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Demoting Bridesmaids

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Re: Demoting Bridesmaids

  • GhotiGhoti
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_demoting-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1860561-3f14-49a4-9fe4-0f3a02f79867Post:81864124-f786-43b5-8443-d72b0d68ccb1">Re: Demoting Bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Demoting Bridesmaids : Am I real?  Hmm, good question.  Shall we get existential? I only troll  the most deserving.  And these gals deserved it.  If they can dish it out, I assume they can take it.
    Posted by ThaWeddingSinger[/QUOTE]

    If you feel so up to dishing it, why do it under an AE?
    Report Reply
  • RMacQueenRMacQueen member
    100 Comments
    Do you have nothing better to do? FYI "miserableness" is not a word, I think you're looking for "misery". 
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  • GhotiGhoti
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_demoting-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1860561-3f14-49a4-9fe4-0f3a02f79867Post:34f9a087-eb38-459f-886f-2e372314781a">Re: Demoting Bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Demoting Bridesmaids : ...says the girl whose one contribution to this request for advice was "Snow White and the 7 bridesmaids."  OMG, you are SOOOO clever!!!  You should write for Letterman!
    Posted by ThaWeddingSinger[/QUOTE]


    dun dun dignifying.
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  • ThaWeddingSingerThaWeddingSinger
    10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_demoting-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1860561-3f14-49a4-9fe4-0f3a02f79867Post:8e7f52fb-e501-47a5-9446-91891fadd8aa">Re: Demoting Bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Demoting Bridesmaids : And having groomswomen on the Groom's side is not original?  If he wants his sisters to stand up for him, then they should stand up for HIM. I hope you aren't a troll.  I'd like you to expand on your thoughts.
    Posted by smokeybailey[/QUOTE]

    <div>I admit, it's a good suggestion, but I'm just amazed at how many people didn't even bother to read the thread before giving in there two cents.  This is where your post ran afoul for me: you don't have to insinuate that just because OP wants her friends to help her with her wedding that she's a bad friend.</div>
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  • ThaWeddingSingerThaWeddingSinger
    10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_demoting-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1860561-3f14-49a4-9fe4-0f3a02f79867Post:682dd085-93ec-4997-ac4f-3ad42aacc154">Re: Demoting Bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Demoting Bridesmaids : If you feel so up to dishing it, why do it under an AE?
    Posted by Ghoti[/QUOTE]

    <div>This is my only ego, in terms of theknot.com.  I was looking for an answer to this very question, found this thread, and saw how ridiculous it was, particularly since very few people were offering any real advice.  I had to offer something like what OP was actually looking for, and couldn't help but get my hands dirty in the process.  If that makes me a troll, well, I'm a troll.</div>
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  • ThaWeddingSingerThaWeddingSinger
    10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_demoting-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1860561-3f14-49a4-9fe4-0f3a02f79867Post:06c11f4a-ae21-4ab0-9456-2557cbc40ab5">Re: Demoting Bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm waiting to hear how I am miserable because I think it's shitty that OP wanted certain bridesmaids because they can help her DIY. 
    Posted by smokeybailey[/QUOTE]

    <div>Umm, did you even read the post?  She goes on and on about how important these people are to her.  The whole DIY thing is just a minor detail.  Of course, if you failed high school reading comprehension, I can forgive you.</div>
    Report Reply
  • smokeybaileysmokeybailey member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_demoting-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1860561-3f14-49a4-9fe4-0f3a02f79867Post:d74857bb-b117-44f1-8529-3d8dbab50010">Re: Demoting Bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Demoting Bridesmaids : I admit, it's a good suggestion, but I'm just amazed at how many people didn't even bother to read the thread before giving in there two cents.  This is where your post ran afoul for me: you don't have to insinuate that just because OP wants her friends to help her with her wedding that she's a bad friend.
    Posted by ThaWeddingSinger[/QUOTE]

    Did you read the OP?  She said, "I'm an art student, and so are my bff's, so I really want their expertise for my />$10k-DIY bride wedding."  Meaning that she is making them BM's to get their expertise.  The assumption being that if they were NOT BM's they wouldn't help her.  I think that is a shitty assumption. 
    A. If you want my help, ask me.  Don't give me a position of honor so I "have" to help.
    or
    B.  Don't assume that because I am your BM that I will help you DIY anything.

