Unpopular Opinions?

kikibaby · August 2010

I'm bored, let's talk about stuff.

I think asking guests to donate to charity is not a big deal.

I think it's weird for a dude to spend a lot of time on a wedding message board, and I think I'd be slightly uncomfortable with my FI/H doing it.

Your turn.

LD1970 · August 2010

I hate birdcage veils on pretty much everyone.

I don't see the issue with "donation favors."

I think strapless dresses are just fine on most women.

I don't really care about a cash bar.

I'm indifferent to slideshows.

I like tiaras.

I hate bouquet tosses and think garter tosses are an add-on that cheapens the party. And the bride.

I like matching bridesmaid dresses.

I think brides can dictate shoes and still expect the bridesmaids to pay for them.

I despise the idea of silver sandals as the "go-to" bridesmaid shoe.

WildRumpus · August 2010

I don't have a problem with dry weddings, as long as they're not ungodly boring. Maybe that's because we're having one though...

I don't get veils, period.

I don't mind dollar dances

georgia_bride09 · August 2010

[QUOTE]I don't think you should compromise with your FI/H on everything. (This stems from a girl on my club board who is not moving her maiden name to her middle name because her FI has a problem with it and told her that when you grow up and get married, that's "just what you do" - get rid of your last name. I would be SUPER uncomfortable with that, to the point of not wanting to marry someone who said that to me, but to each their own.) A lot of people told me they need to compromise because he might have valid reasons for not wanting her to do that to her name. Except that it isn't his name, so... Is anyone else with me? I mean, there are things where my opinion is not going to change, things where I'll gladly compromise, and things where I'll let it go and let FI have his way. And combined, I guess taking together, that's what compromise means to me.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

See, when it comes to something like, I wouldn't really even compromise; I'd do what I wanted to do. It's not his name AT ALL and doesn't affect him AT ALL. I didn't want to lose any of my names, so I'm legally a four-namer. I sign my maiden name, but my middle name is still there (and is my middle initial at work due to the crack team of IT people around here). My H was fine with it, but even if he hadn't been, I would have said, "I understand your concern; however, it's my name and I'll do what I please. Love you, mean it!"

There's a time and a place for compromise. Like childrens' names. That's an area to compromise because you're both affected. But my name is MY name.

kikibaby · August 2010

I think garter tosses are trashy. I don't even understand the point of a garter.

LD1970 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4c8aafcb-5be7-48e9-ae0e-c3d4d11fed32Post:ca943975-b424-4e29-8e74-2e1a3ea5dcc8">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]LD- I don't know if that's reeeeally a tophat ;) But I still don't think it's an overdone trend or anything. haha
Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]
Not the best photo, but there are others out there. Lots of little top hats in steampunk weddings, but usually not white.<div>
</div><div>I really love the whole steampunk thing; I think that'll be my next big costume purchase. Not for my wedding, though, for Halloween.</div>

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4c8aafcb-5be7-48e9-ae0e-c3d4d11fed32Post:683e4445-2306-4a58-a6d3-a6f81018e2ce">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions? : Yes. My mom didn't change her name to my dad's (or his brother's, same name) and I always thought I'd do the same. People have asked her how Dad felt about it and she always said that he didn't care, and that if he had, she would have changed it because it wasn't a big deal to her. When FI and I discussed it, I said I'd like to keep my name because that's what I'd always planned to do, but that I didn't really care. He asked me to please consider changing it, and I did, and now I'm changing it. But really, if he'd been a real diick about it and said that's what I HAD TO DO BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE DO, we probably wouldn't be getting married.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]

I think most guys probably assume that their future wife will change her name someday. I have no idea if my FI would prefer it, but if I really asked him, he MIGHT say it would be nice. But he would never tell me I should. And we've talked about it a few times. (Again, with absolutely no opinion from him!) But people were commenting and saying that he might have valid reasons like, "maybe he always dreamed his wife would change it!" Like that counts more than my completely valid reasons for NOT changing my name? My argument was that if they can't come to an agreement and someone has to "win" then it should be her, whose name it affects.

And yeah, his real reasoning was that by keeping her name, she was setting up their marriage to fail. *headdesk* Except she wants to change her last name. She just wanted to move her maiden name to a second middle because she doesn't have many family members left or anyone else to continue the name.

I'm really put off by the fact that anyone would think that by not changing my last name, I'm expecting my marriage to fail and that it just makes it easier for me when I inevitably get divorced and therefore won't have to change it back.

andyandhillary · August 2010

I prefer a morning wedding with a light reception/brunch than an afternoon one with appetizers. I like designated meal time weddings.

PirateintheSky · August 2010

I don't think people who don't know the bride and groom personally should be invited to the wedding. Even if you have all the money to invite whoever to the wedding.

This means the best friend of the Bride's mom, or the great grandmother of the groom, or anybody who could not pick them out of a lineup or tell by thier voice who it is on the phone.

andyandhillary · August 2010

I don't care at all about college sports. Not. One. Bit.

bellaxanthe · August 2010

I don't mind cash bars, I expect them. I hate garter tosses, dollar dances and bouquet tosses. I think cupcakes are harder to eat than cake, and harder to hide the evidence of having more than one. I think I am sick of hearing about how edible favors are the only good favors. I like birdcage veils, but I dress retro nearly every day for the past 15 years so it suits me. It doesn't suit the trendy bride who is trying to pull off a look. I like CD favors, even if they are illegal. My friends generally have great taste in music.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4c8aafcb-5be7-48e9-ae0e-c3d4d11fed32Post:4258a3a1-b623-4f82-922c-4adcef65795f">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]The only time I judge people having SUVs is when they live in a climate that doesn't need 4WD. I don't really judge their environmental issues because for all I know the owner does everything else environmentally friendly. I'm a loser like that.
Posted by andyandhillary[/QUOTE]

Well, I live in the city in SoCal, but we do a lot of hiking and camping. We don't have a 4WD car/truck, yet, but FI would like a smallish one to make certain hikes and things more accessible.

I do judge if you just have a suburban to haul your kids around. And I lived in upstate NY and did just fine with a compact car. You don't NEED 4WD just because you live someplace where it snows. They DO have snowplows and road salt. It's not like I lived on top of a mountain without a paved road.

JessAndTrav · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4c8aafcb-5be7-48e9-ae0e-c3d4d11fed32Post:564a4353-e6c7-4d0a-a771-2df1e376e268">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't care at all about college sports. Not. One. Bit.
Posted by andyandhillary[/QUOTE]

I would like to extend this to sports, in general.

golden1215 · August 2010

I dont mind charity favors/registries as long as they arent horribly politically one sided.

I dont mind HM registries if they dont charge a fee and the couple could have afford the HM themselves.

I do judge people who buy $1000 shoes to wear for 1 day. Buy awesome $100 shoes and give the rest to Feed My Starving Children. $900 would = 4,736 meals for starving children in 3rd world countries- basically feeding 1 child, everyday until they are 13.

andyandhillary · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4c8aafcb-5be7-48e9-ae0e-c3d4d11fed32Post:2d794745-73d0-4d7a-9e42-924bc85ebd3e">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions? : Well, I live in the city in SoCal, but we do a lot of hiking and camping. We don't have a 4WD car/truck, yet, but FI would like a smallish one to make certain hikes and things more accessible. I do judge if you just have a suburban to haul your kids around. And I lived in upstate NY and did just fine with a compact car. You don't NEED 4WD just because you live someplace where it snows. They DO have snowplows and road salt. It's not like I lived on top of a mountain without a paved road.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

Ha, I give you my blessing then. Hiking and camping is definitely legit. Few people actually NEED/could highly benefit from 4WD. It slays me when I see hummers in downtown Chicago and every parent in Washington, DC with an Acura or Lexus SUV.

andyandhillary · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4c8aafcb-5be7-48e9-ae0e-c3d4d11fed32Post:c6b33b9f-400b-40d4-b78b-6070c0051ee6">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]I dont mind charity favors/registries as long as they arent horribly politically one sided. I dont mind HM registries if they dont charge a fee and the couple could have afford the HM themselves. I do judge people who buy $1000 shoes to wear for 1 day. Buy awesome $100 shoes and give the rest to Feed My Starving Children. $900 would = 4,736 meals for starving children in 3rd world countries- basically feeding 1 child, everyday until they are 13.
Posted by golden1215[/QUOTE]

Just to play Devil's Advocate, you could also tell someone to stop buying coffee and/or lunch everyday and donate that money. IMO, buying an expensive pair of shoes that I'll wear frequently is much more worthwhile than a greasy burger for lunch everyday.

MattsPenguin · August 2010

I don't care about gaps. It gives me a chance to hang out with my friends and family even more.

I don't like soccer.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4c8aafcb-5be7-48e9-ae0e-c3d4d11fed32Post:564a4353-e6c7-4d0a-a771-2df1e376e268">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't care at all about college sports. Not. One. Bit.
Posted by andyandhillary[/QUOTE]

Ditto. All the colleges near my hometown suck at sports, but the pro teams were decent (once upon a time). Now I live in a huge city without a football team so EVERYONE likes college sports. I'm like... they're just 18-21 year olds who aren't even getting paid to play. Theoretically, they should be studying or something. (My dad laughed when I said that.)

JessAndTrav · August 2010

Golden, I think that argument is way too thin. I know it's unpopular opinions, and you're entitled to your opinion, but that reasoning is odd.

emilyinchile · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4c8aafcb-5be7-48e9-ae0e-c3d4d11fed32Post:c6b33b9f-400b-40d4-b78b-6070c0051ee6">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]I do judge people who buy $1000 shoes to wear for 1 day. Buy awesome $100 shoes and give the rest to Feed My Starving Children. $900 would = 4,736 meals for starving children in 3rd world countries- basically feeding 1 child, everyday until they are 13.
Posted by golden1215[/QUOTE]

By this logic we should all just have super low-cost weddings, not spend on any selfish luxuries, and donate all our extra money to charity. Nice, sure, but not particularly realistic.

I don't like avocados. In both Chile and California, this is a very unpopular opinion.

