So my FI's grandmother passed away this week on Tuesday. Memorial services are tomorrow from 5-8 pm and funeral is on Saturday at 10:30, but there is also the casket closing prior to the funeral that we'll be attending, plus burial after.
Now, my FI loved his grandmother and I know she had a hand in raising him. Unfortunately, by the time I came in the picture she was going senile and was pretty much bedridden which got progressively worse while I've been dating my FI (almost 4 years). My FI seems to think that our 22 month old daughter should be able to stay throughout all of these things going on for the whole time....Now, realistically I do not see that happening...memorial services happen to be around her bedtime, plus afterwards they plan to go to one of the relative's bars. Saturday we will be at the memorial home at 9:00 am (my FI is also a pallbearer) and we will conclude everything by going to his Aunt's house for a late lunch around 1 or 1:30 pm...the problem we also run into is that its about a 45 minute drive from our place so I can't exactly take my daughter home and my FI wouldn't want me to.
First, I cannot see our daughter behaving well for that long....I plan to bring crayons, color paper, snacks, drinks, and such...but eventually she will need to run around or take a nap. His family is VERY dramatic at such events and I don't know if he just expects us to be there to participate in that or what. I want to be there to support him, but I also know he'll be more involved with talking with his relatives which means I'll be sitting with our daughter by myself....I can't say that I am sad for grandma's passing as she was in alot of pain, but his whole family seems shocked that this was "it." I'm sad because he is sad, but I hate dramatic situations. I am not a very dramatic person when it comes to funerals-I will shed a few tears, but that's about it as I tend to believe they are in a better place...
Essentially though, are his expectations regarding our daughter unrealistic or am I overthinking things?
And I'm not trying to sound insenstive regarding his family or how they feel...my family was just raised me very differently. When my grandmother passed away we had a memorial (that I only stayed a little bit for), next day had a funeral, then went out to eat at a restaurant...thats about it.....FI is insisting that we get up at the location at the same time as his mom which would be early, we got a hotel room for the night, we'll probably be at his aunt's till 6 or 7 pm on Saturday...that's can be hard on a 22 month old. I've brought the subject up to him and he just accuses me of not wanting to spend time with his family and that our daughter can just deal or she'll be "just fine."