Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum
Wedding Etiquette Forum
New Discussion

"...Request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their son"? Invitation etiquett

ajones108ajones108
First Comment First Anniversary
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I found the most beautiful invitation on David's Bridal that I absolutely love and want to order. Only problem: It says "{Bride's Parents} request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter." Aaaaaand, well, my family situation isn't one that this line would be considered correct. I want to know if changing this line to say "...son" would even be... politically correct? What do you ladies think about this?

Here is a snapshot of the invitation:

(Removed, thanks ladies!)
Report Reply to Post

Re: "...Request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their son"? Invitation etiquett

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    I don't see a problem with it at all if they are hosting and hence doing the inviting.  "Honour of your presence" is typically what is used for a church wedding, if you are not married in a church it is  more appropriate to say "request the pleasure of your company".
    Report Reply
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Or, if you mean that your parents wouldn't be hosting.  You can just start with your names and then "request the pleasure of your company"
    Report Reply
  • StephJean83StephJean83 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_request-the-honour-of-your-presence-at-the-marriage-of-their-son-invitation-etiquette-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:533eec41-ebb3-4ac9-969d-00f4b7e5299aPost:d0886cb3-a1aa-4cc6-847b-59b617c89f13">Re: "...Request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their son"? Invitation etiquette question!</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Cranes says that on the invitation to the ceremony, the bride's parents are listed at the top</strong>, the invitation to the reception (if seperate) can have the host listed at top.
    Posted by NYUgirl100[/QUOTE]

    What do they say when it is a same sex couple getting married? Or what if the bride's parents are not in the picture at all?
    You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back. - Barbara DeAngelis
    Report Reply
  • mcda04mcda04 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_request-the-honour-of-your-presence-at-the-marriage-of-their-son-invitation-etiquette-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:533eec41-ebb3-4ac9-969d-00f4b7e5299aPost:7f9f3e38-4797-4ca3-9e0a-75bf4503b077">"...Request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their son"? Invitation etiquette question!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I found the most beautiful invitation on David's Bridal that I absolutely love and want to order. Only problem: It says "{Bride's Parents} request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter." Aaaaaand, well, my family situation isn't one that this line would be considered correct. I want to know if changing this line to say "...son" would even be... politically correct? What do you ladies think about this? Here is a snapshot of the invitation:
    Posted by ajones108[/QUOTE]

    The invitations don't have to read as noted. You can modify the invitations and add / remove lines as needed. I also ordered mine through DB, and translated to spanish.

    When you at it to the cart, you're able to personalize as you please. Even fonts. Pretty cool and inexpensive.
    Report Reply
  • AroundTheBlockAroundTheBlock member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited December 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_request-the-honour-of-your-presence-at-the-marriage-of-their-son-invitation-etiquette-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:533eec41-ebb3-4ac9-969d-00f4b7e5299aPost:7f9f3e38-4797-4ca3-9e0a-75bf4503b077">"...Request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their son"? Invitation etiquette question!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I found the most beautiful invitation on David's Bridal that I absolutely love and want to order. Only problem: It says "{Bride's Parents} request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter." Aaaaaand, well, my family situation isn't one that this line would be considered correct. I want to know if changing this line to say "...son" would even be... politically correct? What do you ladies think about this? Here is a snapshot of the invitation:
    Posted by ajones108[/QUOTE]

    That depends. Is this a wedding of two gentlemen, or of a trans bride? If so, it is obvious that there is no "nearest kinswoman of the bride" who takes precedence in claiming the right to host the wedding reception.

    You see, by traditional formal etiquette, a wedding is hosted by the bride's family and is the last social event before she becomes part of the groom's family. If she instead turns to the groom's family to host the event it raises the question of, just what is wrong with her own family and her own social origens, that she is so ashamed of them. So, of course if it is a two-grooms wedding, that's a non-issue.

    If that's not the case, then whether it's "politically correct" or not depends on your politics. If you are trying to conform to formal traditional etiquette, then no, it's not -- but then neither are coloured invitations. If you adhere fanatically to the philosophy of total-egalitarianism or bridal-couple as emancipated adults then those politics would drive wording more along the lines of "*Bride* and *Groom* / request the honour of ..." occasionally with the sop of "together with their parents/families" thrown in to mollify the parents.

    If you're not fanatical about any particular politics, and not concerned about traditional etiquette, and your friends and family know your situation (which is to be expected because they're, you know, your friends and family) and this is the wording that accurately expresses your situation? Then, yes, do it. Because the highest standard of traditional etiquette is "form follows function". So do whatever is functional.
    Report Reply
  • ajones108ajones108
    First Comment First Anniversary
    All of your posts help SO much! SO, let me clear up a few things asked.

    1. We are a bride and groom, so I just had it backwards on the invite. I'm fixing that now, haha.
    2. No one in either family is contributing to the wedding, so it makes sense to have no one side hosting it. o.O Forgive me, I'm still learning formality and such.
    3. Out of 125+ guests only 6 of them are my own family members... long story, meant for another topic.

    I'm switching up the invitation now, I'll post a new one to get your final opinions. :)
    Report Reply
  • ajones108ajones108
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2012
    Okay, here is the new one. Thoughts? :)


    it now reads:

    Ashley Renee
    and
    William Henry

    Request the honor of your presence 
    at their marriage ceremony

    location
    state
    date  

    :)
    Report Reply
  • ajones108ajones108
    First Comment First Anniversary
    Of course. Thanks ladies! :)
    Report Reply
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    If you are issuing the invitations directly from yourselves, you should put your last names on the invites as well.  I see you've edited for internet safety, so I don't know if you had that at first.

    Also, honor of your presence, is for a church ceremony.  If you are having a church ceremony, I would go with the line "Request the honor of your presence as they are united in marriage."  Or if its a Catholic ceremony "united in Holy Matrimony"
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards