Earn cash as you plan. Get a $20 gift card for every 200 points with The Knot Rewards
Wedding Party
lcsnowflake
member
BM dress costs
I have been trying to be respectful of the cost of the BM dresses that I pick out and am unsure if what I am asking of them is too expensive.
Background: I have 6 BMs and only 1 is working full-time at a good job, the other 5 are working but either not full-time or not at a well-paid job. Only one is coming from out of town and I will be helping her with her airfare. The dress I found is Alfred Angelo and retails at $150, which is the cheapest in my area. For $170 another store sells the dress with all alterations included. However, 3 of the girls are taller and will need to pay the additional $20 for the extra length, bringing the cost to $190. It seems like this is alot to ask someone to pay for a dress that they wear once, but everything that is wedding-related seems overpriced!
Does this seem reasonable to ask someone? I've never been in a WP and don't know what is standard. Is there a way that I can ask each BM if the dress is too much for her to spend? I don't want too much input, but I dont want them to feel overwhelmed with the cost.
Background: I have 6 BMs and only 1 is working full-time at a good job, the other 5 are working but either not full-time or not at a well-paid job. Only one is coming from out of town and I will be helping her with her airfare. The dress I found is Alfred Angelo and retails at $150, which is the cheapest in my area. For $170 another store sells the dress with all alterations included. However, 3 of the girls are taller and will need to pay the additional $20 for the extra length, bringing the cost to $190. It seems like this is alot to ask someone to pay for a dress that they wear once, but everything that is wedding-related seems overpriced!
Does this seem reasonable to ask someone? I've never been in a WP and don't know what is standard. Is there a way that I can ask each BM if the dress is too much for her to spend? I don't want too much input, but I dont want them to feel overwhelmed with the cost.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: BM dress costs
"I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.
A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
[QUOTE]I have been trying to be respectful of the cost of the BM dresses that I pick out and am unsure if what I am asking of them is too expensive. Background: I have 6 BMs and only 1 is working full-time at a good job, the other 5 are working but either not full-time or not at a well-paid job. Only one is coming from out of town and I will be helping her with her airfare. The dress I found is Alfred Angelo and retails at $150, which is the cheapest in my area. For $170 another store sells the dress with all alterations included. However, 3 of the girls are taller and will need to pay the additional $20 for the extra length, bringing the cost to $190. It seems like this is alot to ask someone to pay for a dress that they wear once, but everything that is wedding-related seems overpriced! Does this seem reasonable to ask someone? I've never been in a WP and don't know what is standard. Is there a way that I can ask each BM if the dress is too much for her to spend? I don't want too much input, but I dont want them to feel overwhelmed with the cost.
Posted by lcsnowflake[/QUOTE]
"I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.
A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
Remember that it doesn't have to be marketed as a "bridesmaid dress" to be worn as one. There were six girls in my wedding, and the only one who went through a bridal designer found her dress at a thrift store for $20. If you wind up picking a fairly popular dress or one that was popular recently, there's a good chance of your girls picking it up used on eBay or Craigslist.
It's also becoming quite common to give the girls a few guidelines (length, fabric, color, maybe designer) and ask them to pick their own. That way what they spend is entirely on them. My sister did this for her wedding with David's Bridal, and our other sister bought her dress off eBay. For mine, I just told my girls to wear black, and half of them spent $50 or less. One even owned something suitable already. Both weddings looked great.
This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.
Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
Hawaii with my best friend
As one PP noted, even though you definitely should ask your girls about their budgets, you're not necessarily going to get a straight answer. I asked each of my four BMs -- individually -- what they felt comfortable spending, and I got answers like, "Oh, I'm sure that whatever you choose will be fine," from every one of them.
OP, I asked a very similar question on this board as a result of my BMs' vague answers, and the most helpful advice that I received was to pick multiple options, in multiple price ranges, and see which dresses each girl preferred. I sent them each an email with links to the group of dresses that I like best ($200-ish) and also to a group of dresses that are quite a bit cheaper ($100 - $125), without expressing my preference between the two groups of dresses. The girls' answers confirmed that they were comfortable with, and actually preferred, the more expensive group of dresses.
