Snarky Brides

Don't take that money, bullied bus lady

http://gawker.com/5920674/dont-take-that-money-bullied-bus-lady

Gawker article about why Karen Klein shouldn't accept the vacation fund started for her online after video of her being bullied on a school bus went viral.

What do you think of this?  After reading it... I kinda see where the guy is coming from.  But at the same time, ffs, this poor woman didn't ask for any of this.  On GMA this morning I saw that she was going to donate a large portion of the money to - I can't remember if its downs syndrome or autism research, but something like that, because one of her grandkids has it.  For the most part I don't really see TOO much of an issue.  It's a gift, I say.

What say you?
panther
«13

Re: Don't take that money, bullied bus lady

  • I say that she should take  the money and do whatever she wants with it...it is a gift.  

    Someone I'm friends with on facebook was saying shame on those who are angry with the kids who were bullying.  Really?  The kids were old enough to know better!
  • I say I am sad to be from the same area as the kids who bullied this woman.  It is very, very sad that children could be so cruel.  This women did not ask for any of it.

    I say take the money, and do what she wants with it.  Her life will never, ever be the same.
  • She absolutely deserves that money.  People donated it to her for a reason. No one was forced to do so.  I couldn't even get through that entire video because those little assholes had me so pissed off so I can not imagine what that was like for her. 
    imageVacation
  • I get the point the article is making, but I don't like the tone of it. It smacks of "blame the victim" in that it implies that the bus lady is capitalizing off of her pain purposefully and trading her experience for cash. Her case is not the same as regular reality television.

    Also, the fact that there are orphans in the world doesn't negate or minimize her experience and the fact that many people want to help her. She shouldn't be shamed for taking the money just because people int he world have it worse. I hate that attitude.
  • I think what happened to her was atrocious, but I dont think it's worth the $600 thousand or so she received. That's an awful lot of money.

    I guess I see people losing their houses, without jobs and having trouble feeding their kids and this ONE person deserves all that money.

    The next time something like this happens and it goes viral will there be a paypal account directly attached to it? Does she deserve something, hell yeah, but not this much.

    Did she ever get an apology from the kids or their parents?
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  • Preach, Nates. 
    panther
  • I agree with Nates.

    One thing in the article I do agree with is that if she accepts the money, she'll essentially be giving up a big piece of her privacy. People will want to know what she did with the money, how it changed her, whatever happened to her. As much I say it's ok for her to get the money because it was a nice gesture from people who felt for her, every single thing she buys will be scrutinized. I don't think I'd want to take on that kind of pressure. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dont-take-that-money-bullied-bus-lady?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:f195a693-5ad7-4bb6-85f5-58ea2b8a3aabPost:0f3ced40-bfcd-43af-8d58-ffabe69f2b08">Re: Don't take that money, bullied bus lady</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think what happened to her was atrocious,<strong> but I dont think it's worth the $600 thousand or so she received. </strong>That's an awful lot of money. I guess I see people losing their houses, without jobs and having trouble feeding their kids<strong> and this ONE person deserves all that money.</strong> The next time something like this happens and it goes viral will there be a paypal account directly attached to it? Does she deserve something, hell yeah, but not this much. Did she ever get an apology from the kids or their parents?
    Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]
    I see what you're saying, but that's not her fault. I feel like too often people get mad at the person who receives the benefit, rather than the person/people who gave it to them in the first place.

    I just don't like the idea that people are judging her for receiving money she didn't even ask for.  People CHOSE to give her the money. If they wanted to donate to starving families, they would have, kwim? Why should she be shamed for taking a gift freely given?
  • I think she should be able to do what she wants with it.  It's not like SHE posted this to youtube or sent it to the media. Others did that for her.  Yeah, it's a LOT of money, and I think it's a bit much.  But in the end, she can do what she wants with it. Major props to her for donating some of it to charity.
  • The hard part for me is this isn't an isolated case. Bus drivers, teachers, retail workers, etc. get sh*t on every day, so why does she deserve the money any more just because she got lucky and it was put on youtube? I'm not saying she deserves it less by any means, but I guess it makes me a little..put off(?) that she received so much instant support while others are still dealing with the situation and not getting support, emotionally or financialy.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dont-take-that-money-bullied-bus-lady?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f195a693-5ad7-4bb6-85f5-58ea2b8a3aabPost:b80c8245-de76-4f7e-b223-53933055d759">Re: Don't take that money, bullied bus lady</a>:
    [QUOTE]kd, according to THIS  article, SOME of the kids/parents have apologized.  If one of them were my kid, you bet your ass they would be posting a damn apology.  All over the place. Idk, it sounds like she could really use the money for her family and I think it's great that she's also going to dontate some of it.  Yes, it's a lot of money but at 68, she's probably not raking in the big bucks.  And if it allows her to retire, then I'm all for it.
    Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]

    Can I ask, does anyone know what a bus monitor is supposed to do?
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dont-take-that-money-bullied-bus-lady?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:f195a693-5ad7-4bb6-85f5-58ea2b8a3aabPost:ccb57e9a-6a2b-4faa-8f1c-e7bc08255a44">Re: Don't take that money, bullied bus lady</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Don't take that money, bullied bus lady : Can I ask, does anyone know what a bus monitor is supposed to do?
    Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]

    <div>Make sure kids are acting appropriately and safely on the bus.</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dont-take-that-money-bullied-bus-lady?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f195a693-5ad7-4bb6-85f5-58ea2b8a3aabPost:01b6dbe6-91a2-45a4-80e8-d54c62e72e4a">Re: Don't take that money, bullied bus lady</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Don't take that money, bullied bus lady : I see what you're saying, but that's not her fault. I feel like too often people get mad at the person who receives the benefit, rather than the person/people who gave it to them in the first place. I just don't like the idea that people are judging her for receiving money she didn't even ask for.  People CHOSE to give her the money. If they wanted to donate to starving families, they would have, kwim? Why should she be shamed for taking a gift freely given?
    Posted by ZombieNates[/QUOTE]

    Nope I understand exactly what you are saying Nates. I guess my question is why her? I dont blame her for anything. I felt awful for her, and couldnt watch the whole thing because I wanted to beat the snot out of those kids. She can do whatever she wants with that money, and if she donates some great.

    I guess my question is always what makes her any different then the teacher/bus driver/ insert profession here that gets bullied and dont receive this outpouring, KWIM?

    Hell I hope she goes to Hawaii, takes a picture of herself sipping a drink and sends it to those little twats.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dont-take-that-money-bullied-bus-lady?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f195a693-5ad7-4bb6-85f5-58ea2b8a3aabPost:249e43af-2b92-48a7-a386-ecaae7bc1e8a">Re: Don't take that money, bullied bus lady</a>:
    [QUOTE]Also, the article says the money is going to make her 'rich.'  I disagree with that.  Is that a lot of money, yes.  But it's a one time thing and at 68, it's not like she has a ton of time to invest it to grow it.  Not to mention, we have no idea what kind of debt she may or may not have. Good question, kd.  I would think she was there so the kids didn't beat the crap out of each other but given that she didn't stick up for herself, not sure how effective she'd be at that.
    Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]

    See thats what I recalled hearing (never rode a bus), so why was she there if she couldnt even protect herself? She should have been writing down names and putting them on notice.
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  • I think that her accepting and donating some of it is perfectly fine.

    Like I stated on a thread about this a few days ago, personally, I'd feel uncomfortable accepting the money, but I'd so so, take some of it for a vacation (if I'm not mistaken the drive was to raise about 5k to send her on a trip) and donate the rest. But that's me...I think it's fine for her to do as she chooses with something that was freely given to her. Kudos to her for wanting to donate to causes close to her heart and to her family.
  • I hear you, KD. And, TBH, it makes me more mad about the whole situation (not her part).  I know quite a few people who've been treated with an "they're just kids, it's your fault for not managing them" attitude over kids throwing things at them, telling them "Fvck off," etc.  In this line of work, you always need to cover your back because administrators don't want to deal with parents. Since when are kids always innocent?

    TBH, I doubt the bus monitor's job is to break up fights or anything.  Legally (at least here), we're advised to NEVER touch kids, no matter what is happening. That's under the umbrella of administration.  She'd probably be on the bus to make sure the kids were sitting down and not doing drugs so the bus driver could focus on the road and then taking down the names of wrongdoers.
  • I don't think she should keep it. What happened to her was awful, but she doesn't deserve hundreds of thousands of dollars for it. It actually shocks me that she is even considering keeping it.
  • The people who donated to that fund gave the money under the pretense it was solely going to one particular woman and she could do whatever she wanted with it (ie. go on vacation, take an early retirement, etc...).  She has every right to keep every dime in her pocket, or give to charity, or whatever else she wants to do with it. If someone's going to pull the plug on that then I think the donors should have the right to get their money back. 

    Another point in the article mentioned that the money should go to counselling for those shiitehead kids and I wholeheartedly disagree. Their parents should be responsible for that kind of thing, not their victim.
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  • pixiedust84pixiedust84 member
    1000 Comments
    edited June 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dont-take-that-money-bullied-bus-lady?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:f195a693-5ad7-4bb6-85f5-58ea2b8a3aabPost:c82bb39c-55d7-4ea6-bb55-97cf59002d08">Re: Don't take that money, bullied bus lady</a>:
    [QUOTE]The hard part for me is this isn't an isolated case. Bus drivers, teachers, retail workers, etc. get sh*t on every day, so why does she deserve the money any more just because she got lucky and it was put on youtube? I'm not saying she deserves it less by any means, but I guess it makes me a little..put off(?) that she received so much instant support while others are still dealing with the situation and not getting support, emotionally or financialy.
    Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

    That's the part I struggle with too - I think there's going to be a lot of videos (real or fake) now posted on YouTube to see who else can cash in.

    That said - I do agree that it's a gift that she didn't ask for and I wouldn't judge her for taking it. If I were her I'd maybe take a chunk of it to donate like she said or put towards some anti-bullying something or other. I just worry about the resentment towards her by others who have been bullied and didn't get to make money off it. If it were me I'd feel very guilty.

    ETA: If she didn't take it what would happen? Does every single person who donated get a refund?
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dont-take-that-money-bullied-bus-lady?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:f195a693-5ad7-4bb6-85f5-58ea2b8a3aabPost:42c0f1d9-3177-4639-869f-489f54988e4e">Re: Don't take that money, bullied bus lady</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Don't take that money, bullied bus lady : See thats what I recalled hearing (never rode a bus), so why was she there if she couldnt even protect herself? She should have been writing down names and putting them on notice.
    Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]

    This is a very good point. She seems like a lovely lady but she clearly wasn't very good at her job.
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  • I remember in an interview, when Karen was asked why she didn't put a stop to the bullying, she said it was because she would have probably lost her job is she had. 
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  • I think plenty of people come into large sums of money - whether they win it in the lottery or are gifted it somehow or through a settlement or someshit - that don't necessarily deserve it.  I just think it's weird to come down on this one woman for it, for some reason.  She didn't ask for any of it - the money, or the bullying.
    panther
  • edited June 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dont-take-that-money-bullied-bus-lady?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f195a693-5ad7-4bb6-85f5-58ea2b8a3aabPost:901ba012-b61c-497f-b6ce-d0726dd62ec2">Re: Don't take that money, bullied bus lady</a>:
    [QUOTE]I hear you, KD. And, TBH, it makes me more mad about the whole situation (not her part).  I know quite a few people who've been treated with an "they're just kids, it's your fault for not managing them" attitude over kids throwing things at them, telling them "Fvck off," etc.  In this line of work, you always need to cover your back because administrators don't want to deal with parents. Since when are kids always innocent? TBH, I doubt the bus monitor's job is to break up fights or anything.  <strong>Legally (at least here), we're advised to NEVER touch kids, no matter what is happening. That's under the umbrella of administration.</strong>  She'd probably be on the bus to make sure the kids were sitting down and not doing drugs so the bus driver could focus on the road and <strong>then taking down the names of wrongdoers.</strong>
    Posted by ZombieNates[/QUOTE]

