Wedding Etiquette Forum

Honeymoon Registry?

Hi knotters! 

My fiancé and I have tossed around the idea of doing a cash registry (for example, https://www.weddingrepublic.com/) for our honeymoon, where people can buy pieces of our flights, hotel stay, etc, rather than a traditional registry. We both have lived away from our parents for awhile so we don't really have a need for anything people traditionally register for...but is a "honeymoon registry" tacky??

Thanks!
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Re: Honeymoon Registry?

  • Yes.  Very much so.  You are essentially asking your guests for cash, since that is what you recieve from the company.  Furthermore, most companies take a cut of the money.

    Just don't register, and people will give you cash. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honeymoon-registry-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0c9b0b4a-5ed9-4442-966d-adef1a8494adPost:3b39e941-d3f8-4ae1-b8fa-38c76d98a671">Honeymoon Registry?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi knotters!  My fiancé and I have tossed around the idea of doing a cash registry (for example,  <a href="https://www.weddingrepublic.com/" rel="nofollow">https://www.weddingrepublic.com/</a> ) for our honeymoon, where people can buy pieces of our flights, hotel stay, etc, rather than a traditional registry. We both have lived away from our parents for awhile so we don't really have a need for anything people traditionally register for...<strong>but is a "honeymoon registry" tacky??</strong> Thanks!
    Posted by kasperandslaw[/QUOTE]

    Yes.
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  • Besides being tacky that website also charges your guests a 4.5% transcation fee.  Cash and checks don't charge fees.
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  • i think it sounds like a great idea!

  • Awful. 

    My overall, biggest problem with honeymoon registry's is that they are, for the most part, lies. 

    1) The company takes a cut of what your guests provide.
    2) You are cut a blank check that YOU decide to use for the things your guests have paid for. If you're honest. Great. If you're not.... not great. 

    I know people who had contributed to honeymoon registries in the past, without knowing what the details were, and as soon as they found out, they were really upset.  In theory, it really does sound great. In practice, they are far from. 
  • edited August 2012
    If you don't need anything, don't register.  Then, if/when people ask "Hey, where are you registered?"  you respond with something like "Oh, we decided not to, since we're lucky enough to have everything we need for our household.  Right now, we're really just focused on saving up for a honeymoon/new house/new car/super-fancy telescope so we can communicate with the Martians/whatever."  People will get the hint, without you having to resort to tackiness.

    Also, if you don't register, decline any bridal showers offered to you.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honeymoon-registry-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0c9b0b4a-5ed9-4442-966d-adef1a8494adPost:2b18ae68-14d9-4b60-8cc2-16bb07cf7f7e">Re: Honeymoon Registry?</a>:
    [QUOTE]i think it sounds like a great idea!
    Posted by doalittlejig[/QUOTE]

    Why? People know folks want cash and if they just bring cash, you get ALL of it instead of 5% less.
  • Thanks for all the input. I was feeling hesitant because I'm not sure how my family would take it, but my fiancé is super gung ho for it. Seems the vote is it's a bad idea 
  • One other thing - that company won't cut you the check until after the wedding is over.  So how are you supposed to use it for flights and things that you need to be booking months in advance?
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honeymoon-registry-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0c9b0b4a-5ed9-4442-966d-adef1a8494adPost:c5c2a856-edc6-4177-8a6e-a43ab9955098">Re: Honeymoon Registry?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry? : Why? People know folks want cash and if they just bring cash, you get ALL of it instead of 5% less.
    Posted by MyUserName1[/QUOTE]

    <div>Muni, I think Jig is a troll, if my memory is serving me correctly.</div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honeymoon-registry-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0c9b0b4a-5ed9-4442-966d-adef1a8494adPost:7fca3069-a47c-4e22-a8b4-0d46994d2488">Re: Honeymoon Registry?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry? : Muni, I think Jig is a troll, if my memory is serving me correctly.
    Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]

    It's so hard to tell the difference between troll and terrible WR advice givers sometimes.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honeymoon-registry-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0c9b0b4a-5ed9-4442-966d-adef1a8494adPost:e2873213-8eba-4ad0-80ac-0e1d76cb6e12">Re: Honeymoon Registry?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry? : It's so hard to tell the difference between troll and terrible WR advice givers sometimes.
    Posted by MyUserName1[/QUOTE]

    <div>Truth.</div><div>
    </div><div>(The only reason I remember it as a troll is because I remember someone making fun of the troll and calling it "Jigglypuff."  As a former babysitter of Pokemon fanatics, I laughed way too hard over it.)</div>
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  • diabridediabride member
    10 Comments
    edited August 2012
    We are doing this.  However, e have already paid for our flights, hotel and rental car...I am not sure I would ask guest to kick in on that sort of stuff. We are going to register for play tickets, a couples massage, etc.  This fits us as a couple.  We have been out on our own for 15 years and together in our home for sometime.  We like our stuff...we have a great toaster that I wouldn't trade for the world so we don't need another one.  Being able to show people photos and make them copies of us actually relaxing and stepping away from our daily life stressor will be priceless to our family and friends.  We do not EXPECT a gift from any of our guest and by not doing a traditional registry but something like this that some people might not find appropriate/tack hopefully will eliminate the traditional gifts that we neither need/want that will more than likely just be donated.

    There is also a thread in the "Honeymoon" area (I believe 3rd post down) and I was able to find a "fee free" site there that I am going to do a little bit more research on bt we will more than likely be using that.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honeymoon-registry-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0c9b0b4a-5ed9-4442-966d-adef1a8494adPost:673109bc-e496-48aa-ad4c-302f152a28a9">Re:Honeymoon Registry?</a>:
    [QUOTE]To me, it's like asking directly for cash, registering for sex toys, and lying to your guests all at the same time. So, yes, I would say it's a bad idea.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    I am just wondering how it is lying to your guest?  How would it be any different than someone writing a thank you note expressing their thanks for an item that ended up being donated to Goodwill?
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honeymoon-registry-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0c9b0b4a-5ed9-4442-966d-adef1a8494adPost:c3ad919d-038a-472a-83e4-28f408d87144">Re: Honeymoon Registry?</a>:
    [QUOTE]We are doing this.  However, e have already paid for our flights, hotel and rental car...I am not sure I would ask guest to kick in on that sort of stuff. We are going to register for play tickets, a couples massage, etc.  This fits us as a couple.  We have been out on our own for 15 years and together in our home for sometime.  We like our stuff...we have a great toaster that I wouldn't trade for the world so we don't need another one.  Being able to show people photos and make them copies of us actually relaxing and stepping away from our daily life stressor will be priceless to our family and friends.  We do not EXPECT a gift from any of our guest and by not doing a traditional registry but something like this that some people might not find appropriate/tack hopefully will eliminate the traditional gifts that we neither need/want that will more than likely just be donated. There is also a thread in the "Honeymoon" area (I believe 3rd post down) and I was able to find a "fee free" site there that I am going to do a little bit more research on bt we will more than likely be using that.
    Posted by diabride[/QUOTE]
    I still think it's a bad idea. No one is saying that you HAVE to register for STUFF. If you don't need it, you don't need it. There's nothing wrong with that. It's the blatant hand out give me cash thing that is icky. <div>
    </div><div>Honestly, for people who can't afford to give much, how would they feel to see a registry full of events and things that are higher than what their budget would allow? If it were me, I'd feel awful that I couldn't afford one of these special events. We had a guest that gave us $10 in the card, and I felt bad about that because I knew how badly they were hurting for money in the first place.</div><div>
    </div><div>I just think it puts totally unnecessary expectations on your guests that they have to meet some sort of reserve to be able to give you a gift.</div>
  • In Response to Re:Honeymoon Registry?:[QUOTE]If you don't need anything, don't register. nbsp;Then, if/when people ask "Hey, where are you registered?" nbsp;you respond with something like "Oh, we decided not to, since we're lucky enough to have everything we need for our household. nbsp;Right now, we're really just focused on saving up for a honeymoon/new house/new car/superfancy telescope so we can communicate with the Martians/whatever." nbsp;People will get the hint, without you having to resort to tackiness.Also, if you don't register, decline any bridal showers offered to you. Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]

    How do you decline a bridal shower that you show up to without knowing about it? Most are surprises.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honeymoon-registry-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0c9b0b4a-5ed9-4442-966d-adef1a8494adPost:06afffb7-ee88-4382-80e9-a066e5d94867">Re:Honeymoon Registry?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Honeymoon Registry?: How do you decline a bridal shower that you show up to without knowing about it? <strong>Most are surprises.
    </strong>Posted by allychase[/QUOTE]

    Um, no they're not.
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  • Are they? Mine wasn't. I'd say 'most' is stretching it.

    Plus? You make sure your BM's know that you aren't registering and don't want a shower. If they plan one as a surprise anyway, then you graciously go through with it, but expect random crap. 

    This is not game theory. Just use some common sense.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honeymoon-registry-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0c9b0b4a-5ed9-4442-966d-adef1a8494adPost:81d1c0b1-9aee-4f10-b43c-7873af0bf0ce">Re: Honeymoon Registry?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry? : I still think it's a bad idea. No one is saying that you HAVE to register for STUFF. If you don't need it, you don't need it. There's nothing wrong with that. It's the blatant hand out give me cash thing that is icky.  Honestly, for people who can't afford to give much, how would they feel to see a registry full of events and things that are higher than what their budget would allow? If it were me, I'd feel awful that I couldn't afford one of these special events. We had a guest that gave us $10 in the card, and I felt bad about that because I knew how badly they were hurting for money in the first place. I just think it puts totally unnecessary expectations on your guests that they have to meet some sort of reserve to be able to give you a gift.
    Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]

    It is really funny that you mention that because there are a ton of things that we had planned on putting on there that were $5-$10.  For instance my favorite place to get breakfast where we are going on our honeymoon is $6.47.  Like I said, it works for us as a couple and knowing the dynamic of our family and friends it will work for them.  Never in my life would I register for something like $800 for airfare, $1500 for hotel.  We took care of all of that stuff ourselves.  Both my FI & I are workaholics who plan on going off the grid for our honeymoon and for once in our lives "stopping to smell the roses".  Knowing our family and friends this works for us.  It might not work for you or the next person, but it works for us. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honeymoon-registry-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0c9b0b4a-5ed9-4442-966d-adef1a8494adPost:06afffb7-ee88-4382-80e9-a066e5d94867">Re:Honeymoon Registry?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Honeymoon Registry?: How do you decline a bridal shower that you show up to without knowing about it? Most are surprises.
    Posted by allychase[/QUOTE]

    I doubt that.  Everyone has busy lives and I'm pretty sure the bride would have to know to keep the date cleared for a shower.  While what happens at the shower or where the shower is held could certainly be a surprise, a date for one wouldn't be, and anyone who isn't registered and asked about potential dates that work for a shower should decline. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honeymoon-registry-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0c9b0b4a-5ed9-4442-966d-adef1a8494adPost:06afffb7-ee88-4382-80e9-a066e5d94867">Re:Honeymoon Registry?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Honeymoon Registry?: How do you decline a bridal shower that you show up to without knowing about it? <strong>Most are surprises.
    </strong>Posted by allychase[/QUOTE]

    Most are not. Maybe in your circle they are, but "most" does not apply here at all. Still, shouldn't the person planning said surprise shower know they didn't register for anything? "Opening" gifts from a honeymoon registry at a shower would be super awkward and boring (on top of everything else everyone already said about them and how terrible they are).
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honeymoon-registry-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0c9b0b4a-5ed9-4442-966d-adef1a8494adPost:767b058a-127a-478a-a6d2-00203f67489b">Re: Honeymoon Registry?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry? : It is really funny that you mention that because there are a ton of things that we had planned on putting on there that were $5-$10.  For instance my favorite place to get breakfast where we are going on our honeymoon is $6.47.  Like I said, it works for us as a couple and knowing the dynamic of our family and friends it will work for them.  Never in my life would I register for something like $800 for airfare, $1500 for hotel.  We took care of all of that stuff ourselves.  Both my FI & I are workaholics who plan on going off the grid for our honeymoon and for once in our lives "stopping to smell the roses".  Knowing our family and friends this works for us.  It might not work for you or the next person, but it works for us. 
    Posted by diabride[/QUOTE]
    You're going to have your opinion on it, and I will have mine. I will continue to think it is tacky and wrong, and you- having decided to be tacky- will defend it to the death. *shrug* I can't change your mind, but maybe I can change someone else's mind. <div>
    </div><div>My BFF when we were living in Italy was going to do a HMR, but I convinced her not to just by making a comment (before I even knew she was doing one) about how much they upset me and why. I figure there's always that possibility for me to do the same thing here.</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honeymoon-registry-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0c9b0b4a-5ed9-4442-966d-adef1a8494adPost:4214fe1b-cc02-4e38-bb06-cf2570c344e4">Re:Honeymoon Registry?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Honeymoon Registry? : I am just wondering how it is lying to your guest?  How would it be any different than someone writing a thank you note expressing their thanks for an item that ended up being donated to Goodwill?
    Posted by diabride[/QUOTE]

    Because the guest still gave you what they intended to. If they bought you a toaster, they actually gave you a toaster. If you ended up donating or returning it afterward, it doesn't change the fact they gave you the gift they thought they were purchasing.

