So my sister/ MOH, a rant/ vent

[Deleted User] · January 2011

Is kinda a jerk... Last night during the invite debacle. My mom mentions that she was talking to my sister about my shower since my booked my ticket home.

My mom told my sister it was going to be the weekend of April 15th, but the day TBD depending on if the other BM could come or not as they are all far OOT.

My sister, who lives at home btw, asks my mom if she needs to be there. My mom said, "yes b/c you are hosting."

So this really pissed my sister off as she has "stuff to do" with her friends etc. She is 20, which is important to the story in that she has a whole different life. She has also never been to a shower and has only been to 2 weddings.

I know my other BM might not be able to come and it makes me sad, but I understand, esp since I live far away. I am glad they will be apart of my wedding as it's the most important part.

However my live at home sister has got to be kidding. I know she's young and is clueless, but come on.

Stacylynn702 · January 2011

I can relate to this but NWR. DH's sister is like that although she's a little older than your sister. I'm glad that your mom defended you though being that's the right thing to do, she should be there and want to be there over being with friends.

We had a whole other issue a couple of years ago with DH's sister and his parents defended her saying she's only however old and has a social life blah blah blah....me and DH were so hurt by that b/c in fact, she was in the wrong.

I suggest you take it with a grain of salt and forget about it. Try not to worry about too much at this point, you're wedding is just around the corner. Feel free to vent away though. It feels good.

[Deleted User] · January 2011

I was taking to Cara about it last night. We think she just doesn't get it b/c she's young.

rachelk456 · January 2011

Boy I can relate too! My sister/MOH is also 20 and I also feel like we are just at such different places in our lives. She's never been to a shower or wedding, and while she is at least more willing to contribute than your sister is, she is definitely not as into it if it were me in her position. On top of it, I also have a BM who cannot come due to distance! That's frustrating because if she were closer she would probably be able to help my sister quite a bit. Sigh. I know how you feel!

a.lemma4 · January 2011

That would hurt my feelings a lot too. My sister is only 19 and she puts my wedding before everything. She understands how important it is and is excited about it.

Maybe you should talk to her about it?

miguelhilary2010 · January 2011

Vent away, but don't let it get to you too much. She's obviously very invested in her own life and what she feels like doing. Don't take it too personally, because she would probably be the same way with anyone else at this point (friends, cousins, etc.). On top of being at the top of her own proirity list, she probably doesn't know what she needs to be doing, and instead of stepping up and asking, she'd rather step out and let someone else do it.

[Deleted User] · January 2011

I think part of the problem may be that I'm so far away. Maybe.

IDK.

I'm sure she will be excited when it's here.

Stacylynn702 · January 2011

She will be excited. She needs to figure out what's important, and she will. I agree it has to do with her age. Priorities definitely change as we get older. I was in my sisters wedding when I was 23 and I was clueless as far as planning. Plus, I also felt overwhelmed b/c I was the youngest and the MOH and all of her friends who were in their 30s and 40s (my sis is 15 years older than me) took over.

miguelhilary2010 · January 2011

Distance does play a part in it. Hopefully your experience is better than mine was though, because most of our family/BP didn't process what was going on until the week of the wedding when everything was already done and I didn't need any help. I guess that since I wasn't in any of their faces with wedding "stuff" they were very disconnected from it.

DianaM27 · January 2011

This is the right place to vent....so let it all out. As i read your post I thought to myself this is exactly why my little sister also 20 is not my MOH or even a bridesmaid because she would totally pull a stunt just like your sister and on another note she is a complete mess in life and could never get her act together to be a real BM. And she would just stress me out and be a bridesmaidzilla and it would just ruin the whole experience.

I think you're right when you attribute a lot of it to her age and lack of wedding related experiences. I know if I was the sister I would be sooo excited to be such an important part but some 20 year olds can't even comprehend marriage let alone all the details that go into planning and organizing it. And it may be that you're far away so it doesn't seem so close and real to her. And then it could also be (I obv. don't know your sister, but keeping my sister in mind) she may be a bit jealous of you getting the attention and everyone focusing on you instead of herself (20 can be a selfish time in ones life).

I'm glad your Mom stood up for you and I think Mom is a great candidate to run interferance btw you and your sister when things like this pop up. As long as she has a smile on her face at the shower you can ignore her comments. Good luck with it and I hope you can still enjoy the excitement leading up to your shower!!

[Deleted User] · January 2011

My mom its nuts as well!

My mom said something to her b/c she doesn't want to do all the work.

happywithhim715 · January 2011

Vent away! It always helps make you feel better.. I would try to talk to her I think her age might limit her knowledge of how important this event is to the BRIDE... My sister is 22 years old and she was my MOH. She had trouble in the beginning grasping the concepts of everything because she just isnt at that point in her life and has never been in a wedding before, let alone a MOH. I talked to her about everything we had to do, she helped slightly but she lives in VA so she isnt always home.

It is good that your mom spoke up for you... She will get excited as it gets closer... but for now you might want to talk to her about it

DianaM27 · January 2011

Hahaha oh geez crazy Mom and little sis MOH... I feel ya! I figured I could deal with only one crazy related woman in my wedding and it had to be Mom cause she's paying for the reception...haha.

I see a lot of deep breathing and cocktails as you countdown the days till wedding day!

So my sister/ MOH, a rant/ vent

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