PirateintheSky · August 2010

I'm a libertarian. I believe in conservative economics and liberal social policies. I think if the government stopped chosing which charities and social programs get our help, we'd donate more of our money to the right ones and more of our money would fix more things. I think people should get a clue and mind thier own business. If Gay marriage isn't your thing, like people of the opposite sex. If your against abortions, don't get one.

MattsPenguin · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4c8aafcb-5be7-48e9-ae0e-c3d4d11fed32Post:6ed3ee11-e54a-40af-981a-cbd2dd183c28">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions? : Ditto. All the colleges near my hometown suck at sports, but the pro teams were decent (once upon a time). Now I live in a huge city without a football team so EVERYONE likes college sports. I'm like... <strong>they're just 18-21 year olds who aren't even getting paid to play</strong>. Theoretically, they should be studying or something. (My dad laughed when I said that.)
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

but that's the reason I like them so much more than pro. These kids aren't out there getting paid and being pampered (okay, unless you go to USC). They work hard to prove themselves and to get to the next level. And they're doing so while also getting a college degree.

College />>>> Pro ANY DAY OF THE WEEK!

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4c8aafcb-5be7-48e9-ae0e-c3d4d11fed32Post:95b610f6-a3ab-4f31-aafb-e66fc60c5b41">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]Golden, I think that argument is way too thin. I know it's unpopular opinions, and you're entitled to your opinion, but that reasoning is odd.
Posted by JessAndTrav[/QUOTE]

Yeah, it just devolves into a "well *I* drive a $1,000 Yugo instead of a Mercedes because I could donate that $40,000 to charity!" Will you? Probably not. I don't begrudge people having what they want and can afford.

We also made the argument that most people who buy expensive wedding shoes do NOT wear them for one day. I sure as hell won't.

And there's a difference between a $100 pair of shoes and a $1,000 pair of shoes. Both are better than a $30 pair, but the $1,000 is far better than the $100 pair.

mandysmear · August 2010

So, then I guess no one should have anything nice? So you're telling me I should have bought that condo for 50k less than my house and donated that money? Or I should buy a used car? Or that $50 I am saving a month on cable I should give to starving children? How about that pedicure I had in fargo?

That's a ridiculous argument.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4c8aafcb-5be7-48e9-ae0e-c3d4d11fed32Post:b09ecfcf-611a-439f-82bb-cd77aed01a65">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions? : By this logic we should all just have super low-cost weddings, not spend on any selfish luxuries, and donate all our extra money to charity. Nice, sure, but not particularly realistic. <strong>I don't like avocados. In both Chile and California, this is a very unpopular opinion.</strong>
Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

VERY. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-tongue-out.gif" border="0" alt="Tongue out" title="Tongue out" /> I love them (LOVE), but I can see how some people think the flavor and texture are weird.

I actually went to an avocado festival 2 years ago in Carpenteria, CA.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4c8aafcb-5be7-48e9-ae0e-c3d4d11fed32Post:feacaac0-8025-4d15-afb1-d5b371400c67">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm a libertarian. I believe in conservative economics and liberal social policies. I think if the government stopped chosing which charities and social programs get our help, we'd donate more of our money to the right ones and more of our money would fix more things. I think people should get a clue and mind thier own business. If Gay marriage isn't your thing, like people of the opposite sex. If your against abortions, don't get one.
Posted by PirateintheSky[/QUOTE]

I agree with you in a way, but I also think you have to have a LOT of faith in humanity to think we can really off a fully libertarian system. I just don't trust people to do the right thing that much.

missy68 · August 2010

I disagree with the 4WD opinion. It is necessary quite a few times to switch our truck into 4WD to even get out of our neighborhood and drive some of the less passable roads.

Salt doesn't work when it's well below freezing; certainly not 20 below. The road may be plowed, but an incline or even a road will have a nice layer of ice/packed slick snow underneath it.

We also travel to places where we have used the 4WD (dirt bike trails). So yes, it can be a necessity. And there will be 2 soon.

PirateintheSky · August 2010

Are we supposed to be attacking other's unpopular opinions on the unpopular opinions forum?

I thought it was more just to voice our opinions.

andyandhillary · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4c8aafcb-5be7-48e9-ae0e-c3d4d11fed32Post:75f782ba-61f9-4e24-8702-a089886ca1d5">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions? : I agree with you in a way, but I also think you have to have a LOT of faith in humanity to think we can really off a fully libertarian system. I just don't trust people to do the right thing that much.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

But then you trust people to work in government and do it anyway. Someone is going to make those calls, some people prefer it be themselves and some prefer it be some faceless entity/bureaucrats.

andyandhillary · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_unpopular-opinions-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4c8aafcb-5be7-48e9-ae0e-c3d4d11fed32Post:5cea9173-6252-4ebb-a794-44621f3e7333">Re: Unpopular Opinions?</a>:
[QUOTE]Are we supposed to be attacking other's unpopular opinions on the unpopular opinions forum? I thought it was more just to voice our opinions.
Posted by PirateintheSky[/QUOTE]

You can voice your opinion and people can voice their opinion about your opinion.

zippityb · August 2010

I do not care for candy corn.

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