Children at your reception

CaseynMike · May 2012

Is anyone planning on having children at your reception? I really just want to have the children at my reception that will be in my wedding...which are our kids (4), my nieces, his nephews and my little brother. Being that most of my family is coming from out of town and damn near everyone has a child... I really don't want to pay for 20 extra kids to be at the reception. Am I wrong?

rowenac82 · May 2012

Nope, it's quite common that people choose to have an adult reception. I have seen invitations that say, "Adult reception to follow" to give the hint that you should probably look for a babysitter that night. I didn't put it on my invitation but it's on my website. I figure I will deal with the RSVPs as they come. All of my invites are addressed to Mr. and Mrs. "Fill in the blank". So that suggest that only the parents are invited. But I am sure I will still get RSVPs coming in saying, we are bringing our 4 children. Depending on how my RSVPs go, if I get back enough no's I will let close family members bring their kids. Might be unfair to my friends with kids but hey, whatever!

MrsSmith2Be02 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_children-at-your-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:1e2a9e33-04d3-471e-86ed-227990bd7486Post:12d31b50-d978-4e7f-8765-afeea4dec219">Children at your reception</a>:
[QUOTE]Is anyone planning on having children at your reception? I really just want to have the children at my reception that will be in my wedding...which are our kids (4), my nieces, his nephews and my little brother. Being that most of my family is coming from out of town and damn near everyone has a child... I really don't want to pay for 20 extra kids to be at the reception. Am I wrong?
Posted by CaseynMike[/QUOTE]

Nope not at all. The only children that will be at mine (in a separate room) will be the 6 that are in the wedding party. 2 belong to me, 2 others are the best man and one of my bridesmaids, and the other 2 are my cousins.

Elizabeth80 · May 2012

I agree with Rowena. Even though etiquette says not to we did put 'Adults Only' on the reception card. We are only have the children in the wedding party invited. I have a good relationship with our guests children but unfortunately their parents do not have a handle on their behaivor. So to avoid this I had to say no kids. We have had some back lash from a few parents which is sad because its a free 'lunch date' on us. But thats not our problem and if they are offended that much that they don't want to come then so be it.

CaseynMike · May 2012

I think it will be ok if I tell them in advance. I just really don't want to pay full price for an 8 year old that isn't getting all of my monies worth at the recpetion...Thanks for the idea though!

Strv2perfection · May 2012

At first we said no but my 3 kids and he wants his sisters 4 kids there. Most of my cousins have kids and there coming from out of town. I know how hard it can be to find a sitter so I kinda want kids there now.

rowenac82 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_children-at-your-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:1e2a9e33-04d3-471e-86ed-227990bd7486Post:309c8513-801b-4af2-a201-c3bffc321f82">Re: Children at your reception</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it will be ok if I tell them in advance. I just really don't want to pay full price for an 8 year old that isn't getting all of my monies worth at the recpetion...Thanks for the idea though!
Posted by CaseynMike[/QUOTE]

<div>Most reception venues offer special pricing for kids. My coordinator didn't even have me include the number of kids in minimum since there is a different price for them. She just said when I get back my RSVPs, I could then tell her how many kids and they will figure out final costs. </div>

pearls687 · May 2012

We are having an adult reception also. Our wedding party is our three teenagers and the only other kids there will be three teenage hostesses. We've gotten minimal backlash about it and two people wrote in their kids' names on the RSVPs, but we're sticking to our guns. We did provide child care options for our OOT guests at their own expense.

keyaira04 · May 2012

I agree with PP on no children or young teens there other than FI's nieces and nephews, 3 being in the wedding. FI figured the younger ones would not be there anyway due to bahavior issues. Due to having a smaller wedding, we didnt really want kids there taking adult spaces. It sucks a little, as our wedding is coming off of a holiday. We figure most parents will drive down the day of to with their kids on July 4th or not come at all, which is half of our plan...anyways, back to the topic...We would also told this we had to pay full price for children 5 and up, so that made our thought on no kids final.

CaseynMike · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_children-at-your-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:1e2a9e33-04d3-471e-86ed-227990bd7486Post:8d9a6126-11fc-49d7-81db-899ff1b15445">Re: Children at your reception</a>:
[QUOTE]At first we said no but my 3 kids and he wants his sisters 4 kids there. Most of my cousins have kids and there coming from out of town. I know how hard it can be to find a sitter so I kinda want kids there now.
Posted by Strv2perfection[/QUOTE]

I am just on the fence about it. But I am going to talk to all my family members with children THIS MONTH IN 2012 and by JULY 2013 hopefully they can have their kids situated!