    If that makes me a witch, then so be it.  However, you should have no lack of concern about the friends in my life.  I am incredibly blessed but methinks that perhaps you might be running a little dry in that arena yourself.
    Bi-oh-rama
    Now with more wedded bliss.

    I don't get married often, but when I do, I do it in Las Vegas.

    image

    "Lvharpy could be your AE." - direy25
    "smokeybailey is the one shining beacon of light in this steaming turd of a thread." - daffodil_jill
    "The almighty smokeybailey has spoken." - some bitch on the Las Vegas board

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  • ThaWeddingSingerThaWeddingSinger
    10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_demoting-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1860561-3f14-49a4-9fe4-0f3a02f79867Post:19ae1a86-6111-45bc-ad6b-b4a2b6bfea19">Re: Demoting Bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]Do you have nothing better to do? FYI "miserableness" is not a word, I think you're looking for "misery". 
    Posted by RMacQueen[/QUOTE]

    <div>Maybe you should have been my english teacher.  Your punctuation is impeccable!  Comma placement, periods outside the quotes... I'm speechless.  And yes, I have nothing better to do.  Thanks for doing it with me :)</div>
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  • GhotiGhoti
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_demoting-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1860561-3f14-49a4-9fe4-0f3a02f79867Post:23c6b668-9692-44d4-8d13-3e9115f5e8ef">Re: Demoting Bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Demoting Bridesmaids : This is my only ego, in terms of theknot.com.  I was looking for an answer to this very question, found this thread, and saw how ridiculous it was, particularly since very few people were offering any real advice.  I had to offer something like what OP was actually looking for, and couldn't help but get my hands dirty in the process.  If that makes me a troll, well, I'm a troll.
    Posted by ThaWeddingSinger[/QUOTE]

    Clearly you have a reading fail, since everyone contributed good advice.
    1. Have grooms sisters stand on his side
    2. Change your screen name so real creeps can't find info about you
    3. Don't treat your Bridesmaids like Maids.

    I posted my "helpful" advice in the 3rd or 4th post. The Snow White comment came after that. Lighten up.
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  • RMacQueenRMacQueen member
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_demoting-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1860561-3f14-49a4-9fe4-0f3a02f79867Post:23c6b668-9692-44d4-8d13-3e9115f5e8ef">Re: Demoting Bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Demoting Bridesmaids : This is my only ego, in terms of theknot.com.  I was looking for an answer to this very question, found this thread, and saw how ridiculous it was, particularly since very few people were offering any real advice.  I had to offer something like what OP was actually looking for, and couldn't help but get my hands dirty in the process.  If that makes me a troll, well, I'm a troll.
    Posted by ThaWeddingSinger[/QUOTE]

    <div>OP got the correct answer from these girls. Men choose GM girls choose BM. Her FI can ask to include sisters but she doesn't have to oblige. Go back to whatever boards you came from because you are not wanted here.</div>
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  • smokeybaileysmokeybailey member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited November 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_demoting-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1860561-3f14-49a4-9fe4-0f3a02f79867Post:5d62c244-4b7c-41f1-8d63-34803ed2f984">Re: Demoting Bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Demoting Bridesmaids : Umm, did you even read the post?  She goes on and on about how important these people are to her.  The whole DIY thing is just a minor detail.  Of course, if you failed high school reading comprehension, I can forgive you.
    Posted by ThaWeddingSinger[/QUOTE]

    Biitch, please.  If it was about how important they were, the DIY wouldn't come up.  She would have said, I have 2 BFF's that I LOVE, 2 sisters that I LOVE and now my fiance wants me to add his 3 sisters.  What's a girl to do?

    But that is NOT what she said, and that was not her implication.
    Bi-oh-rama
    Now with more wedded bliss.

