Catholic Church Requirements?

lm3mille · May 2010

Here's another new question:

My FI and I are both Catholic. However, not currently practicing. We do want to get married in a Catholic Church. We're going to St. Anne's in Warren this weekend to check it out. But I've heard that they can be quite strict. I know we need to join a church and start going... But I guess I'm just looking for advice and suggestions. We don't have our hearts set on any particular church yet.

Any one else in or was in a similar situation?

LindsayTiz · May 2010

We are having a Catholic wedding. We are getting married at FI's family's church since my parents are not practicing. We did have to become parishoners and attend Church on a more regular basis. As for the pre-marital stuff, we had to have one short initial meeting with our priest then we have to attend a pre marriage seminar. They offer them a couple times a year in Plymouth and Milford. Has anyone attended one of these? I wondered what you actually do at one?

I have another question regarding Catholic weddings. How much of a donation should we make to the Church?

lm3mille · May 2010

We're prepared to become members. I just want to set the date... selfish - maybe? Do you think I can register us, and go to church for a few weeks - then try to book a date? Or do they want you active for 6 mos, before you can even talk about setting a date? Good question on the donation too - I'm curious to see what people suggest.

boogerbearoriginal · May 2010

We got married at my church since I was (and am) an active member there. Most churchs will require you to be members, typically they like you to be active in the church for some time but the requirements vary so its best to ask ones that you are interested in.

IMO you should visit the church a few times for mass and see how you like the Priest/the parish that way you're not just joining for the venue, but to have a relationship with the church family.

Our seminar was with ~100 other couples so it wasn't very personal but there was some good information. They covered the church's views on marriage, family planning, etc. Plus had us discuss things like finances, etc. Most of the topics were things we had discussed but it was still interesting. They also had a panel of couples from older to newly married that talked about their marriages which was pretty cool.

For donations it really varies - some churches have a required amount others its totally your discretion. We did ~10% of the total wedding cost.

JulesMarie25 · May 2010

We are getting married in my church. My FI had to become a member there and they expect you to pretty much come every week to mass and give a donation. They count your attendance based on the envelopes that they recieve every week We give $10/week. Then there are alot of other fees associated with it. It is $200 just for the wedding there, and then you have to pay the music people and that was another $150 for us.

As for other requirements, we had to meet with the priest before they could set our date. Then we had to go to a premarriage class, there are a ton of catholic ones. Our schedule didn't permit us to attend the 4 or 5 once a week ones or a weekend retreat, so we did one that was with about 100 other couples that was for about 6 or 7 hours on a Sunday. We also had to take a marriage survey, then when the results come in, you have to review them with someone from the church to discuss them.

I know some churches give you a married couple mentor that you have to meet with too, but ours doesn't. Hope this helps!

Sue-n-Kevin · May 2010

Here is St Anne's newsletter from last week:

http://www.stannewarren.org/bulletins/downloads/05-16-2010.pdf

For some reason I thought they had their wedding rules online, but they don't.

I am Catholic, but not presently attending a church. I have gone to one near here often, but not often enough, and frankly it's not that big a deal to us to get married in MY church, and my fiance has his own church. So we are compromising and using the chapel at Greenmead in Livonia.

cmkuno · May 2010

We're doing a Catholic mass for our ceremony. I'm a practicing Catholic, and a registered, active member of a church up where I live, but we wanted to get married in the Detroit area. FI is baptized and confirmed in the Catholic church, but isn't registered anywhere. We had a REALLY difficult time finding a church that would allow us to get married there since we weren't members! We did however find a few that would. I had the best luck with chapel associated with schools, since really, no one is a "registered member" at those churches. But you'll probably have to find your own priest, which could be difficult if you don't have a "home" parish. We ended up going with the Cathedral of the Most Blessed Sacrament in downtown Detroit. They have been really great, and it's a beautiful church, so I would highly recommend looking into that as an option.

I would also go ahead and talk to the priest at the church you're interested in. I think if you explain your situation, that you haven't been practicing but you want to come back to the faith and it's important to you to be married in the church and receive the sacrament and everything, he might be sympathetic. Especially if you promise to become a registered member and start attending regularly and tithing. It can't hurt to ask, the worst he can do is say no!

culbycheese · May 2010

We just got married at St. John Vianney in Shelby Township on May 8. We were not members, and I joined the conversion classes in November of last year (FI was already Catholic, but neither of us went to church) and I got baptized the day before Easter this year.... They are really laid back, and although we are members now, they never took attendance or anything or expected us to donate. They did ask that we go to mass to make sure that it was the kind of church we would want to be a part of, and we had nothing but a positive experience, and I loved that we were married by the same man who baptized me!

It made for a very personal experience- and we love Father Doc.

It's a cool place if you want to check it out...

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