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Chit Chat
GoodLuckBear14
member
For those who think we are here to rain on your parade.....
in Chit Chat
Please read this article written by a wedding photographer. He is saying many of the same things that the regs on TK say over and over, starting with the fact that your wedding is one day out of your life..and in the big picture, isn't what is most important.
"But when she tells me she hasn’t looked at her wedding album in probably seven years, I’m reminded of how fleeting it all can be. The bridal industrial complex, in which I’ve been a cog for 14 years, desperately wants couples to believe that it’s all about Your Day!—the emphasis firmly on the “your” part—that if you throw enough fondant and tulle and calla lilies at one eight-hour event, newlyweds might forget about the 438,000 hours yet to come."
It's a long article but well worth the read,
http://www.washingtonian.com/articles/people/remains-of-the-day/index.php
"But when she tells me she hasn’t looked at her wedding album in probably seven years, I’m reminded of how fleeting it all can be. The bridal industrial complex, in which I’ve been a cog for 14 years, desperately wants couples to believe that it’s all about Your Day!—the emphasis firmly on the “your” part—that if you throw enough fondant and tulle and calla lilies at one eight-hour event, newlyweds might forget about the 438,000 hours yet to come."
It's a long article but well worth the read,
http://www.washingtonian.com/articles/people/remains-of-the-day/index.php
Proud to be an old married hag!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: For those who think we are here to rain on your parade.....
[QUOTE]But the article isn't ABOUT love, commitment, and happiness. It's about how one perfect day doesn't guarantee a perfect life and giving perspective. And it does that very, very well. The part about how it is no longer acceptable to just take photos of the bride and groom being happy and all the "detail" shots reminds me of how damn near every person we met, including most of the posters here, told us we were crazy for not hiring a pro photographer and we would regret it for the rest of our lives. It's true, I have no photos of my dress hanging on a door with the perfect sunlight streaming in or the groomsmen all picking me up. But I have the photo of H in his tux and his dad in his overalls, <strong>I have my mom and I making the same horrible face at something my brother said.</strong> I have documented memories of the best and worst moments of the day, unposed and unairbrushed, and that's what mattered to me.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
Me too Stage!
<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/7/6/278afbf8-ec71-46fa-b6a0-baedbd77f1f2.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/7/6/278afbf8-ec71-46fa-b6a0-baedbd77f1f2.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>
Agree with the rest, too, but mainly wanted to show off one of my favorite pictures.
[QUOTE]While well written, that article was relentlessly depressing. I'm sure he's an excellent photographer, but considering how horribly wrong all but one of those relationships went, I'd stay away from him based on how cursed the couples he's worked with have seemed. I wish he had some nicer things to say about love, commitment or happiness.
Posted by travelerkris[/QUOTE]
Seeing as now a days over half the couples that get married will end in divorce it isn't surprising that some of the "happy" couples he photographed are now separated.
And do you honestly believe the photographer is cursed and that is why those couples separated? If so, good luck in finding vendors in which all of their couples are still happily in love and married. (read with sarcasm)
Thanks GLB.
[QUOTE] The part about how it is no longer acceptable to just take photos of the bride and groom being happy and all the "detail" shots reminds me of how damn near every person we met, including most of the posters here, told us we were crazy for not hiring a pro photographer and we would regret it for the rest of our lives.Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
We didn't hire a pro either. It was a choice between hiring a photographer or hiring transportation for our guests (all but 2 were OOT guests and we didn't want them spending any more money than they already were and didn't want them having to find their way from Philadelphia to West Chester and back - especially back). The only time we even open our wedding album is when we are looking for the recipe for our signature cocktail. We have photos taken by guests that they gave us - and one of them was so good the lighting got a compliment from a certain theater stagemanager when she saw it. :)
[QUOTE]Please read this article written by a wedding photographer. He is saying many of the same things that the regs on TK say over and over, starting with the fact that your wedding is one day out of your life..and in the big picture, isn't what is most important. "But when she tells me she hasn’t looked at her wedding album in probably seven years, I’m reminded of how fleeting it all can be. The bridal industrial complex, in which I’ve been a cog for 14 years, desperately wants couples to believe that it’s all about Your Day!—the emphasis firmly on the “your” part—that if you throw enough fondant and tulle and calla lilies at one eight-hour event, newlyweds might forget about the 438,000 hours yet to come." It's a long article but well worth the read, <a href="http://www.washingtonian.com/articles/people/remains-of-the-day/index.php" rel="nofollow">http://www.washingtonian.com/articles/people/remains-of-the-day/index.php</a>
Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]
Thank you soooo much for this link. This needs to become a sticky. Great read to start my work day.
