Delayed honeymoon?

theycallmelinz

FI and I are getting married in April, and it never occurred to me-until recently- that his job wouldn't give him time off for this event. A little back info: FI's job SUCKS. They have no benefits, except now health insurance because they are forced to, no paid time off, not even sick leave. If FI is ever sick or needs to take a day off, it shows in his check. Also, if he takes off more than a day or so in a row, they get PISSED and have fired people over this before. So when FI told me he may not can take off work for us to go on a honeymoon, my response was "Fuck that place. Either they'll give you time off, or you'll take the time anyway and just find another job when we get back." And I'm dead serious, fuck them.

But FI brought up to me last night the idea of us waiting to take a honeymoon the week of July 4th, because for some strange reason, the whole place shuts down for the week WITH pay. It would be good because he's already got the week off, and we won't suffer from him having taken off without pay. 

I'm really okay with this, but kind of a little bummed. I've always had in my head that we would leave our reception to go off on our honeymoon, and now most likely we will leave our reception to come back to our boring little apartment, and the honeymoon won't happen for another 3 months. Is it even a honeymoon at that point? I don't want this to feel like the PPD version of a honeymoon. Is anyone else delaying their honeymoon?

mrscomposer

Ugh, that's annoying. I feel bad on your behalf Our situation is a little different, because I do have the week off after the wedding - but we're just staying home. FI has to move down to where I am now, so we're just going to get him settled in, and then enjoy being married for a few days. We didn't even consider taking a trip right away - we (will have) just paid for a big ol' party, so our bank accounts need a bit of a breather

mrsmagicgeek

We delayed ours. We got married on August 21, and not leaving for the honeymoon until October 22. Yes, it kind of sucks because I was exhausted (even though we pretty much eloped) and had to go back to work. It also sucks because I'm waiting to change my name until I get back from that because I was worried I wouldn't have my passport back in time.

In some ways though it's better I think. I have time to plan, we can put money away just for that, and work was happier with the timing (both our jobs).

Overall, I'm going to a tropical island, so whatever. :P

MairePoppy

Yes, it's still a honeymoon.

My daughter was married in Oct. and took her honeymoon in April because of her job.

ShesSoCold

We delayed our honeymoon. We got married in July and we're honeymooning in February/March. Lots of people delay honeymoons. I think it's kind of nice to wait - we get to celebrate again in six months. If we had gone right after the wedding, everything would be over in like two weeks.

lurkergirl

I definitely don't think it's a ppd equivalent at all.  We are in the minority of our friends by taking a honeymoon immediately.  All our other friends waited either to save up, take time off work, or because the place they wanted to go wasn't good to visit at the time of year they were married.

I would definitely hold off for the paid week off.  One thing to consider is that if you're staying stateside, you're probably looking at higher travel costs.

Could he take off the Monday after the wedding so you all could have a little mini-moon, even if it's just an extra night in a hotel or something?  Then do the big trip in July?

Maggie0829

A lot of couples delay their honeymoons for a variety of reasons (work, money, family obligations, bad time of year weather wise, etc). And honestly, a HM is just a vacation. I realize that the wedding industry and people around you have built it up to be this once in a lifetime thing but what it boils down to is a vacation that you and your SO take. I find all vacations that I take with just H to be special because they don't happen often and getting married was just another good reason to take a fun vacation. Is there any way to take a short mini-vacation? Like would it be possible to go somewhere for a day or two to just relax and spend some time together? I am not sure where you live but you could spend a day or two exploring a nearby city (act like a tourist for a day) and stay in a hotel and order room service and splurge a little.

theycallmelinz

That's good to hear. And I agree about the money. That would give us more time to save for our honeymoon and for our bank accounts to breathe again lol. I did mention to FI maybe he could just take off the Monday following the wedding so we could maybe go somewhere saturday and sunday night for a little mini-vaca so we don't have to go back to our apartment afterwards. This may be an option.

theycallmelinz

@foundmymagicgeek I already have a passport, but I never thought about my name not matching it once I get married. We're only doing a cruise, and I'm planning to use my maiden name as my middle name so it won't be THAT different. I wonder how big of a deal this will be...

lurkergirl

lulu411 said:

@foundmymagicgeek I already have a passport, but I never thought about my name not matching it once I get married. We're only doing a cruise, and I'm planning to use my maiden name as my middle name so it won't be THAT different. I wonder how big of a deal this will be...

