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How would you do this?

sinnedambitionsinnedambition member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Michigan-Detroit
My father passed away in 2005. It's been very rough for everyone, especially my mom. We have decided to nix any major "memorial"-esque items at the ceremony/reception.

My mom mentioned going to the cemetery and leaving a flower from my boquet on my dad's grave. The ceremony and cemetery sites are very close and almost equal distance to the reception hall.

Would you go before the ceremony? (for the alone time with just the mom, sans groom)
After the ceremony? (with the groom)
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Re: How would you do this?

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    emarston1emarston1 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    When will you be doing your pictures?  Because you won't want to rush through your pictures nor will you want to rush that private moment at the cemetary.
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    Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Either of those ideas are lovely. If they are close together you could do it either time.

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    corinne2010corinne2010
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    What a nice idea to honor your dad. I would say go with your mom and your FI. He's now a part of your life and if it were me, I would want FI to share something like that.

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    pattye14pattye14
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree I would go with your FI, I would definately want to include my FI in something like that.  And eventhough I don't know yours, I'm sure he would love to be involved with that.
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    brobin01brobin01
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would def bring FI along. Wow, I'm not sure if I would go before or after the ceremony. hmmmm.I would say..before. But I would make sure my make-up artist had time to touch me up b/c I'm a cry baby and would be a mess.
    That will be a beautiful moment for you, mom and FI to honor your day :).
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    boogerbearoriginalboogerbearoriginal member
    First Comment First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    That sounds like a beautiful way to honor your Dad. I would be inclined to go after the ceremony because I know I would be very emotional and I'd like to have FI there for support. Its up to you whatever feels right for you and your family.
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    thecatsfancythecatsfancy
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    edited December 2011
    My vote is for after the ceremony so your (then!) Husband can be with you.
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    klreese0213klreese0213 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    would you consider taking a picture or two with your fiance and your father's grave? maybe that sounds a bit morbid... but personally, i find it relaxing to visit my grandmothers grave. (i hope i dont sound like a freak-show lol)
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    Lakerchic7272Lakerchic7272 member
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    edited December 2011
    This is a really tough situation but a great idea on your mothers part.  I think I would go alone with your mother before hand to calm your nerves and talk with your dad before.  I think it would be great after, but after is a time of celebration, versus before you and your mother can "talk" to your dad and it can be the replacement of him walking you down the isle.

    But I totally agree with pp. do what seems right for your family.
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    Soon-to-be-Mrs-KuzniaSoon-to-be-Mrs-Kuznia
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I can completely sympathize with you.  My dad passed away 12 years ago when I was 15.  FI and I decided that the day of the wedding, after the ceremony and before the reception, him and I are going to go to the cemetary.  We have decided to do some tasteful pictures at the grave to include him in our special day.  I have decided that I will be leaving my bouquet there at his grave (after stealing a couple of flowers from it for scrapbooking!) as a memorial thing for him.  That day is going to be emotional anyway and I'm sure I will be a mess in those pictures (I was hardcore daddy's little girl!), but I personally like the idea of having that memory.  Gives me the feeling that he is a part of our special day.  You have to choose what is best for you.  Good luck!  :) 
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