CaseynMike · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_children-at-your-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:1e2a9e33-04d3-471e-86ed-227990bd7486Post:fdba6f37-e7cf-4c97-b68f-03b3b17c0824">Re: Children at your reception</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Children at your reception : Most reception venues offer special pricing for kids. My coordinator didn't even have me include the number of kids in minimum since there is a different price for them. She just said when I get back my RSVPs, I could then tell her how many kids and they will figure out final costs.
Posted by rowenac82[/QUOTE]

My reception hall charges for kids 8 and older....grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

MrsBoss2012 · May 2012

I think it is no problem at all. We put on our website that no children are allowed. We will be allowing just a few that we are really close with (1 niece, 2 nephews, 4 cousins). I just didn't want my coworkers and distant relatives bringing babies and kids.

ejagers · May 2012

Nope, I actually did put "adult reception to follow" on my invitation

because I don't want kids there if they are'nt in the wedding party. However, I made exceptions for family members whose babysitters are gonna be at the wedding and OOT guests as well. We were gonna spring for a sitter to watch the kids in another room of the area but folks were saying they were not comfortable letting someone they didn't know watch their kids.

CaseynMike · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_children-at-your-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:1e2a9e33-04d3-471e-86ed-227990bd7486Post:c7104689-466e-4eab-815d-2c0da2e192b8">Re: Children at your reception</a>:
[QUOTE]We are having an adult reception also. Our wedding party is our three teenagers and the only other kids there will be three teenage hostesses. We've gotten minimal backlash about it and two people wrote in their kids' names on the RSVPs, but we're sticking to our guns. We did provide child care options for our OOT guests at their own expense.
Posted by pearls687[/QUOTE]

I am not sure of babysitting options except for the oldest cousins babysitting the youngest cousins at the hotel....it would be about 6 hours.....grrrr

CaseynMike · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_children-at-your-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:1e2a9e33-04d3-471e-86ed-227990bd7486Post:2f3d772b-b242-40ca-8451-39b3fd5da0a2">Re: Children at your reception</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with PP on no children or young teens there other than FI's nieces and nephews, 3 being in the wedding. FI figured the younger ones would not be there anyway due to bahavior issues. Due to having a smaller wedding, we didnt really want kids there taking adult spaces. It sucks a little, as our wedding is coming off of a holiday. We figure most parents will drive down the day of to with their kids on July 4th or not come at all, which is half of our plan...anyways, back to the topic...We would also told this we had to pay full price for children 5 and up, so that made our thought on no kids final.
Posted by keyaira04[/QUOTE]

Well the drive from Houston to N.O. is a bit of a stretch...My ceremony is going to start at either noon or 1 pm so.....I am just going to bite the bullet and just have people be upset but I just don't want to pay full price for the billion kids my family has when we could invite more adults to be in those 20 places....

keyaira04 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_children-at-your-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:1e2a9e33-04d3-471e-86ed-227990bd7486Post:ffa78b03-b3ee-409d-8f0e-dd1c712d7a80">Re: Children at your reception</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Children at your reception : Well the drive from Houston to N.O. is a bit of a stretch...My ceremony is going to start at either noon or 1 pm so.....I am just going to bite the bullet and just have people be upset but I just don't want to pay full price for the billion kids my family has when we could invite more adults to be in those 20 places....
Posted by CaseynMike[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Good! like PP said, stick you guns and do what you want. Many blessings to you.

</div>

msbdumas · May 2012

I too will be having an adult reception and will be noting it as well with the exception of our 3 boys and 1 neice and the oot guest which is 3 kids...other than that if ppl cant come because of the kids..im sorry but we're on a very tight budget..if all possible im trying to find a realtive you plans to not attend to keep my boys and my step son can just go home to his mom !

MissusD1116 · May 2012

Uh adults only for me and yes, it's going on my invite! Sorry, I'm straight to the point with that one.

Elizabeth80 · May 2012

Our venue told us the same thing. I had to ask her twice to be sure I heard right. Like why not 10. I can guarantee a 6 year old is not eating that much more then a 5 year old. I thought maybe from 5-10 they might still have a children's price but they don't:/

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_children-at-your-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:1e2a9e33-04d3-471e-86ed-227990bd7486Post:2f3d772b-b242-40ca-8451-39b3fd5da0a2">Re: Children at your reception</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with PP on no children or young teens there other than FI's nieces and nephews, 3 being in the wedding. FI figured the younger ones would not be there anyway due to bahavior issues. Due to having a smaller wedding, we didnt really want kids there taking adult spaces. It sucks a little, as our wedding is coming off of a holiday. We figure most parents will drive down the day of to with their kids on July 4th or not come at all, which is half of our plan...anyways, back to the topic...We would also told this we had to pay full price for children 5 and up, so that made our thought on no kids final.
Posted by keyaira04[/QUOTE]

CaseynMike · May 2012

they owner at my venue said that in the past they have had issues with more kids wasting food than eating it... and its nice to have a venue that wants to save you money when they have seen it be wasted because kids pile up plates and don't eat it all and it ends up in the trash. so there you have it....just the kids in the wedding party will be the only children there....Maybe we can have a crawfish boil where the kids can come later....

kaimah · May 2012

No children at our reception. There is a room in the hotel where people can drop their kids off for a small fee. I will provide pizza and juice for the kids.

