COURSE his ex of 5 1/2 years was also in this wedding due to their mutual friends and I had to sit with a group of his high school friends on the side of the room where his ex was, so I wasn't even on the same side of the room as him. it was horrible. I had to look at her all night >.< (luckily she wasn't much to look at and I'm way prettier bahahaha!)

    I don't want to put anyone else through that kind of awkwardness so I don't have assigned seating at all :) just kinda letting everyone sit wherever they want at the reception and then having our sweetheart table, 2 reserved tables for the bridal party and 2 reserved tables for the immediate family.
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  • AjoydAjoyd member
    First Comment
    I would just tell her no, plain and simple. If the other BP members' dates (wives!) aren't sitting up there he doesn't need to either.

    I don't know why people, like your BM, worry so much about this. Any adult should be able to make polite conversation with other adults for an hour ;)

    Good luck!
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  • We were originally going to do a sweetheart table because we wanted to have our bridal party sitting with their dates. That got blown when our best man and one of my bridesmaids started divorce proceedings (FI and I actually met at their wedding) AND my MOH broke up with her serious boyfriend and isn't planning on bringing a date anyways AND one of my bridesmaids is married to one of his groomsmen....at that point we figured we would just do a head table.

    My girls and their significant others (what's left of em) will be sitting with my other friends not in the wedding. We are all friends so it's not like they don't know each other. Same for FI. All his friends are friends with his groomsmen's dates so they are sitting at those tables.
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  • mrsR12mrsR12 member
    First Comment
    We are also doing a sweetheart table and have the BP sit with their date.  

    if none of your BM or GM have their date at your head table, there is no reason she should have hers.  
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