Bridesmaid's New Boyfriend?!

Re: Bridesmaid's New Boyfriend?!

• emilykathleen511

  

  May 2010

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaids-new-boyfriend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:78473b0f-b291-41aa-a870-6267a1d9998dPost:b76fea0a-364a-4578-8962-a2e849ab7751">Bridesmaid's New Boyfriend?!</a>:
  [QUOTE]I need some advice!  After my fiance and I sent out our invitations, one of my bridesmaids informed me that she just started dating a guy she used to go to school with.  We addressed the invitation to her only.  So my question is, are my fiance and I obligated to invite this new boyfriend of hers when they're only going to be dating a month and a half by the time our wedding day comes?  She hasn't mentioned anything to me, and I'm not sure she's going to, but what would be the best way to respond if she asked if he was invited as well?  I'm so lost!  I would appreciate any help you can give me!  Thanks so much! 
  Posted by dancer14007[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>Well, the rule is that anyone in an established relationship needs to be invited with their significant other. In the case of your bridal party, I would let them bring a date regardless since they are probably spending a lot more time and money on your wedding than the average guest. So in this case, either way, I would let your bridesmaid bring her boyfriend.</div>

  
  
  

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• dancer14007

  

  May 2010

  Just to clarifty, we sent out the invitations before she started dating this guy.  We had no knowledge of their becoming a couple until after she received the invitation, which is why it was addressed to her only.

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• emilykathleen511

  

  May 2010

  So I wouldn't stress about the invite, and if she asks about it, just say, "Oh, yeah, we already sent out the invites when you told me your good news, of course he can come with you!"

  
  
  

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• banana468 member

  

  May 2010

  I wouldn't worry about how you addressed the invitation. 
  
  BUT, it's been brought to your attention now so she'll be with this guy for two months (assuming they began dating more than a week ago) at your wedding.  Be the bigger person here and let her bring the date...and seat them together too.
  

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• jagore08 member

  

  May 2010

  To be the nice person you should just let her know that he is also invited as her date if she wishes to bring him.  Obviously she knows that the invites were sent before they were in a relationship so that's no big deal.  

  Ignorance is a poor defense.

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• emilyinchile member

  

  May 2010

  It would be really nice of you to let her know that she can bring him. Since presumably you've planned for the possibility of 100% attendance, and you are pretty unlikely to get that, adding one more person shouldn't break the bank.

  

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• aerinpegadrak member

  

  May 2010

  I sent an invitation to my dad and stepmom... and then was informed that they'd separated.  Oops.  When he told me that, I told him he could bring someone else to the wedding instead.
  
  You can't be held accountable for what you didn't know at the time, so don't worry that he wasn't on the invite.  But I think letting your BM know verbally that she's welcome to bring a date is fine. 

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• ancavaz member

  

  May 2010

  I think you should let you friend bring your new bf. I extra person won't break the bank, and your venue should be able to accomodate it.
  
  I was at a wedding a few years ago where one of the groom's best friends was not allowed to bring a date because he didn't have a 'life partner'. He  was quite upset over this and felt judged by all this non-single friends. 
  I'm not willing to deal with any drama of the sort so we are letting all our single guests bring a date.
  
  Think of how much more fun the wedding would be for your friend if she had someone to dance with

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• 526SadieSadie

  

  May 2010

  Yeah, one more person isn't going to break your budget   Especially since she's a bridesmaid and a good friend, let her bring her new guy. 

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• fawnkay0ne member

  

  May 2010

  If they are in a relationship, not simply "dating" and you are not having a head table, I say let her bring him.
  
  We had a head table and anyone in the WP who was in a relationship/married got an invite that included their SO, but single people didn't get to bring a date.  We had more than one reason, but part of it was because they would have been sat with complete strangers all night.  At least the SO's had been around for a while, and already knew other people who were attending the wedding.
  
  That being said, no matter what your seating arrangements are, if she asks if he can come, I completely agree that you should be gracious and allow her to bring him.
  
  
  

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• melissamc2 member

  

  May 2010

  The wedding party generally gets a +1 regardless of relationship situation, so just make sure you inform her that he's welcome.  If she's close enough to you to be a bridesmaid, she's close enough to just have a common sense conversation about the change in relationship status.
  
  Good luck and congratulations.
  

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• MyNameIsNot member

  

  May 2010

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaids-new-boyfriend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:78473b0f-b291-41aa-a870-6267a1d9998dPost:60e2091e-47e4-40df-b898-71a82a34c03d">Re: Bridesmaid's New Boyfriend?!</a>:
  [QUOTE]If they are in a relationship, not simply "dating" and you are not having a head table, I say let her bring him. We had a head table and anyone in the WP who was in a relationship/married got an invite that included their SO, but single people didn't get to bring a date.  We had more than one reason, but part of it was because they would have been sat with complete strangers all night.  <strong>At least the SO's had been around for a while, and already knew other people who were attending the wedding.</strong> That being said, no matter what your seating arrangements are, if she asks if he can come, I completely agree that you should be gracious and allow her to bring him. :)
  Posted by fawnkay0ne[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>The fact that they had been dating a while didn't excuse your rude behavior in separating couples!</div><div>
  </div><div>OP, go ahead and let her know she can bring them.  WP members are normally invited with a date, even if others aren't.  She's not being rude about it.  One person isn't going to break the bank.  </div>

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• ellen73

  

  May 2010

  My FI and I went to three weddings the first three months we were dating. For the first wedding we were all the month before the wedding, and they invited my FI as well.  I will always be grateful for being given a last minute +1 to my invite!  

  

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