CaseynMike · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_children-at-your-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:1e2a9e33-04d3-471e-86ed-227990bd7486Post:bfa9d66b-b47b-482c-8794-10a055707ba3">Re: Children at your reception</a>:
[QUOTE]No children at our reception. There is a room in the hotel where people can drop their kids off for a small fee. I will provide pizza and juice for the kids.
Posted by kaimah[/QUOTE]

that is a good idea but we will be at a recepion building....hotels are tooooooo expensive for us lol

RealHappyGal · May 2012

the only kids that will be at my reception/ceremony are the two I birthed

M1ssJ · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_children-at-your-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:1e2a9e33-04d3-471e-86ed-227990bd7486Post:12d31b50-d978-4e7f-8765-afeea4dec219">Children at your reception</a>:
[QUOTE]Is anyone planning on having children at your reception? I really just want to have the children at my reception that will be in my wedding...which are our kids (4), my nieces, his nephews and my little brother. B<strong>eing that most of my family is coming from out of town and damn near everyone has a child..</strong>. I really don't want to pay for 20 extra kids to be at the reception. Am I wrong?
Posted by CaseynMike[/QUOTE]

<div>How far out of town? Like a flight? A 2 hour drive? Would they be able to get a babysitter and get back to th if per child after the wedding?</div><div>
</div><div>I know you dont want to pay but if people are flying or driving far for the wedding , I would suck it up. I didn't want kids in the room driving up the cost so the venue gave us a side room and I'm hiring 3 sitters from a local church to watch them , the venue also gave me a basic kid menu since they're not using silverware linen, etc. $7 </div><div>
</div><div>ETA: I just read the thread. I would provide some options. Contact local churches thats a long drive with nowhere to leave your kids</div>

SunnyBB · May 2012

The only kids allowed are those that are in the wedding and kids of those in the bridal party (since they are coming from out of town). I made sure to get the word out that we were doing an evening wedding that was a seated dinner and only the adults receiving the invitations were invited.

CaseynMike · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_children-at-your-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:1e2a9e33-04d3-471e-86ed-227990bd7486Post:e976de36-3f5a-4d96-95ea-86f30c755fb4">Re: Children at your reception</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Children at your reception : How far out of town? Like a flight? A 2 hour drive? Would they be able to get a babysitter and get back to th if per child after the wedding? I know you dont want to pay but if people are flying or driving far for the wedding , I would suck it up. I didn't want kids in the room driving up the cost so the venue gave us a side room and I'm hiring 3 sitters from a local church to watch them , the venue also gave me a basic kid menu since they're not using silverware linen, etc. $7 ETA: I just read the thread. I would provide some options. Contact local churches thats a long drive with nowhere to leave your kids
Posted by M1ssJ[/QUOTE]

<font color="#008000">Hoston to New Orleans is a 5-6 hour drive depending on how you drive. Ant the flight is about an hour proably 45 minutes. Where our reception venue is located is in Metairie (10 minutes outside New Orleans) and our hotels are in the city...so I wouldnt be able to hire a sitter. My venue charges the same price for an 8 yr old as they do an adult so I am going to have to look into this option thing!</font>

M1ssJ · May 2012

@Casey- is there a separate room at the venue? You could have the sitter come there and have pizza for them

AMISSA31 · May 2012

We don't want any kids at our reception. We are not having flower girl or ring bearer. We are spreading the word now and we are getting responses like "good, I can enjoy myself!" or "sounds good!" It's a Friday night event and many parents want 2 have a night out without their little ones!! Cool for us!!

kikilay17 · May 2012

i wish i would of stuck to my guns about no kids i actually only had one kid that i was worried about acting crazy at my wedding. Guess what he acted a fool and his parents just sat there i had to drag him off the dance floor for our first dance he ran around my reception driving a piece of bread and yes i said driving... he was running behind us at the head table and almost slid into the cake 4 times and please believe if he would of ruined it his mom would of been writing me a check. so i totally dont think ur wrong for not wanting to pay for them i would word it nicely to people couple with kids its a date night on u.

mandydc0509 · May 2012

This is becoming pretty common. You shouldn't feel bad about it. Your guests will understand, and if they don't, that's a few less ppl to pay for.

My FI and I chose to include children on the invite bc we didn't want to inconvenience ppl coming to our wedding (he has 7 nieces and nephews and ALL of his siblings are involved in the wedding). Plus, we know the kids that are invited and know that they will 1) behave or 2) their parents know how to take care if it if they don't.

Plus, this is just how our family does things. Kids are a part of the celebration. All of the kids that could possibly show up are children of close family members; I want them to be there. It's not going to ruin my fun, just maybe the parents, but they clearly have the option to not bring them. Several ppl ended up not rsvping for their kids which is great, but we budgeted for everyone.

Demea · May 2012

Only having the children from the wedding. If it comes down to it, OOTs kids will be allowed. It shouldn't be many at all.

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