    But what if kids treated you this way? Wouldn't you be able to discipline them? I just wonder what kind of power she has with discipline. I'm not saying she should have punched them in their jaw (well she should have, but that is besides the point) but from what I saw she just sat there and took it, and never even told them to stop? I didn't watch the entire video so I could be wrong, but I am just wondering if she is not allowed to discipline them or just didn't. Did she end up reporting them to the school? Were they suspended?
  • I think she should be able to whatever the fvck she wants with the money.

    I also thought it was weird that she allowed them to do that and she didn't get anyone else (like the bus driver) involved, but I probably am not understanding this issue very well. 

  • So taking the $ amount out of the equation, what is the cut off of accepting a nice gesture? If someone baked her a basket of muffins because they felt bad for her situation, is that ok? If a handful of her neighbors pitched in and got her a massage so she could relax, would that be acceptable?

    If I wanted to make a donation cash/gift/food etc to a person in my community that had gone through a traumatic experience, I'd be pissed if people tried to shame them for accepting my gift under the claim that "well other people have shitty lives, too."
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  • edited June 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dont-take-that-money-bullied-bus-lady?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:f195a693-5ad7-4bb6-85f5-58ea2b8a3aabPost:82de6b4a-5a78-4351-ab5b-91033b8b1987">Re: Don't take that money, bullied bus lady</a>:
    [QUOTE]I remember in an interview, when Karen was asked why she didn't put a stop to the bullying, she said it was because she would have probably lost her job is she had. 
    Posted by ElleB87[/QUOTE]


    To me, that is fucked.  If it were me in that job I'd like to think I'd be restoring some order pretty damn fast.  You do NOT sass me, you bitchass child.  I am your elder.  And if I get fired, whatever.  I'll go get a job greeting people at fucking Wal-Mart or something.
    panther
  • Did anybody else have bus monitors? Is this some new thing? I went to school near where this happened and we never had a bus monitor.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dont-take-that-money-bullied-bus-lady?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f195a693-5ad7-4bb6-85f5-58ea2b8a3aabPost:f94897bb-2f95-4258-8b58-192877f81824">Re: Don't take that money, bullied bus lady</a>:
    [QUOTE]So taking the $ amount out of the equation, what is the cut off of accepting a nice gesture? If someone baked her a basket of muffins because they felt bad for her situation, is that ok? If a handful of her neighbors pitched in and got her a massage so she could relax, would that be acceptable?<strong> If I wanted to make a donation cash/gift/food etc to a person in my community that had gone through a traumatic experience, I'd be pissed if people tried to shame them for accepting my gift under the claim that "well other people have shitty lives, too."</strong>
    Posted by dmiller9274[/QUOTE]

    I totally agree with the bolded part and I think the non-bolded part raises a good question: when is a gift "too much"?
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  • NebbNebb member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited June 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_dont-take-that-money-bullied-bus-lady?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:f195a693-5ad7-4bb6-85f5-58ea2b8a3aabPost:be1f7fa6-59c8-4776-9cf5-bca69bf5e2da">Re:Don't take that money, bullied bus lady</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't think she should keep it. What happened to her was awful, but she doesn't deserve hundreds of thousands of dollars for it. It actually shocks me that she is even considering keeping it.
    Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]
    Whether she "deserves" the money or not is irrelevant. The people who donated the money donated it TO HER. They felt she deserves it and since its their money, thats all that really matters. Its not like she is cashing in on a fund for people who are bullied in general.
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