I've already passed on my my gf's.
Thank you so much for posting the article; I stayed up waaaaaay too late reading it, but it was well worth it. I sent the link along to my FI.
I, too, appreciated him highlighting the "things vs. people" trend in photos. TK sent out an email several months ago with an article titled "50 Must-Have Shots for your Wedding"; as I looked through them I found it depressing, and I finally realized it was because the vast majority of them were "things" ... even most of the ones that had people in them were "stuff" shots (the back of the bridesmaids' dresses, a shot of the aisle decor with a few people in the seats, a bird's-eye view of the cocktail hour). It was as though the main focus was the production and the people were just necessary props.
Don't get me wrong -- I am a detail person and I'm going to be putting a lot of time and love into details at our wedding (very tight budget, so a lot of DIY) and I will want photos of them when they're done ... but if I had to pick 50 MUST HAVE shots? Every single one of them would include the friends and family that are the reason we're having an "event".
Sorry, I didn't mean to get off on that bunny trail, but I do think it reflects the heart of the article -- that there is so much more to getting married than what happens on that one day.
Stage and GoodLuckBear, do you mind if I ask how you handled the photography? Did you have someone/several people who were designated for taking photos? The photographer question is the biggest challenge to our budget right now.
A cousin saw me taking pictures before the ceremony and volunteered to use my camera and take them during the wedding and reception. One of DH's cousins is a photographer who brought her camera and she sent us about ten pictures that she took. The perfect shot was taken by my cousin.
[QUOTE]Just wanted to put this out there, it does depend on age group and education, but the average divorce rate is actually somewhere between 20-35%. Which is encouraging, I think.
Posted by warpedredpenguin[/QUOTE]
The age group does matter. Boomers have the highest - the most marriages and divorces. The only generation I've ever seen with a divorce rate below 35% is Gen-X. (The actual divorce rate combining all generations is above 50%, not 20-30%). The sociologist I saw on the Today Show discussing this low stat said a big part of it is that Gen-X tended to wait until we were in our thirties to marry and is the most highly educated generation in US history (two big factors that tend to predict a marriage's longevity). Again, I saw this on Today a few months ago. If someone has sociological stats they are willing to share, please do.
[QUOTE]While well written, that article was relentlessly depressing. I'm sure he's an excellent photographer, but considering how horribly wrong all but one of those relationships went, I'd stay away from him based on how cursed the couples he's worked with have seemed. I wish he had some nicer things to say about love, commitment or happiness.
Posted by travelerkris[/QUOTE]
<div>I didn't see it that way at all. I think he did a great job illustrating that life is a journey that cannot be decided by the events of one day. The fact that the couple with the disabled child are still optimistic about the future and are facing it as a team, shows you what a committed relationship should look like. </div><div>
</div><div>He also highlights couples that went into marriage blindly. That didn't see the whole picture. That is not depressing, that is just life. If there is anything to take away from those stories in relation to this site, it would be: 'Your wedding is ONE day out of many. Don't let it distract you from the love, commitment, and happiness you hope to enjoy with your spouse for years to come.' </div><div>
</div><div>GLB- Thanks for posting the article! It was a great read. :-)</div>