I am thinking you might be able to get an expedited passport in time (between the wedding and July--if your wedding is early April).  Definitely look in to it, because that would majorly suck if you made travel plans and couldn't use them because of a mismatched name.

VulgarGirl

I don't know anyone IRL who went on their honeymoon right after their wedding. We'll be doing ours sometime after the wedding, we're thinking next spring/summer when we want to get the hell up out of the heat. 

It always looks so awesome and exciting in the movies and on TV, the newlyweds run off to their honeymoon as soon as the last picture is taken. But in real life, there are jobs, family obligations, money, ya know, actual things to worry about. Which do not exist on TV or in movies. 

anjemon

We're planning to do this, for a couple of reasons. Firstly, we're getting married end of April and that's just when MN starts to get nice (hopefully). So there's no reason to leave then and many many reasons to leave in winter. Secondly, my college friends have been planning a big "we're turning 30" trip to Vegas which will be about a month after our wedding. So we are waiting until about 6 or 9 months after the wedding to do our "Honeymoon" trip.

lyndausvi

lulu411 said:

@foundmymagicgeek I already have a passport, but I never thought about my name not matching it once I get married. We're only doing a cruise, and I'm planning to use my maiden name as my middle name so it won't be THAT different. I wonder how big of a deal this will be...

Doesn't matter if isn't THAT different.  It's different.    When traveling you only need 1 form of id.  That ID must match your ticket.   I would just book under you maiden name and use your passport to travel.     Change the others if you want, but you can wait until after the HM to change your passport.

theycallmelinz

lyndausvi said:

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lulu411 said:

@foundmymagicgeek I already have a passport, but I never thought about my name not matching it once I get married. We're only doing a cruise, and I'm planning to use my maiden name as my middle name so it won't be THAT different. I wonder how big of a deal this will be...

Doesn't matter if isn't THAT different.  It's different.    When traveling you only need 1 form of id.  That ID must match your ticket.   I would just book under you maiden name and use your passport to travel.     Change the others if you want, but you can wait until after the HM to change your passport.

That's a good idea. Thanks!

climbingsingle

That sucks about his job. But I know a lot of people that delayed their HM. 

cupcait927

We're delaying our honeymoon due to a lack of vacation time and the fact that my job doesn't let me take time off (unless it's an emergency) after October 1st. We're going to go away for a couple of days after the wedding (adirondacks, only a few hours drive) and then we'll take a longer honeymoon next year.

MairePoppy

They can leave you  behind if your passport doesn't match your cruise documents. The two cruise lines that I have used require passports, even on closed loop cruises. Two months should be enough time to change your name on your passport.

theycallmelinz

MairePoppy said:

They can leave you  behind if your passport doesn't match your cruise documents. The two cruise lines that I have used require passports, even on closed loop cruises. Two months should be enough time to change your name on your passport.

I would think so too. The wedding is April 11th, and we have until July so that's almost 3 months. And I definitely don't want to be left behind! lol

melbenso

We are doing a delayed honeymoon, partly because DH started a new job not too long before we got married and partly because we decided we'd rather go someplace warm when it's colder where we live. We were married at the end of June and will be honeymooning in the Caribbean in November. And honestly, we were so exhausted right after the wedding, that I am glad we decided to wait. If we had left right away, we would have been too tired to enjoy our vacation. We also had the extra added bonus of my job sending me to a conference in the city we will be leaving for our cruise from, just before the cruise. So, my airfare is on the company. ETA - We did take the Monday after the wedding off to relax and took a "minimoon" and spent 2 days in Chicago in early August before attending a family reunion in the area that weekend.

lyndausvi

I use to go through customs/immigration 3-5 times a WEEK for 10+ YEARS going to and from the British Virgin Islands. My job was to make sure check people's ID with tickets and filling out immigration and custom forms. Plus I've flown around the world. I use to be somewhat of an expert with this kind of stuff.

themuffinman16

I am taking a delayed honeymoon and LOVE IT.  I thought I would be upset about not being whisked away to a romantic place right after the wedding.  Truth is, it is the best thing that ever happened. Your wedding is so crazy, just chilling at home is a little mini-vacation after the wedding.  And you are glad to do it! 