As a side note, have you checked Netbride (online discounter with a good business reputation) for a quote on the dress that you like?
"I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.
A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
Also, I like the suggestion of just giving your girls some guidelines. Tell them color, length, etc and let them pick out their own dress, but ask them to send you a picture before they buy it so you can approve.
Also, you don't need to buy dresses mde for bridesmaids. There are tons of nice dresses that could look like BM dresses at Macys or Nordstrom that would be cheaper, especially if you looked at the sales. Since the dresses are not made to be BM dresses, it's more likely they could be worn again.
And don't say, "I found a dress for $x, is that O.K.?" because she will most likely agree to it just to keep you happy. Say, "What do you want to spend on a dress?"
I asked my two BMs this, and they both said that $200 or under was preferable. Their dresses cost $129 from AnnTaylor.com - we actually got them at last year's Cyber Monday sale. They originally retailed for over $200 each, but we got 40% off plus free shipping.
So like PPs said, remember that you are not limited to "bridesmaid dresses" or dresses from a salon. Department stores and their websites are a great place to look, and so is overstock.com and bluefly.com.
"If you can't think of something nice to say, don't say something nice" - Stephen Colbert
[QUOTE]Honestly, I wouldn't take "whatever you decide" as an answer. If that's what they give you, then throw out specifics. "So, would $200 be easily doable for you? Or is $150 better?" Just be sure to give them a RANGE to choose from, so they don't feel like they are saying No to some specific idea or plan you had.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
Big old ditto to this. If the bridesmaids try to put the decision back onto you, don't let them. Actual conversation I had with a BM:
Me: Hey, the stylist wants you to send her some pictures of what you're thinking for hair so she can plan accordingly.
Her: Well, it's your wedding, so I'll do whatever.
Me: And it's your head. Pick a style.
So my response to, "Whatever you want" would be, "What I want is a dollar amount that you can realistically hand over when it's time to pay, without putting it on a credit card or anything. What would that be?" This is for their own benefit, it's okay to be firm and insist on an answer.
This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.
Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
http://www.alfredangelo.com/Collections/ProductDisplay.aspx?productID=03dd8d3a-a663-46ee-8d43-bb9cbcf041dc&categoryID=772f03c9-de43-4942-bfa0-da77e21ebd65&pg=0&colorId1=
Also- update: I spoke with one of my BMs about the cost of the dress and she was extremely reassuring that she would be ok with whatever dress I picked out and she gave me some idea of a price range. She just got married and will be standing up in another wedding this summer, but she said that she understands BMs dresses are usually wear-once and pay extra money because its labeled a BM dress. I feel much better about the situation and hopefully will have a decision made this weekend!
[QUOTE]Thanks everyone for the advice! mbcdefg : I'm looking for a royal blue, something like the Alfred Angelo cobalt. This is actually one of the dresses I was thinking. <a href="http://www.alfredangelo.com/Collections/ProductDisplay.aspx?productID=03dd8d3a-a663-46ee-8d43-bb9cbcf041dc&categoryID=772f03c9-de43-4942-bfa0-da77e21ebd65&pg=0&colorId1=" rel="nofollow">http://www.alfredangelo.com/Collections/ProductDisplay.aspx?productID=03dd8d3a-a663-46ee-8d43-bb9cbcf041dc&categoryID=772f03c9-de43-4942-bfa0-da77e21ebd65&pg=0&colorId1=</a> Also- update:<strong> I spoke with one of my BMs </strong>about the cost of the dress and she was extremely reassuring that she would be ok with whatever dress I picked out and she gave me some idea of a price range. She just got married and will be standing up in another wedding this summer, but she said that she understands BMs dresses are usually wear-once and pay extra money because its labeled a BM dress. I feel much better about the situation and hopefully will have a decision made this weekend!
Posted by lcsnowflake[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Just be sure to speak to all of them on an individual basis - no group settings.
</div>
http://www.pearlsplace.com/
some reviews: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/pearls-place-review
Also heard good things about netbride.
I privately offered to help her pay for it if she needs it. She said no, she can do it...but I can sense 300 is a bit much for her, and even if she has the money for it, I don't want her to feel like "F%$%$CK I spent $300 on a stupid dress".
This coming Saturday is when we'll be finalizing the dress choice and making the orders. I dunno if I should downplay the $300 dress and opt for a cheaper one. See if the other girls are willing to go with another style. They're all VERY awesome girls and none of them are snobby or bitchy. They just really want to look their best and don't want to waste money on a cheaply made dress.
The $300 dress really is nice though hahahaa...
[QUOTE]2 of my bridesmaids fell in love with a $300 dress and are willing to pay for it. One doesn't really care the cost/style of dress as long as it looks good...and the last one...I can tell she's a bit uneasy about $300. I privately offered to help her pay for it if she needs it. She said no, she can do it...but I can sense 300 is a bit much for her, and even if she has the money for it, I don't want her to feel like "F%$%$CK I spent $300 on a stupid dress". This coming Saturday is when we'll be finalizing the dress choice and making the orders. I dunno if I should downplay the $300 dress and opt for a cheaper one. See if the other girls are willing to go with another style. They're all VERY awesome girls and none of them are snobby or bitchy. They just really want to look their best and don't want to waste money on a cheaply made dress. The $300 dress really is nice though hahahaa...
Posted by reason00[/QUOTE]
You know what the right thing to do is. You know it's wrong to ask this girl to spend $300 on a dress when she's not comfortable doing so. So don't ask her to. Post a pic of the dress on here and see if we can help you find it in a cheaper place--rarely is a BM dress so unique that you can't find something similar or identical for much less money.<div>
</div><div>This is why you get budgets first and individually. This girl doesn't want to be the party-pooper, but also really doesn't feel like she can spend that kind of money. You all went about this backwards, so go back to the drawing board. I guarantee your other BMs won't cry themselves to sleep because they have to spend less on a dress for your wedding, and your friend will thank you for being so accommodating.</div>
"I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.
A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
Yes you can order with extra length on this site.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: BM dress costs : You know what the right thing to do is. You know it's wrong to ask this girl to spend $300 on a dress when she's not comfortable doing so. So don't ask her to. Post a pic of the dress on here and see if we can help you find it in a cheaper place--rarely is a BM dress so unique that you can't find something similar or identical for much less money. This is why you get budgets first and individually. This girl doesn't want to be the party-pooper, but also really doesn't feel like she can spend that kind of money. You all went about this backwards, so go back to the drawing board. I guarantee your other BMs won't cry themselves to sleep because they have to spend less on a dress for your wedding, and your friend will thank you for being so accommodating.
Posted by bablingbrooke[/QUOTE]
Thanks, girl... Funny story actually...
We just went dress shopping on Saturday. I kind of kept the $300 dress to the side and was proposing cheaper ideas...well that same girl that had the issues with the price saw another one by the same designer, so same material etc, and she fell in love with this one so much...and the price was even higher so she was even more bummed out...but I decided to ask if that was the real price on it because it seemed high...the attendent double checked and the dress had gone down to only $250, and plus I had a discount card for the store because it's where I purchased my dress. So she was happy, they all were. They walked away with a $360 dress for only $210 including taxes.
This is the dress they ended up choosing...
<a href="http://www.bestbridalprices.com/love-by-enzoani-special-occasion-dresses-style-b8-p-51286.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.bestbridalprices.com/love-by-enzoani-special-occasion-dresses-style-b8-p-51286.html</a>
In the midnight blue (black-looking) colour. Amazing quality, too! I was so happy for them. They felt like a million bucks in this dress for some reason LOL.