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Bride troubles

kmbsfkmbsf
in Wedding Hair, Makeup, & Beauty Forums
I recently got the very excited phone call from a someone telling me that she was engaged.  What followed was her TELLING me that I was going to be a bridesmaid, what color I had to die my hair for the wedding, and several other things that I was not very happy to be told.  

Two days later, I received a phone call asking me if and when I was going to have a baby and her telling me that I had to make sure that it did not interfere with her wedding.  

The first day I was hoping that she was excited and that she would lay off some of the demands.  The pregnancy comment sent me a little over the edge.  

Without giving too much detail so that no one recognizes her here, I cannot just refuse to be a bridesmaid.  However I am considering being 9 months pregnant so I don't have to deal with the wedding.  How do I tell her to calm down and stop making demands?  Two of us are already about to explode over this.  
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Re: Bride troubles

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    SugarFooteSugarFoote
    First Comment
    edited April 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-beauty_bride-troubles?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:358Discussion:50cb5156-50c4-429e-8d4b-2fb4e8001234Post:9ba544c7-6830-4a46-979b-20d7b5fc437f">Bride troubles</a>:
    [QUOTE]I recently got the very excited phone call from a someone telling me that she was engaged.  What followed was her TELLING me that I was going to be a bridesmaid, what color I had to die my hair for the wedding, and several other things that I was not very happy to be told.   Two days later, I received a phone call asking me if and when I was going to have a baby and her telling me that I had to make sure that it did not interfere with her wedding.   The first day I was hoping that she was excited and that she would lay off some of the demands.  The pregnancy comment sent me a little over the edge.   Without giving too much detail so that no one recognizes her here, I cannot just refuse to be a bridesmaid.  <strong>However I am considering being 9 months pregnant so I don't have to deal with the wedding.</strong>  How do I tell her to calm down and stop making demands?  Two of us are already about to explode over this.  
    Posted by kmbsf[/QUOTE]

    The bolded really disturbs me. That is a terrible reason to have a baby. There are so many couples who want to have children and can't, and here you are "considering" having a child just so you don't have to be in a wedding.

    You CAN decline being a BM.

    A bride CANNOT dictate your reproductive schedule, nor can she dictate what color hair you have.

    ETA: Honestly, if she is acting like this, she can't be too good of a friend.
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    KittennDaveKittennDave
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    Now not that this would be an excuse for what she said (I mean the pregnancy comment, what the heck??), but is it possible that she's just really worried and overreacting? Have you two tried sitting down with a neutral person to talk things out? Really sorry to hear that the experience hasn't been so great for you :(
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    katy0990katy0990 member
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    Im sorry to hear about the issues you are having. Were you contemplating becoming pregnant before she made the comment? if so I would just be honest and tell her that you are planning on TTC and 1) You will be prego for the wedding hopefully and 2) you are not comfortable dying your hair while trying to become pregagers. If you are only considering having a baby to get out of the wedding. As pp have said do not do it! Please! I would think seriously before deciding to be in the wedding and talk to her frankly about it. Afterall you do not have to have YOUR live turned upside down because of HER wedding. Good luck!
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    Strv2perfectionStrv2perfection
    First Comment
    edited April 2012
    Wow I have been through this also. My hair had to be a certain way (she wasn't paying) no pregnancy, certain jewelry. I happen to get my pregnant and so did her other bridesmaids. I dropped out and she eloped. Bridezilla at her finest!
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