    I don't get married often, but when I do, I do it in Las Vegas.

    image

    "Lvharpy could be your AE." - direy25
    "smokeybailey is the one shining beacon of light in this steaming turd of a thread." - daffodil_jill
    "The almighty smokeybailey has spoken." - some bitch on the Las Vegas board

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  • ThaWeddingSingerThaWeddingSinger
    10 Comments
    In Response to <a style="text-decoration:none;font-weight:normal;color:#1f1f1f;" href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_demoting-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1860561-3f14-49a4-9fe4-0f3a02f79867Post:605fc528-fac5-4596-83b6-54b8bc1f7f15">Re: Demoting Bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Demoting Bridesmaids : Did you read the OP?  She said, "I'm an art student, and so are my bff's, so I really want their expertise for my />$10k-DIY bride wedding."  Meaning that she is making them BM's to get their expertise.  The assumption being that if they were NOT BM's they wouldn't help her.  I think that is a shitty assumption.  A. If you want my help, ask me.  Don't give me a position of honor so I "have" to help. or B.  Don't assume that because I am your BM that I will help you DIY anything. If that makes me a witch, then so be it.  However, you should have no lack of concern about the friends in my life.  I am incredibly blessed but methinks that perhaps you might be running a little dry in that arena yourself.
    Posted by smokeybailey[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Well, we can bicker back and forth about who has more friends and whatnot, but that's not really going to get us anywhere since we have no way to substantiate either of our claims of friendship.</div><div>
    </div><div>And note that in your quote of the OP that she only mentions them as BFF's.  Forgive me if I made the mistake of assuming that BFF become BM's, and not the other way around.  I'm sure they'll help her either way.</div>
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  • RMacQueenRMacQueen member
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_demoting-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1860561-3f14-49a4-9fe4-0f3a02f79867Post:d6eade0e-0b97-4836-a8ea-417d89abd16d">Re: Demoting Bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Demoting Bridesmaids : Maybe you should have been my english teacher.  Your punctuation is impeccable!  Comma placement, periods outside the quotes... I'm speechless.  And yes, I have nothing better to do.  Thanks for doing it with me :)
    Posted by ThaWeddingSinger[/QUOTE]

    <div>I was a Linguistics major in college so I really couldn't give a sh!t about your punctuation. It is your word structure that offends me. Actually, you just offend me in general. </div>
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  • ThaWeddingSingerThaWeddingSinger
    10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_demoting-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1860561-3f14-49a4-9fe4-0f3a02f79867Post:bfd216e9-c2b3-4a21-9929-ad2bad52b191">Re: Demoting Bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Demoting Bridesmaids : Clearly you have a reading fail, since everyone contributed good advice. 1. Have grooms sisters stand on his side 2. Change your screen name so real creeps can't find info about you 3. Don't treat your Bridesmaids like Maids. I posted my "helpful" advice in the 3rd or 4th post. The Snow White comment came after that. Lighten up.
    Posted by Ghoti[/QUOTE]

    <div>Fair enough.  I'm sorry.  Still, the Snow White thing was a cheap shot, though.</div>
    Report Reply
  • smokeybaileysmokeybailey member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_demoting-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1860561-3f14-49a4-9fe4-0f3a02f79867Post:64a64b0b-b2ff-4f51-9263-a65adf3a7090">Re: Demoting Bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to  Re: Demoting Bridesmaids : Well, we can bicker back and forth about who has more friends and whatnot, but that's not really going to get us anywhere since we have no way to substantiate either of our claims of friendship. And note that in your quote of the OP that she only mentions them as BFF's.  Forgive me if I made the mistake of assuming that BFF become BM's, and not the other way around. <strong> I'm sure they'll help her either way.</strong>
    Posted by ThaWeddingSinger[/QUOTE]

    Then why even bring up the fact that you need them to help DIY your under $10K wedding (another irrelevant fact)?  Oh, I know, so that no one makes the suggestion that you drop your friends in favor of family and future family.  We can't have you DIY'ing by yourself.

    Anyway, I stand by my original statement:  giving me a position of honor so I can help you is a shitty move.

    Good night and good luck.
    Bi-oh-rama
    Now with more wedded bliss.

    I don't get married often, but when I do, I do it in Las Vegas.

    image

    "Lvharpy could be your AE." - direy25
    "smokeybailey is the one shining beacon of light in this steaming turd of a thread." - daffodil_jill
    "The almighty smokeybailey has spoken." - some bitch on the Las Vegas board

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  • ThaWeddingSingerThaWeddingSinger
    10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_demoting-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1860561-3f14-49a4-9fe4-0f3a02f79867Post:23ff3f61-7254-4864-99da-289c4881cf76">Re: Demoting Bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Demoting Bridesmaids : I was a Linguistics major in college so I really couldn't give a sh!t about your punctuation. It is your word structure that offends me. Actually, you just offend me in general. 
    Posted by RMacQueen[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yes, that is the point of a flaming post, isn't it?  I do my job so well.  BTW, what are you doing with that degree in Linguistics?  Curing AIDS or something?  I can go to the mall if I want to study the way people speak.</div>
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  • GhotiGhoti
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_demoting-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1860561-3f14-49a4-9fe4-0f3a02f79867Post:64a64b0b-b2ff-4f51-9263-a65adf3a7090">Re: Demoting Bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to  Re: Demoting Bridesmaids : Well, we can bicker back and forth about who has more friends and whatnot, but that's not really going to get us anywhere since we have no way to substantiate either of our claims of friendship. And note that in your quote of the OP that she only mentions them as BFF's.  Forgive me if I made the mistake of assuming that BFF become BM's, and not the other way around.  I'm sure they'll help her either way.
    Posted by ThaWeddingSinger[/QUOTE]
    Ok lets see if we can spell this out so you understand it.
    The following was deemed pertinent information:
    BFF's are Art Students
    Bride wants DIY wedding
    BFF = Bridesmaids = DIY Wedding.

    There is absolutely no point of adding the information that they are in art school and she wants a DIY wedding except to insinuate that she is using the talents of her "bff's" to her advantage, and if they are not her BM's they might not help her.

    Which is WRONG.
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  • ThaWeddingSingerThaWeddingSinger
    10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_demoting-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1860561-3f14-49a4-9fe4-0f3a02f79867Post:a9fb8ded-15ae-41a3-a1b6-ef87049ec794">Re: Demoting Bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Demoting Bridesmaids : Then why even bring up the fact that you need them to help DIY your under $10K wedding (another irrelevant fact)?  Oh, I know, so that no one makes the suggestion that you drop your friends in favor of family and future family.  We can't have you DIY'ing by yourself. Anyway, I stand by my original statement:  giving me a position of honor so I can help you is a shitty move. Good night and good luck.
    Posted by smokeybailey[/QUOTE]

    <div>Goodnight, smokey.  Thanks for the laughs.</div>
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_demoting-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1860561-3f14-49a4-9fe4-0f3a02f79867Post:90b88277-9781-4710-ad4a-1045c4cf20b2">Re: Demoting Bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]All of these trolls are probably just upset that they couldn't think of 7 people who would actually say yes. To everyone else who posted (particularly LC and DNB, and anyone else who contributed to their "helpful" advice), get a life.  A few original ideas wouldn't hurt, either, if you're going to actually take the time to post.
    Posted by ThaWeddingSinger[/QUOTE]

    We did give several pieces of helpful advice.  Make them GM, have 7 if you want, or don't have them at all.  Also we told her to change her screen name.  And LC taking less than 2 minutes to google a name hardly qualifies as "needing a life.:"  She could potentially have just saved this poster from the humilitation of getting her wedding cancelled by a pyscho stalking lurker.  Its happened before.

    And since you've asked, I have plenty of friends.  Great friends for that matter.  And they're such good friends I would NEVER consider demoting them for the sake of numbers, or finding meaningless, dreaded "jobs" for them to do at my wedding.  Because I actually appreciate them for who they are and as my friends, not as slave labor. 

    And admit it or not, I'm screaming Troll on this one.  Nobody comes out of the woodwork or out of lurking with this much anger and hatred at regs.  So grow a pair and fess up to who you are.
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  • ThaWeddingSingerThaWeddingSinger
    10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_demoting-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1860561-3f14-49a4-9fe4-0f3a02f79867Post:83712971-83e9-4b4d-bed4-752d01bcec7d">Re: Demoting Bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Demoting Bridesmaids : Ok lets see if we can spell this out so you understand it. The following was deemed pertinent information: BFF's are Art Students Bride wants DIY wedding BFF = Bridesmaids = DIY Wedding. There is absolutely no point of adding the information that they are in art school and she wants a DIY wedding except to insinuate that she is using the talents of her "bff's" to her advantage, and if they are not her BM's they might not help her. Which is WRONG.
    Posted by Ghoti[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Yes, it is so wrong for BFF's to help their friends with a DIY wedding.  I mean, for real, a senior in art school has SOO much money, am I right?  Why not just buy the wedding she wants?  I mean, it's just SOOO WRONG to ask your BFF's to help you make the best day of your life special.

    </div>
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  • RMacQueenRMacQueen member
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_demoting-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1860561-3f14-49a4-9fe4-0f3a02f79867Post:d5729c55-7658-44b1-b859-8f7662d26fc6">Re: Demoting Bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Demoting Bridesmaids : Yes, that is the point of a flaming post, isn't it?  I do my job so well.  BTW, what are you doing with that degree in Linguistics?  Curing AIDS or something?  I can go to the mall if I want to study the way people speak.
    Posted by ThaWeddingSinger[/QUOTE]

    <div>Actually, I'm working at a law firm. FI and I are currently studying for the foreign service exam. Maybe once we are FSOs I could work on that AIDS thing. I feel like I'm doing pretty good for the meantime though. Thanks for asking :) How are you? </div>
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  • ThaWeddingSingerThaWeddingSinger
    10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_demoting-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1860561-3f14-49a4-9fe4-0f3a02f79867Post:b0138674-c1d8-4ca9-bf8c-0187d3aeae67">Re: Demoting Bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Demoting Bridesmaids : We did give several pieces of helpful advice.  Make them GM, have 7 if you want, or don't have them at all.  Also we told her to change her screen name.  And LC taking less than 2 minutes to google a name hardly qualifies as "needing a life.:"  She could potentially have just saved this poster from the humilitation of getting her wedding cancelled by a pyscho stalking lurker.  Its happened before. And since you've asked, I have plenty of friends.  Great friends for that matter.  And they're such good friends I would NEVER consider demoting them for the sake of numbers, or finding meaningless, dreaded "jobs" for them to do at my wedding.  Because I actually appreciate them for who they are and as my friends, not as slave labor.  And admit it or not, I'm screaming Troll on this one.  Nobody comes out of the woodwork or out of lurking with this much anger and hatred at regs.  <strong>So grow a pair and fess up to who you are.</strong>
    Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Yes, good idea.  That way, some crazy psycho stalker can come cancel my wedding.  BTW, clearly she's concerned about finances here.  After taking 2 minutes to google your sn (losing my life in the process, who knew?), I can see you seem to have had ample funds for your wedding.  So I guess you have no idea what it's like to have to try to make magic with DIY techniques.  Do you really think she WANTS to demote her BFFs from BMs?  In terms of growing a pair, you first.  I wonder what your hubby would think of that?

    </div>
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  • ThaWeddingSingerThaWeddingSinger
    10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_demoting-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1860561-3f14-49a4-9fe4-0f3a02f79867Post:1e063c83-e747-48f6-ae64-54c0296de38b">Re: Demoting Bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Demoting Bridesmaids : Actually, I'm working at a law firm. FI and I are currently studying for the foreign service exam. Maybe once we are FSOs I could work on that AIDS thing. I feel like I'm doing pretty good for the meantime though. Thanks for asking :) How are you? 
    Posted by RMacQueen[/QUOTE]
     <div>A law firm?  Which one?  I'm a 1L.  Think you can get me a summer job?</div>
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker

    Okay TWS, you're not a troll, its just a mere coincidence that you names are the same as Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore in the movie.  Did your Robbie save you from an douchetastic ex-fi who was going to make your new name Julia Gulia as welll?

    I repeat, grow a pair and tell us how you really feel about us under your real SN.  I'm going to guess you might be the OP, who created a new SN thanks to our suggestions BTW, and has come back with the new name bitter about us not validating your ideas. 

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  • RMacQueenRMacQueen member
    100 Comments
    Smart sleuthing Beach. I agree with you that it's probably OP. 

    OP and TWS: you cannot make your bridesmaid do anything other than show up. If you expect them to help you might be sitting with a pile of unfinished DIYs the night before the wedding crying. If they want to help they will. 
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  • ThaWeddingSingerThaWeddingSinger
    10 Comments
    I never denied I was a troll.  In fact, I admitted it many posts ago.  Again, read the thread before you post.  Come on, do you really think I would believe that "ThaWeddingSinger" would be a solid AE (again, this is my only SN on theknot.  Crazy, I know, but there is a whole world existing outside this website!)

    It's pretty clear from my posts that I'm not the OP.  Check the IP if you don't believe me.  If you haven't figured out who I am, well, you'd make a pretty terrible Sherlock Holmes.

    Thanks for all the entertainment, everybody.  In the future, please be kinder to your OP.  Remember, he's makin' a list...
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker

    Grow up and stick to whatever site you're used to.  The difference between you and us is that we don't hide between a fake SN to say what we want.  And just an FYI, I'm assuming you are referring to the "hawaii weddings" that popped up when you googled my name.  Yeah I didn't have a wedding in Hawaii, so try again. 

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  • GhotiGhoti
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited November 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_demoting-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1860561-3f14-49a4-9fe4-0f3a02f79867Post:6fe49c92-312e-4974-ab15-e7e80ab95d8d">Re: Demoting Bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Demoting Bridesmaids : Yes, it is so wrong for BFF's to help their friends with a DIY wedding.  I mean, for real, a senior in art school has SOO much money, am I right?  Why not just buy the wedding she wants?  I mean, it's just SOOO WRONG to ask your BFF's to help you make the best day of your life special.
    Posted by ThaWeddingSinger[/QUOTE]

    What??Are you on drugs?
    Edit, sorry, that's a little harsh, I just honestly have no idea what you're ranting about...
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  • DramaGeekDramaGeek member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    I'm trying to figure out how TWS can both be a troll who is actually someone else  ('If you haven't figured out who I am...") and only have one SN on theknot.  Bizarre.

    Anyway, OP - if you've already asked your 2 friends and your sisters, you can't demote anyone without seriously damaging, probably destroying, your relationship with them.  If you haven't asked anyway and you're against have 7 bmaids, then find alternative honor jobs for the "extras."  Or have your Fi ask his sisters to stand up on his side.  Just remember, these women will be related to you.  If they expect to be asked, or if Fi has implied they'll be in the wedding, it's best to include them.  It's not worth the lifetime of grief you'll get otherwise.

    Oh, and as far as BMs being involved, you can absolutely ask for their help but they can absolutely say no.  And just because you count them as a BFF doesn't mean they'll help.  Hell, I'd planned to ask my roomate, one of my best friends, to stand up for me in our wedding.  Before I could even get around to asking she told me she didn't agree with our wedding and thought we were far too young to get married.  Mmkay then, I had no clue she felt that way.  So just be prepared.
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_demoting-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:e1860561-3f14-49a4-9fe4-0f3a02f79867Post:69f48f65-35c7-41e0-bbea-fec7a6be8641">Re: Demoting Bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm trying to figure out how TWS can both be a troll who is actually someone else  ('If you haven't figured out who I am...") and only have one SN on theknot.  Bizarre.Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]

    Yeah I was thinking the same thing.  I'm thinking maybe its someone who GBCK'ed, so while she used to be someone else, she deleted that account, which would make this the only current SN.  The only one I recently remember GBCK-ing is Lizarelli,  and maybe she just stopped posting, I could be wrong though.  So I guess thats my only guess. 
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