    With HM registries, many people think if they pay for a romantic dinner out or a snorkeling excursion, they are actually paying for that excursion, meaning it gets booked or the money is directly given to that place for that specific purpose. But it is not. Instead, you just get a check given to you with 5% taken out. So what they thought they purchased does not equal what they actually purchased. I see this totally different than your Goodwill example.


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  • I agree they are tacky. I have never been to a shower that was a surprise. I know that elements of the shower might be a surprise but I would say most people know the day and time of their shower.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honeymoon-registry-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0c9b0b4a-5ed9-4442-966d-adef1a8494adPost:92dae622-0ca9-475c-9ef3-d9f8cdd4bc22">Re:Honeymoon Registry?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Honeymoon Registry? : Because the guest still gave you what they intended to. If they bought you a toaster, they actually gave you a toaster. If you ended up donating or returning it afterward, it doesn't change the fact they gave you the gift they thought they were purchasing. With HM registries, many people think if they pay for a romantic dinner out or a snorkeling excursion, they are actually paying for that excursion, meaning it gets booked or the money is directly given to that place for that specific purpose. But it is not. Instead, you just get a check given to you with 5% taken out. So what they thought they purchased does not equal what they actually purchased. I see this totally different than your Goodwill example.
    Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]

    So if we created a card asking for cash donations to see such and such show...to eat breakfast at such and such or for admission into this museum it will be less tacky than a registry website?
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  • edited August 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honeymoon-registry-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0c9b0b4a-5ed9-4442-966d-adef1a8494adPost:fcca28f7-5d11-48e8-84b4-d2caed55b835">Re:Honeymoon Registry?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Honeymoon Registry? : So if we created a card asking for cash donations to see such and such show...to eat breakfast at such and such or for admission into this museum it will be less tacky than a registry website?
    Posted by diabride[/QUOTE]

    Seriously?!

    .... Just don't ask for anything. Guests will figure it out.

    ETA: Also just so you know, B listing is also tacky.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honeymoon-registry-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0c9b0b4a-5ed9-4442-966d-adef1a8494adPost:fcca28f7-5d11-48e8-84b4-d2caed55b835">Re:Honeymoon Registry?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Honeymoon Registry? : <strong> So if we created a card asking for cash donations </strong>to see such and such show...to eat breakfast at such and such or for admission into this museum it will be less tacky than a registry website?
    Posted by diabride[/QUOTE]

    Absolutely don't ask for cash donations for anything. Yuck.


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  • SnippylynnSnippylynn member
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited August 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honeymoon-registry-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0c9b0b4a-5ed9-4442-966d-adef1a8494adPost:fcca28f7-5d11-48e8-84b4-d2caed55b835">Re:Honeymoon Registry?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Honeymoon Registry? : So if we created a card asking for cash donations to see such and such show...to eat breakfast at such and such or for admission into this museum it will be less tacky than a registry website?
    Posted by diabride[/QUOTE]
     What is wrong with you? Did logic skip you when it was handed out?<div>
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  • MNVegasMNVegas member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited August 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honeymoon-registry-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0c9b0b4a-5ed9-4442-966d-adef1a8494adPost:fcca28f7-5d11-48e8-84b4-d2caed55b835">Re:Honeymoon Registry?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Honeymoon Registry? : So if we created a card asking for cash donations to see such and such show...to eat breakfast at such and such or for admission into this museum it will be less tacky than a registry website?
    Posted by diabride[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Asking for cash in any way is tacky!  Don't register for any boxed gifts or just do a small registry. People are not stupid, they already know cash is a great gift and will just put cash/check in a card.  You don't need to deceive your guest with a HMR and you will still get some money to put toward your HM. It's not that difficult to figure out.</div><div>
    </div>
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