  I was, also, so happy to spend time with my loved ones who travelled all that way to see me.  Now, things have cooled down, and planning a trip wasn't another thing I had to worry about while wedding planning (which is stressful, enough.)  We also weren't even going to take a honeymoon, until we realized... hey... we can afford it!  Woo hoo! It is so nice to have something else to look forward to after the wedding.  Taking a delayed honeymoon is a blessing in disguise.  You will love it!

southernbelle0915

We have friends getting married this weekend who aren't going on their honeymoon until December. Others who got married in June aren't going until March of next year. Their work schedules and finances couldn't handle a trip right after the wedding. It's better than not going at all, so tehre's that.

Couggal12

We are getting married next week and taking our honeymoon next March. We have family in town for the wedding and would rather spend the time with them, and financially we're not in the place to take it right now. Plus we would rather save up for the honeymoon we want then to put it all on a credit card just for the sake of going on a honeymoon right after the wedding. 

holyguacamole79

We delayed our HM for similar reasons (DH's vacation allotment). We went for our first anniversary and it was awesome!

JaxInBlue

DH will be married 3 years this November.  We still have not been on our honeymoon - as in a trip that's just us that does not involve visiting family for some or all of the trip.  Sometimes it makes me a little sad that we never got "our" vacation but other times DH gets all "well, we can't say our honeymoon phase is over until we go on the honeymoon" and I get all the feelings.

CMGragain

We just had a mini-moon.  Two nights in a Kansas City hotel.  I never missed it.  We weren't really together before the wedding, since he lived 1100 miles away.  DH and I hardly left the room.  An expensive honeymoon was not in our budget, and it would have been wasted.
We took our first cruise (Alaska) on our 25th wedding anniversary.  Wow!  Since then we have been on 17 total cruises, and are booked for another this winter.  I have never regretted not having a big honeymoon.  Worth the wait!

RosieC18

We're waiting 14 months for ours because H moved to another state for a year 2 months after our wedding. We're treating it as an opportunity to celebrate again as we start living together again. I think delayed is actually really nice, especially if you want to change time zones or be more active. After our wedding we were mostly exhausted. If you want to sit on a beach and recover (which sounds great!), by all means do that right away, but I don't think I would have gotten that much out of a big active trip right afterwards.

I will say that we took 2 days off work after the wedding for a "minimoon" to sleep, hike, kayak and SLEEP in a teeny cabin. Even 1 night would go a long way towards helping you recover from all the stress and excitement. You don't even have to go away, but we really appreciated the enforced seclusion (no family guilt-trips when you're away) to adjust to being married.

holyguacamole79

RosieC18 said:I will say that we took 2 days off work after the wedding for a "minimoon" to sleep, hike, kayak and SLEEP in a teeny cabin. Even 1 night would go a long way towards helping you recover from all the stress and excitement. You don't even have to go away, but we really appreciated the enforced seclusion (no family guilt-trips when you're away) to adjust to being married.

YES.  I forgot to mention our mini-moon.  We went to a resort on a lake, got massages, and SLEPT.  Oh, and had sex.

lyndausvi

lulu411 said:

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MairePoppy said:

They can leave you  behind if your passport doesn't match your cruise documents. The two cruise lines that I have used require passports, even on closed loop cruises. Two months should be enough time to change your name on your passport.

I would think so too. The wedding is April 11th, and we have until July so that's almost 3 months. And I definitely don't want to be left behind! lol

********SITB **********

It should be enough time, but summer is prime out of country travel.  Spring is prime "oh shit I need a passport" time.     To me, not worth it.  

decembergrl2014

FI and I are taking a "mini-moon" the weekend of our wedding. We're getting married on a Friday and then going to the Poconos that Saturday to Monday. Next August were going to go to Hawaii for 10 days. I was disappointed about not going to Hawaii right away, but I've waited 20+ years! What's another 8 months?

Ndelible

We are getting married in January, but not HMing until the Fall when cruises start out of SoCal to Mexico.  We didn't want to hassle with flying anywhere, just down the freeway to the dock.  Easy peasy.